[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3396

Hindi Jokes funny sms shayries pictures Group

3 Messages

Digest #3396

1

Women you're gonna love this one! by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

2

Jokes, Shayaris & Quote by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

3

A sample of the language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

1

Women you're gonna love this one!

Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:04 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

Dedicated to all my friends. Women you're gonna love this one!
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop sweets years ago", the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping", the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?", the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I hvnt had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husbandand myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, salon and chocolates.

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2

Jokes, Shayaris & Quote

Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:48 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

==========

4 surgeons sat around discussing their favorite patients type 
1st surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".
2nd surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".
3rd surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded.
The 4th surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."
The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.
The 4th surgeon continues,    "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the butts  and brains  are interchangeable."happy voting

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1 train me Katrina without ticket travel kar rahi thi..

Usne saree pehni thi.. T.C. Ne usse 100 rs fine liye..

Aishwarya ne jeans pehni thi, usse 75 rs fine liye..

Karina ne skirt pehni thi, usse 50 rs fine liye..

Par Sunny Leone se kuchh nai liya..

Why.. ??

Q ki...........................................Uske pas ticket tha.
Soch badlo desh badlega..
Modi akela kya karega.....

==========

ये मुकरने का अंदाज़ मुझे भी सीखा दो
वादे नीभा-नीभा के थक गया हूँ मैं...

==========
Couple silently sitting next to each other & husband not talking....
Wife thinks. Why is he not talking to me? 

Is he thinking of another woman? 
Is he seeing someone?
Are wrinkles showing on my face? 

Is he trying to dump me?

Have I put on weight ?
Does my make up repel him these days?

Is he upset with my nagging? Why?
Husband thinks: Why the hell did Dhoni send Yuvaraj to bat... ?

==========

Definition of TIME!
Slow, when you wait!

Fast, when you r Late!

Deadly, when you r Sad!

Short, when you r happy!

Endless, when you r in Pain!

Long,when you feel bore!
Sometimes, time is determined by your feelings

and your psychological conditions not by clocks...
So,

Have A Nice Time Always!! :)

==========
ये सोच कर की शायद वो खिड़की से झाँक ले;

उसकी गली के बच्चे आपस में लड़ा दिए मैंने।

==========

2 wheeler travel mein Udti hai bahoot dust yaarAbki baar.................

..
....

Let's go by car
Har msg mein zaroori nahi Modi Sarkar 

===========
MAA tere pyar ka haq, mujhse ada kya hoga..
Tu gar hai naaraz, toh khush mujhse khuda kya hoga !!

===========

Once a father beats up his son and when son starts crying father says sorry.
Son says - Take a piece of paper. Crumble it. Fold it. Now open it. Say "sorry" to it. Are the scars on the paper gone?
Dad says- Take my scooter and try to start.
does it start? Nahin naa.Now give it 3-4 kicks.
Now does it start? Hua na.
Saale tu wahi scooter hai, koi paper nahi.

Aage se ye Facebook/WhatsApp wale gyaan apne baap ko mat dena.

===========

Diapers ke advertisement Mai chhote bachho ke izzat lootne walo ...

Janta maaf nahi karegi. 
============
Gulami to sirf tere ishq ki he.....

baaki yeh dil to pehle bhi nawab tha, aaj bhi nawab he

==========

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3

A sample of the language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in

Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:48 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

=========

A sample of the language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in Mumbai.........
1. There's a minor problem- Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya 

