Tuesday, May 13, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3406

5 Messages

Digest #3406
1
Shayaris, Quotes, Poem, Jokes (03.05.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2a
Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2b
Re: Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14) by "Bijay Kumar" bijayjsr
2c
Re: Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14) by "Ashraf Perwez" ashraf_rahi78
3
Superb Quotes by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

Sun May 4, 2014 4:18 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

यादें पीछे ले जाती हैं,

लेकिन ज़िन्दगी सिर्फ आगे जाती है!

=======

मुझे नींद की इजाज़त भी उसकी यादों से लेनी पड़ती है......!
जो खुद तो सो जाता है, मुझे करवटों में छोड़ कर..................!!

=======

Girl ordered a pizza Waiter: Mam should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8

Girl: 4 hee kar de, 8  khaaungi to Moti ho jaungi...

=======

"If you don't STAND for SOMETHING, 

how can anyone RESPECT what you DO?"

=======

Opportunities Are Equal For All, But The Difference Is That 

+positive Person Gives RESULTS  and negative Person Gives REASONS. 

=======

Judge: Do you want to Stay with your Mom?

Child: No. She Beats me.
Judge: Then do you want to Stay with your Dad?

Child: No,He also Beats me. 
Judge: Than how about your Grandparents or Uncle?

Child: No, they also Beat me.
Judge: Ok. So tell with who you want to Stay ?
Child: I want to Stay with "Mumbai Indians"
They Dont Beat Anybody

=======
A Woman came to a doctor beaten black & blue said - 

Every time My Husband comes home drunk, He beats Me..

Doctor - I've a good remedy for that, Whenever he comes home drunk, 

just take a glass of Mouthwash & start Gargling till he goes to sleep..

Two weeks later she came back looking reborn & fresh & said - Wat a brilliant idea, 

whenever he comes home drunk, I just Gargle & He never beats Me..!

Doctor - You see ! How Keeping Ur MOUTH SHUT, Helps...

=======

True Persons And Well Wishers In Our Life Are Like Stars,

That Constantly Shine But we often Do Not See Them Until The Dark Hours Come.

=======
 "नीलाम कुछ इस कदर हुए,  बाज़ार-ए-वफ़ा में हम आज,, 
बोली लगाने वाले भी वो ही थे,  जो कभी झोली फैला कर माँगा करते थे!!

=======

...इतना कुछ होते हुए भीशब्दकोश में असंख्य शब्द होते हुए भी...
...मौन होना सब से बेहतर है। 
...दुनिया में हजारों रंग होते हुए भी...काला और सफेद रंग सब से बेहतर है। 
...खाने के लिए दुनिया भर की चीजें होते हुए भी......उपवास शरीर के लिए सबसे बेहतर है। 
...पर्यटन के लिए रमणीक स्थल होते हुए भी......पेड़ के नीचे ध्यान लगाना सबसे बेहतर है। 
...देखने के लिए इतना कुछ होते हुए भी......बंद आँखों से भीतर देखना सबसे बेहतर है। 
...सलाह देने वाले लोगों के होते हुए भी......अपनी आत्मा की आवाज सुनना सबसे बेहतर है। 
...जीवन में हजारों प्रलोभन होते हुए भी......सिद्धांतों पर जीना सबसे बेहतर है। 🎭

=======

(This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain)
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. 
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. 
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, 
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied,
"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese"
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. 
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, 
"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." 
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." 
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

=======

**Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?

Brother: A football

Sister: But grandma does not play!

Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita.  Uska kya?

=======

Fri May 9, 2014 1:19 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

Best one..
Duniya ka sabse Mushkil Kaam... ????
Apne Kaam se Kaam rakhna.....

=======

This is Super..

"Murgi aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho gyi..."
Upset Murga murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha
Murgi boli ''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona chahiye''

=======
Kash miljaye muje mukadar ki shahi or kalam..

Har lamha lamha likhdu apne dosto ke nam...

=======

Universal Fact For Men-
Your wife misses you a lot

only when you are partying with your friends.
=======
सबसे छोटी कविता.......
जिन्दगी एक जंग है,

जबतक बीवी संग है... 