2. There's a big problem - Arre yaar, "Jhol" ho gaya 

3. There's a huge problem..(unsolvable)-Arre yaar,"Raada" ho  Gaya 

4. You'll be surprised .- Ekdam "Hill " jayega tu

5. I am going out of this place - Chal apun "Kaltii" marta hai.

6. Don't make a fool of others - Dekh , tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko 

7. Just get out of here,you oversmart fool!! - Chal e shane, "Hawa"aan de

8. I am not a stupid out here - Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se nahi aaya

9. There's some misunderstanding - Arre kuch "Galat Faimili" ho gayi 

10. Do u drink daily? - Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai?

11. See, You are afraid.. - Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi

12. Shall I bash u? - E Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ? 

13. Just take him into a secret place -Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja

14. What a beautiful lady !! - Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!!

15. Don't just bluff. - E Jyaada "RAAG" mat de.. 

16. Don't take much tension.. - Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya??

17. Your clothes are very awkward!! - Kya "ZAGMAG /DHINKCHAAK"pehna tune? 

18. I don't care about it much..!! - Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"

19. Please don't bore me... - Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu

20. All this must be done without anyone's notice Sab kaam "SUUMDI" me hona chahiye...kya?

All the mumbaikars would b having a smile on their face afer readiNg this .

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[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3395

Hindi Jokes funny sms shayries pictures Group

5 Messages

Digest #3395

1

One young man .......(Story) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

2

Shayris, Jokes, Quotes (11.04.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

3

A store that sells "New Husbands" by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

4

Coffee on wall :---A story from Murlidhar Gupta by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

5

"कोर्ट मार्शल" by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

1

One young man .......(Story)

Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:54 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

============

One young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company.
He passed the initial interview, and now would meet the director for the final interview.
The director discovered from his CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent.
He asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?" the youth answered "no".
" Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
"My father passed away when I was one year old,
it was my mother who paid for my school fees." he replied.
" Where did your mother work?"
"My mother worked as clothes cleaner."
The director requested the youth to show his hands.
The youth showed a pair of hands that were smooth and perfect.
" Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes before?"
"Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read more books.
Besides, my mother can wash clothes faster than me.
The director said, "I have a request.
When you go home today, 
go and clean your mother's hands,
and then see me tomorrow morning.
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high.
When he went back home, he asked his mother to let him clean her hands.
His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed her hands to her son.
The youth cleaned his mother's hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that.
It was the first time he noticed that his mother's hands were so wrinkled,
and there were so many bruises in her hands.
Some bruises were so painful that his mother winced when he touched it.
This was the first time the youth realized that
it was this pair of hands that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fees.
The bruises in the mother's hands were the price that the mother had to pay for his education, his school activities and his future.
After cleaning his mother hands, the youth quietly washed all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the director's office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youth's eyes, when he asked: "Can you tell me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered," I cleaned my mother's hand, and also finished cleaning all the remaining clothes'
"I know now what appreciation is. Without my mother, I would not be who I am today. By helping my mother, only now do I realize how difficult and tough it is to get something done on your own. And I have come to appreciate the importance and value of helping one's family.
The director said, "This is what I am looking for in a manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person who would not put money as his only goal in life."
"You are hired."

A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted,
would develop an "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first.

He would be ignorant of his parent's efforts. If we are this kind of protective parents,
are we really showing love or are we destroying our children instead?
You can let your child live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch on a big screen TV.
But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it.
After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their brothers and sisters.

It is not because you do not have money to hire a maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way.

You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are,
one day their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person.

The most important thing is your child learns how to appreciate the effort and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others to get things done.

=============

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2

Shayris, Jokes, Quotes (11.04.14)

Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:54 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

=========

चलते चलते अचानक पीछे मुङकर देखा,

तो कुछ यादें हस रहीं थी और कुछ रिश्ते दम तोङ रहे थे..

=========

Ek unknown caller ne 98.3 FM pe phone kiya.
Man : Mujhe S.V. Road pe ek Purse mila hai jisme 15000 cash. . .

ek Credit Card n Pallavi Mishra ke naam ka ID mila hai.
Radio Jockey : Wah... Aap kitne imaandaar hain...

Kya aap unhe woh purse waapis karna chahenge. . ???
Man : Nahi!!

Main chahta hu ki Pallavi Mishra ke liye ek SAD SONG bajaya jaaye...

===========

कमाल का ताना दिया 

आज किसी ने मुझे..