=======

Ex-girlfriend ki shaadi ka card mila. Thodi takleef to hui.
Phir socha jayenge zaroor;

Mohabbat apni jagah hai aur daawat apni jagah.

=======

Height of attempting unknown question in an exam...
Question: What is an Array..explain with example?.Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend when he is standing far from you.
Eg.:
"ARRAY Yedya , ikde ye

=======

Lady apne aap se baat karte hue...Ki...I really don't understand who has a vacation actually. ....

a wife with kids at her mom's place or

a husband without his wife n kids to be more with his friends...

=======

 इक्का चाहे कितनी भी बाज़ी मार जाएमगर बेगम तो हमेशा बादशाह कि ही होती है।

=======

Jab Khayal Aaya to Khayal Bhi unka Aaya,

Jab Aankhen Band Ki To Khwab bhi unka Aaya,

Socha Yaad Kar Loo Kisi Aur ko,

Magar Hoth Khule To Naam Bhi unka Aaya..!!

=======

Arrested for laughing...!!This is from an actual trial in theUK.A young woman who was severalmonths pregnant was sitting in abus.When she noticed a young mansmiling at her she began feelinghumiliated on account of hercondition.She changed her seat and heseemed more amused.She moved again and then on seeinghim laughing more.She filed a court case on him. In thecourt the man's defence was:-When the lady boarded the bus icouldn't help noticing she waspregnant.She sat under an advertisement,which read "Coming Soon- Theunknown boon"..I was even more amused when shethen sat under a shavingadvertisement,which read:- "William's stick did thetrick"..Then I could not control myself anylonger,when on the third move she satunder an advertisement, whichread:- "Dunlop Rubber would haveprevented this accident"..The case was dismissed.The judge fell off his chairlaughing !

=======

मौत को देखा तो नहीं, पर शायद वो बहुत खूबसूरत होगी,

कम्बख़त जो भी उस से मिलता है, जीना छोड़ देता है..
=======

ग़ज़ब की एकता देखी लोगों की ज़माने में .......

ज़िन्दों को गिराने में और मुर्दों को उठाने में ..

=======
ज़िन्दगी में ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात "आख़री" होगी,

ना ज़ाने कौनसी रात "आख़री" होगी ।
मिलते, जुलते, बातें करते रहो यार एक दूसरे से,

ना जाने कौनसी "मुलाक़ात" आख़री होगी ....।।।।

=======

ऐसी बेरुखी भी देखी है हम ने.....!!!.के लोग,

आप से तुम तक......तुम से जान तक,

फिर जान से.....अनजान तक हो जाते है.....!!!

=======

The most stupid questions ppl usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At movies : Hey! Wat are you doing here??Ans : Don't you know??? I sell tickets in black over here
2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing a pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet: Sorry did that hurt?Ans: No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again?
3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl?Ans: Why? Would it rather have been you??
4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : Sorry! Were you sleeping?Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleeping? You dumb witted moron!
5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : Hey! Have you had a haircut?Ans: Nah! Its autumn & am shedding !! :D

=======

Women wear Mangalsutra / Sindoor to show they're married.................Men carry Tupperware lunch boxes into office to show they are married......

=======

दिलों कि बात करता हैं ज़माना.
पर आज भी मोहोब्बत चेहरों से ही शुरू होती हैं  !!

=======

Ajeeb andhera hai a ishq teri mehfil mai... 

Kisi ne dil bhi jalaya to roshni na hui...

=======

Dil se Haso to Saza Dete hai Log,

Sache Jajabat bhi Thukra Dete hai Log,

Kya Dekhenge Do Insano ki Dosti,,

Jab Sath Bhethe 2 Parindo ko bhi Uda dete hai Log...

=======

Nahi Rehta Koi Shakhs Adhoora Kisi Cheez Ke Bina ...
Waqt Guzar Hi Jata Hai Kuch Paa kar Bhi Kuch Kho kar Bhi .

=======

Fri May 9, 2014 4:28 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Bijay Kumar" bijayjsr



superb Arrested for laughing........

--------------------------------------------
On Fri, 9/5/14, Mahesh Popat mahesh_popat@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes] <Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:

Subject: [Hindi Jokes] Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14)
To: Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com
Cc: "mahesh New Id" <mahesh.popat@yahoo.com>, "Group chakdefriends" <chakdefriends@yahoogroups.com>, "Group gujju-lok" <gujju-lok@yahoogroups.com>, "Group loveever_groups" <loveever_groups@yahoogroups.com>, "Group Hindi Jokes" <hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Friday, 9 May, 2014, 8:17 AM














 










CHAK
DE
=======
Best
one..
Duniya ka
sabse Mushkil
Kaam... ????
Apne Kaam se
Kaam rakhna.....
=======
This is

Super..

"Murgi
aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho
gyi..."
Upset Murga
murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka
tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha
Murgi boli
''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona
chahiye''
=======
Kash miljaye
muje mukadar ki shahi or kalam..
Har lamha lamha likhdu apne dosto ke
nam...
=======
Universal Fact For
Men-
Your wife misses you a
lot
only when you are partying with your
friends.
=======
सबसे छोटी
कविता.......
जिन्दगी एक
जंग है,
जबतक बीवी संग
है... 
=======
Ex-girlfriend
ki shaadi ka card mila. Thodi takleef to
hui.
Phir socha jayenge
zaroor;
Mohabbat apni jagah hai aur daawat
apni jagah.
=======
Height of attempting unknown
question in an exam...
Question:
What is an Array..explain with
example?.Student: ARRAY is the word used to
call a friend when he is standing far from
you.
Eg.:
"ARRAY Yedya , ikde
ye
=======
Lady apne aap se baat karte
hue...Ki...I really don't understand who
has a vacation actually. ....
a wife with kids at her mom's
place or
a husband without his wife n kids to
be more with his friends...
=======
 इक्का
चाहे कितनी भी बाज़ी मार
जाएमगर बेगम तो हमेशा
बादशाह कि ही होती
है।
=======
Jab Khayal Aaya to Khayal Bhi unka
Aaya,
Jab Aankhen Band Ki To Khwab bhi
unka Aaya,
Socha Yaad Kar Loo Kisi Aur
ko,
Magar Hoth
Khule To Naam Bhi unka Aaya..!!
=======
Arrested for
laughing...!!This is from an actual trial in
theUK.A young woman who was
severalmonths pregnant was sitting in
abus.When she
noticed a young mansmiling at her she began
feelinghumiliated on account of
hercondition.She changed
her seat and heseemed more
amused.She moved again and then on
seeinghim laughing
more.She filed a court case on him. In
thecourt the man's defence
was:-When the lady boarded the bus
icouldn't
help noticing she waspregnant.She sat under an
advertisement,which read "Coming Soon-
Theunknown
boon"..I was even more amused when
shethen sat under a
shavingadvertisement,which read:- "William&#39;s
stick did thetrick"..Then I could not control myself
anylonger,when on the third move she
satunder an advertisement,
whichread:-
"Dunlop Rubber would haveprevented this
accident"..The case was
dismissed.The
judge fell off his chairlaughing
!
=======
मौत को देखा तो
नहीं, पर शायद वो बहुत
खूबसूरत होगी,
कम्बख़त जो भी
उस से
मिलता है, जीना छोड़
देता है..
=======
ग़ज़ब की एकता
देखी लोगों की ज़माने
में .......
ज़िन्दों को
गिराने में और मुर्दों
को उठाने में ..
=======
ज़िन्दगी में
ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात
"आख़री"
होगी,
ना ज़ाने
कौनसी रात "आख़री"
होगी ।
मिलते, जुलते,
बातें करते रहो यार एक
दूसरे से,
ना जाने कौनसी
"मुलाक़ात" आख़री
होगी ....।।।।
=======
ऐसी बेरुखी भी
देखी
है हम ने.....!!!.के लोग,
आप से तुम
तक......तुम से जान
तक,
फिर जान
से.....अनजान तक हो जाते
है.....!!!
=======
The most stupid questions ppl
usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At movies
: Hey! Wat are you doing here??Ans : Don't you know??? I sell
tickets in black over here
2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing a
pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet: Sorry did that
hurt?Ans: No, not at all. I'm on
local anaesthesia. Why dont you try
again?
3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed
ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl?Ans: Why? Would it rather have been
you??
4. When you get woken up at midnight
by a phone call : Sorry! Were you
sleeping?Ans: No! I was doing a research on
whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i
was sleeping? You dumb witted moron!
5. When you see a friend with an
evidently shorter hair : Hey! Have you had a
haircut?Ans: Nah! Its autumn & am
shedding !! :D
=======
Women wear
Mangalsutra / Sindoor to show they're