कि, लिखते तो खूब होसमझा भी दिया करो ! 

==========
कुछ कर के दिखा दिया, कि काम बहुत है,

इस जहाँ मे जीतने वाले मुक़ाम बहुत है,

मुकमल शख्स वही जो दुनिया को बदल डाले,

रोज़ मर मिटने वाले नाम बहुत है.

==========
ये कफ़न, ये जनाजे, ये कबर... 

रस्म-ऐ-दुनिया है दोस्त,

मर तो इंसान तब ही जाता है  

जब याद करने वाला कोई न हो.

=========

आज वो काबिल हुए,जो कभी काबिल ना थे...
औरमंज़िलें उनको मिली,जो दौड़ में शामिल ना थे...!!!

==========
"Holding on to anger is like...

keeping a burning piece of coal in your hands...

to throw at your enemy but it burns u first...!!"

===========

Best way to save your phone's battery... is...

 to sit beside your spouse.

========

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3

A store that sells "New Husbands"

Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:54 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

================

A store that sells "New Husbands" has opened in New York City,
where a woman may go to choose a husband.
There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the floors..
A woman goes to find a husband.
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.
She continues to the second floor..
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs ...n love kids..
she continues upward...
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking..
'Wow,' she thinks, but She goes to the fourth floor..
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Good Looking and Help with Housework.
She exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor...
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are very handsome, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic nature.. 
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor...
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please!!! 
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store..
(scroll and keep reading!) 

Now The store's owner opened a "New Wives Store" just across the street..
The 1st Floor has wives that listen to men.........
The 2nd, 3rd, 4th,5th and 6th floor have never been visited by men!!!!!!

============

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4

Coffee on wall :---A story from Murlidhar Gupta

Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:05 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

==============

Coffee on wall :---A story from Murlidhar Gupta
I sat with my friend in a well-known coffee shop in a neighbouring town of Venice (Italy), the city of lights and water. As we enjoyed our coffee, a man entered and sat at an empty table beside us. He called the waiter and placed his order saying, 'Two cups of coffee, one of them there on the wall.' We heard this order with rather interest and observed that he was served with one cup of coffee but he paid for two.
As soon as he left, the waiter pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying 'A Cup of Coffee'. 
While we were still there, two other men entered and ordered three cups of coffee, two on the table and one on the wall. They had the two cups of coffee but paid for three and left. This time also, the waiter did the same; he pasted a piece of paper on the wall saying, 'A Cup of Coffee'. 
It was something unique and perplexing for us. We finished our coffee, paid the bill and left.
After a few days, we had a chance to go to this coffee shop again. While we were enjoying our coffee, a man poorly dressed entered. As he seated himself, he looked at the wall and said, 'One cup of coffee from the wall'. The waiter served coffee to this man with the customary respect and dignity. The man had his coffee and left without paying. 
We were amazed to watch all this, as the waiter took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the dust bin. Now it was no surprise for us – the matter was very clear. The great respect for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town made our eyes well up in tears. 
Ponder upon the need of what this man wanted... He enters the coffee shop without having to lower his self-esteem… he has no need to ask for a free cup of coffee… without asking or knowing about the one who is giving this cup of coffee to him. He only looked at the wall, placed an order for himself, enjoyed his coffee and left.
... probably the most beautiful wall you may ever see anywhere....!!!