married.................Men carry Tupperware lunch boxes
into office to show they are
married......
=======
दिलों कि बात
करता हैं
ज़माना.
पर आज भी
मोहोब्बत चेहरों से ही
शुरू होती हैं
 !!
=======
Ajeeb andhera hai a ishq teri mehfil
mai... 
Kisi ne dil bhi jalaya to roshni na
hui...
=======
Dil se Haso to Saza Dete hai
Log,
Sache Jajabat bhi Thukra Dete hai
Log,
Kya Dekhenge Do Insano ki
Dosti,,
Jab Sath
Bhethe 2 Parindo ko bhi Uda dete hai Log...
=======
Nahi Rehta Koi Shakhs Adhoora Kisi
Cheez Ke Bina ...
Waqt Guzar Hi Jata Hai Kuch Paa kar
Bhi Kuch Kho kar Bhi .
=======























Fri May 9, 2014 4:28 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Ashraf Perwez" ashraf_rahi78

Nice!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks...

On Friday, 9 May 2014 1:47 PM, "Mahesh Popat mahesh_popat@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes]" <Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:

 

CHAK DE

=======

Best one..

Duniya ka sabse 

Mushkil Kaam... ????

Apne 
Kaam se Kaam 
rakhna.....

=======

This is Super..

"Murgi aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho gyi..."

Upset Murga murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha

Murgi boli ''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona chahiye''

=======

Kash miljaye muje mukadar ki shahi or kalam..

Har lamha lamha likhdu apne dosto ke nam...

=======

Universal Fact For Men-

Your wife misses you a lot

only when you are partying with your friends.

=======

सबसे छोटी कविता...
.
.
.
.

जिन्दगी एक जंग है,

जबतक बीवी संग है... 

=======

Ex-girlfriend ki shaadi ka card mila. Thodi takleef to hui.

Phir socha jayenge zaroor;

Mohabbat apni jagah hai aur daawat apni jagah.

=======

Height of attempting unknown question in an exam...

Question: What is an Array..explain with example?
.
Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend when he is standing far from you.

Eg.:

"ARRAY Yedya , ikde ye

=======

Lady apne aap se baat karte hue...
Ki...
I really don't understand who has a vacation actually. ....

a wife with kids at her mom's place or

a husband without his wife n kids to be more with his friends...

=======

 इक्का चाहे कितनी भी बाज़ी मार जाए
मगर 
बेगम तो हमेशा बादशाह कि ही होती है।

=======

Jab Khayal Aaya to Khayal Bhi unka Aaya,

Jab Aankhen Band Ki To Khwab bhi unka Aaya,

Socha Yaad Kar Loo Kisi Aur ko,

Magar Hoth Khule To Naam Bhi unka Aaya..!!

=======

Arrested for laughing...!!
This is from an actual trial in the
UK.
A young woman who was several
months pregnant was sitting in a
bus.
When she noticed a young man
smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her
condition.
She changed her seat and he
seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on seeing
him laughing more.
She filed a court case on him. In the
court the man's defence was:-
When the lady boarded the bus i
couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement,
which read "Coming Soon- The
unknown boon"..
I was even more amused when she
then sat under a shaving
advertisement,
which read:- "William&#39;s stick did the
trick"..
Then I could not control myself any
longer,
when on the third move she sat
under an advertisement, which
read:- "Dunlop Rubber would have
prevented this accident"..
The case was dismissed.
The judge fell off his chair
laughing !

=======

मौत को देखा तो नहीं, पर शायद वो बहुत खूबसूरत होगी,

कम्बख़त जो भी उस से मिलता है, जीना छोड़ देता है..

=======

ग़ज़ब की एकता देखी लोगों की ज़माने में .......

ज़िन्दों को गिराने में और मुर्दों को उठाने में ..

=======

ज़िन्दगी में ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात "आख़री" होगी,

ना ज़ाने कौनसी रात "आख़री" होगी ।

मिलते, जुलते, बातें करते रहो यार एक दूसरे से,

ना जाने कौनसी "मुलाक़ात" आख़री होगी ....।।।।

=======

ऐसी बेरुखी भी देखी है हम ने.....!!!
.
के लोग,

आप से तुम तक......तुम से जान तक,

फिर जान से.....अनजान तक हो जाते है.....!!!

=======

The most stupid questions ppl usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At movies : Hey! Wat are you doing here??
Ans : Don't you know??? I sell tickets in black over here

2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing a pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet: Sorry did that hurt?
Ans: No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again?

3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl?
Ans: Why? Would it rather have been you??

4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : Sorry! Were you sleeping?
Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleeping? You dumb witted moron!

5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : Hey! Have you had a haircut?
Ans: Nah! Its autumn & am shedding !! :D

=======

Women wear Mangalsutra / Sindoor to show they're married..
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Men carry Tupperware lunch boxes into office to show they are married......

=======

दिलों कि बात करता हैं ज़माना.

पर आज भी मोहोब्बत चेहरों से ही शुरू होती हैं  !!

=======

Ajeeb andhera hai a ishq teri mehfil mai... 

Kisi ne dil bhi jalaya to roshni na hui...

=======

Dil se Haso to Saza Dete hai Log,

Sache Jajabat bhi Thukra Dete hai Log,

Kya Dekhenge Do Insano ki Dosti,,

Jab Sath Bhethe 2 Parindo ko bhi Uda dete hai Log...

=======

Nahi Rehta Koi Shakhs Adhoora Kisi Cheez Ke Bina ...

Waqt Guzar Hi Jata Hai Kuch Paa kar Bhi Kuch Kho kar Bhi .

=======

Fri May 9, 2014 5:46 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

"Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there." -- John Wooden

=======

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." -- Walt Disney

=======

A problem is only a problem if you make the choice to see it as a problem

========

"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." -- Denis Waitley

=======

What is the secret of SUCCESS ???" RIGHT DECISIONS " ;What is the secret of RIGHT DECISIONS ???" EXPERIENCE "&What is the secret of EXPERIENCE ???
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
" WRONG DECISIONS " ...............
So , success is a circle of your efforts , whether right or
wrong do not matter , what matters is the courage to
continue .

=======

"Ask for what you want. Ask for help, ask for input, ask for advice and ideas -- but never be afraid to ask." -- Brian Tracy

========
To subscribe send email to hindi_jokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To unsbscribe send email to hindi_jokes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com email here to post your sms,jokes and pictures.

www.facebook.com/ganeshkumble21 Join with us on face book


You are interested to moderate hindi jokes group?
Mail me at ganeshkumble2014@gmail.com

Monday, May 12, 2014

Tooling Maker

Dear Sir/Madam,

This is Nula from B&H King Mold Limited.We are based in ShenZhen,China, and are a manufacturer of plastic injection moulds & moulded parts.

Please feel free to contact me for further details or send us your drawings for a quote.

Best Regards
Nula Han
King Mold / Business Dept.
Tel: +86-755-89472535

Saturday, May 3, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3405

2 Messages

Digest #3405
1
Shayaris, Jokes, Quote, Cool (02.05.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2
Law of the Garbage Truck. by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

Fri May 2, 2014 5:00 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

Zindagi Jeene Ka Formula
"Logon Ko Harane Ki Koshish Karne Ki Bajaye,,,

Logon Ko Jeetne Ka Prayas Karo..."

=======
Beautiful words.
Read it till you understand it:-

"Faults are Thin 
when, Relationships are Thick"

=======
Bengali women ....
How nicely they introduce their husbands -

"Yeh homaara HOBBY hai"

=======

CAUTION :

Even if your wife uses dual sim phone,

save both the number under one name

WIFE......

Never save it as "wife 1" and "wife 2"
: from a Hospitalised Husband

=======

Kabhi suna hai Income Tax aur Service Tax mein se naam delete ho gaya??

To phir Election list mein se kaise gayab hota hai??

Kya democracy hai???

=======

Aaj ki pyaari baat

Agar ek haara hua Insan harne ke bad bhi smile kare,

to jitnewala apni jeet ki khushi kho deta hai,

That is the POWER of SMILE
=======

Went to wish my neighbour today, 

I asked their maid where the couple were,
she said "Woh bahar gayen hain Unka Marriage Unnecessary hai !"

=======

One minute without friends is equalto.. .... ...... .....60 seconds.. No need to be emotional everytime... 

=======

Gujarati wife : bolo ab ki baar....

Husband : pela shaak vaghaar!
=======
हर शख्स को नफरत झूठ से है, 

मैँ परेशा हूँ सोच कर कि फिर ये झूठ बोलता कौन है...

=======

लोग कहते है की दुनिया की सबसे सख्त सजा है इंतज़ार,

पर ये जिंदा रहने का एक बहाना भी तो है....

=======

Fri May 2, 2014 5:00 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

This has to be one of the best life changing messages and
when you sit and think about it....

It is so true...!!

Law of the Garbage Truck. 

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. 

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. 

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy could almost ruin your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.

Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets,

So ... Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't. 

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a garbage-free Life..!!
To subscribe send email to hindi_jokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To unsbscribe send email to hindi_jokes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com email here to post your sms,jokes and pictures.

www.facebook.com/ganeshkumble21 Join with us on face book


You are interested to moderate hindi jokes group?
Mail me at ganeshkumble2014@gmail.com

Friday, May 2, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3404

1 Message

Digest #3404
1
Shayaris, Jokes, Quotes, Cool (01.05.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Message

Thu May 1, 2014 6:50 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

Success has one calculation formula, 

stop thinking in terms of limitations and 

start thinking in terms of possibilities.....

=======
माँ की लोरी का एहसास  है...

पर माँ को माँ कहने का वक्त नही

=======

जीतना बड़ा संधषॅ होगा ।

जित उतनी ही शानदार होगी ।।

=======

अपने ही कहते थे कि तुम ना रहोगे तो रौनक नही रहेगी महफिल में, 

आज देखो अर्थी देख् के कहते है, "और कितना वक्त लगेगा  ले जाने मे

=======
"माचिस की ज़रूरत यहाँ नहीं पड़ती...

यहाँ आदमी आदमी से जलता है...!!"

=======
A space ship hovers over Mumbai...

Aliens from inside the space ship :" We are going to Hijack your city"

Mumbaikar : "Pehle parking ke liye jagah miltaa hai kyaa dekh...baat kartaa hai..

=======

Fight for your opinions,

but do not believe that they contain the whole truth, or the only truth.
--Charles A. Dana

=======

"Ajnabi they aap hamare liye,

u dost bankar milna accha laga!

Beshak sagar se gahri hai aapki dosti,

tairna to aata tha par dubna accha laga!"

=======

बड़ा ही दिलकश है मुहब्बत का खेल सब खेलों में,

जो हारा वो फिर नहीं खेला जो जीता उसने तौबा कर ली...

=======

When someone touches u & u don't feel it ....it's called ignorance
When someone touches u & u feel it ....it's called love

When no one touched u but u feel it ... It's called...
KHUJLI !!!

=======

Manzil to mil hi jayegi , Bhatak kar hi sahi..!!!
Gumraah to wo hai , Jo ghar se nikle hi nahi..!!

=======

Dil-e-Gumrah Ko Kaash !! Ye Maloom Ho Jaata. . . Ki.. . .

Mohabbat Us WaQt Tak DILCHASP Hoti hai , Jab Tak Nahi Hoti.!!

=======

Rani Mukharjee: "Aditya darling, ab shaadi ho gayi hai, y

eh purana Sofa fenk do naya le lete hain". 
Uday: "Bhabhi yeh Sofa nahi, main hoon"

=======
Breaking News
Election Commission of India has confirmed that your Vote will be counted 

even if you don't upload finger mark photo on Facebook and Whatsapp.

=======
To subscribe send email to hindi_jokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To unsbscribe send email to hindi_jokes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com email here to post your sms,jokes and pictures.

www.facebook.com/ganeshkumble21 Join with us on face book


You are interested to moderate hindi jokes group?
Mail me at ganeshkumble2014@gmail.com

Thursday, May 1, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3403

1 Message

Digest #3403
1
Shayaris, Jokes, Cool (30.04.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Message

Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:54 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

अंत में लिखी है दोनों कि बर्बादी,

आशिक़ हो या हो कोई आतंकवादी.

=======

बड़े-बुज़ुर्ग कहते थे कि 

जले पर टूथपेस्ट लगा लो, 
कम्बख्तों ने टूथपेस्ट में भी 

नमक डाल दिया ।

=======
हमारा दुश्मन हमसे बोला "बहुत महंगी पड़ेगी तुझेदुश्मनी मेरी "...

हमने उसको उत्तर ये दिया कि "सस्ती चीज हम कभी खरीदते ही नहीं"

=======

Ek ghar me saas-bahu bahot pyar se rehte the..
ek baar ghar me ek guest aya..
bahu ne saas ko uss guest se baat karte suna..
saas keh rhi thi 'Beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h aur bahu namak ki tarah'..
ye sun kar bahu ko bahot bura laga..
wo udas rehne lagi..
jab saas ko is baat ka pata chala to bahu se kaaran puchha..
bahu ne kaaran bataya.

Tab saas ne hans kar kaha 'uss baat ka matlab he..
beti shakkar ki tarah hoti h jo har haal me mithi lagti h
jabki bahu namak ki tarah hoti h jiska karz nhi chukaya ja saktaJinke bina har ceez ka swaad be-swaad ho jaata hai "
.So ALL BAHURANIS CHEER UP ..  YOU ARE THE BEST

=======

ये जो मेरी कब्र पर रोते हैं न ,

अभी उठ जाऊं तो जीने न दे ........!!

=======
खेरात में मिली हुई खुशी हमे पसंद नही है क्यूंक
हम गम में भी नवाब की तरह जीते है...!!!-

=======

अगर जींदगी मे कुछ पाना हो तो 

तरीके बदलो,....ईरादे नही...!!!

=======

Seasons in India:
1: "Raincoat to pehen le"
2: "Sweater paherna nahi tha to kharida kyon"
3: "Paani pi ke bottle bhar diya karo kabhi"

=======

Once my wife wanted me to surprise her with something for birthday that would take her breath away

so I got her a treadmill !!

=======

Sardar ji Bank me paise jama karane gaya.

Cashier-Tumhare Note nakli hai.

Sardar-Tujhe kya farak padata hai?Jama to Mere Account me ho rahe hai na..!! 

=======

वो अक्सर मुझसे कहते थे,

की रिश्ते फूल जैसे होते है.....

कदम रुक से गए आज मेरे,

बाजार में फूल बिकते देखकर.....

=======
'सब्र' और 'सच्चाई' एक ऐसी सवारी है.....

जो अपने सवार को कभी गिरने नहीं देती.....

ना किसी के कदमो में...और

ना किसी की नज़रों में...

========

"नही है हमारा हाल, 

कुछ तुम्हारे हाल से अलग, 

बस फ़र्क है इतना, 

कि तुम याद करते हो, 

और हम भूल नही पाते."

=======

तेरी आँखो से एक चीज़ लाजवाब पीता हु ...

मैं हु तो ग़रीब पर सबसे महँगी शराब पीता हु...

=======

वोह कबसे तलवार लिये मेरे पीछे भाग रही है...
मैने तो मजाक मै कहा था की...दिल चीर के दैख... तेरा ही नाम होगा...

=======
Monday Night:
Wife: Aaj tum daaru peeke aaye ho ! Kyun?Husband : Arre Aaj office mai foreign clients k saath meeting thi to peeni padi 
Tuesday Night:
Wife: Aaj tum fir daaru peeke aaye ho ! Kyun?Husband : Arre Aaj mere ek friend ki engagement thi to Usne party di isliye
Wednesday Night:
Wife: Aaj bhi tum peeke aaye..Husband: Arre Aaj ek friend ka breakup ho gaya...WO bahut udaas tha to Uska mood fresh karne ke liye...
Thursday Night:
Wife: Aaj fir se...Ab kiska breakup ho gaya?Husband: Breakup nahi....Aaj Office mai work load bahut tha...bahut tension thi....isliye
Friday Night:
Wife: Aaj kyun?Husband : Arre jis friend ki engagement thi na Tuesday ko, Aaj uski shaadi thi...to khushi ke mauke pe to....samajh gayi na
Saturday Night:
Wife: hmmm...Ab?Husband : Aaj purane school friends mil gaye the to WO disco le gaye aur zabardasti pila di...maine bahut mana bhi kiya par maane nahi...
Sunday Night:
Wife (gusse se): Ab Aaj kya ho gaya..
Husband : AAJ MERA MOOD THA

=======
मेरे बारे मे कोइ राय मत बनाना गालिब,

मेरा वक्त भी बदलेगा, और तेरी राय भी ।

=======

वो रोई जरुर होगी खाली कागज़ देखकर ज़वाब में..

जिंदगी कैसी बीत रही है पूछा था उसने ....!

=======

WOMAN.
When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day.......
An angel came by and asked." Why spend so much time on her ?"..                                          The lord answered. " Have you seen all the  specifications I have to meet to shape her?".....  
" She must be washable but not made of plastic,   .. have more than 200 moving parts which must be replaceable  
she must function on all kinds of foods,  ...
she must be able to embrace several kids at the same time, 
give a hug that can heal anything from a bruised knee to a broken heart , 
she must do all this with only two hands,.." 
She cures herself when sick and can work 18 hours a day".... ...                                                                                                          THE ANGEL was impressed. .." Just two hands.....impossible !" ..
And this is the standard model ? ! ...." 
The Angel came closer and touched the woman"......  ..
." But you have made her so soft, Lord".....
." She is soft", said the Lord, 
" But I have made her strong. You can't imagine what she can endure and overcome "...
."Can she think?" The Angel asked...
The Lord answered. " Not only can she think, she can reason and negotiate" ....The Angel touched her cheeks.....
" Lord, it seems this creation is leaking !  You have put too many burdens on her. " ...
."She is not leaking...it is a tear" The Lord corrected the Angel...
" What's it for?" Asked the Angel..... ..The Lord said. " Tears are her way of expressing her grief, her doubts, her love, her loneliness, her suffering and her pride."...
THIS made a big impression on the Angel, 
" Lord, you are genius. You thought of everything. A  woman is indeed marvellous !".... ....Lord said." Indeed she is. 
She has strength that amazes a man. 
She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens. 
She holds happiness, love and opinions. 
She smiles when she feels like screaming. 
She sings when she feels like crying, cries when happy and laughs when afraid. 
She fights for what she believes in. 
Her love is unconditional. 
Her heart is broken when a next-of-kin or a friend dies 
but she finds strength to get on with life." ..
The Angel asked : So she is a perfect ? 
The lord replied : No. She has just one drawback
" She often forgets what she is worth".

=======
To subscribe send email to hindi_jokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To unsbscribe send email to hindi_jokes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com email here to post your sms,jokes and pictures.

www.facebook.com/ganeshkumble21 Join with us on face book


You are interested to moderate hindi jokes group?
Mail me at ganeshkumble2014@gmail.com