==========

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5

"कोर्ट मार्शल"

Fri Apr 11, 2014 8:06 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

===========

दोस्तों पूरा पढना, धांसू मटेरियल है।
"कोर्ट मार्शल"
आर्मी कोर्ट रूम में आज एककेस अनोखा अड़ा थाछाती तान अफसरों के आगेफौजी बलवान खड़ा था
बिन हुक्म बलवान तूने येकदम कैसे उठा लियाकिससे पूछ उस रात तूदुश्मन की सीमा में जा लिया
बलवान बोला सर जी! ये बताओकि वो किस से पूछ के आये थेसोये फौजियों के सिर काटने काफरमान कोन से बाप से लाये थे
बलवान का जवाब में सवाल दागनाअफसरों को पसंद नही आयाऔर बीच वाले अफसर ने लिखनेके लिए जल्दी से पेन उठाया
एक बोला बलवान हमें ऊपरजवाब देना है और तेरे काटे हुएसिर का पूरा हिसाब देना है
तेरी इस करतूत ने हमारी नाक कटवा दीअंतरास्ट्रीय बिरादरी में तूने थू थू करवा दी
बलवान खून का कड़वा घूंट पी के रह गयाआँख में आया आंसू भीतर को ही बह गया
बोला साहब जी! अगर कोईआपकी माँ की इज्जत लूटता होआपकी बहन बेटी या पत्नी कोसरेआम मारता कूटता हो
तो आप पहले अपने बाप काहुकमनामा लाओगे ?या फिर अपने घर की लुटतीइज्जत खुद बचाओगे?
अफसर नीचे झाँकने लगाएक ही जगह पर ताकने लगा
बलवान बोला साहब जी गाँव काग्वार हूँ बस इतना जानता हूँकौन कहाँ है देश का दुश्मन सरहदपे खड़ा खड़ा पहचानता हूँ
सीधा सा आदमी हूँ साहब !मै कोई आंधी नहीं हूँथप्पड़ खा गाल आगे कर दूँमै वो गांधी नहीं हूँ
अगर सरहद पे खड़े होकर गोलीन चलाने की मुनादी हैतो फिर साहब जी ! माफ़ करनाये काहे की आजादी है
सुनों साहब जी ! सरहद पेजब जब भी छिड़ी लडाई हैभारत माँ दुश्मन से नही आपजैसों से हारती आई है
वोटों की राजनीति साहब जीलोकतंत्र का मैल हैऔर भारतीय सेना इस राजनीतिकी रखैल है
ये क्या हुकम देंगे हमें जोखुद ही भिखारी हैंकिन्नर है सारे के सारे न कोईनर है न नारी है
ज्यादा कुछ कहूँ तो साहब जीदोनों हाथ जोड़ के माफ़ी हैदुश्मन का पेशाब निकालने कोतो हमारी आँख ही काफी है
और साहब जी एक बात बताओवर्तमान से थोडा सा पीछे जाओ
कारगिल में जब मैंने अपना पंजाबवाला यार जसवंत खोया थाआप गवाह हो साहब जी उस वक्तमै बिल्कुल भी नहीं रोया था
खुद उसके शरीर को उसके गाँवजाकर मै उतार कर आया थाउसके दोनों बच्चों के सिर साहब जीमै पुचकार कर आया था
पर उस दिन रोया मै जब उसकीघरवाली होंसला छोड़ती दिखीऔर लघु सचिवालय में वो चपरासीके हाथ पांव जोड़ती दिखी
आग लग गयी साहब जी दिलकिया कि सबके छक्के छुड़ा दूँचपरासी और उस चरित्रहीनअफसर को मै गोली से उड़ा दूँ
एक लाख की आस में भाभीआज भी धक्के खाती हैदो मासूमो की चमड़ी धूप मेंयूँही झुलसी जाती है
और साहब जी ! शहीद जोगिन्दरको तो नहीं भूले होंगे आपघर में जवान बहन थी जिसकीऔर अँधा था जिसका बाप
अब बाप हर रोज लड़की कोकमरे में बंद करके आता हैऔर स्टेशन पर एक रूपये केलिए जोर से चिल्लाता है
पता नही कितने जोगिन्दर जसवंतयूँ अपनी जान गवांते हैंऔर उनके परिजन मासूम बच्चेयूँ दर दर की ठोकरें खाते हैं..
भरे गले से तीसरा अफसर बोलाबात को और ज्यादा न बढाओउस रात क्या- क्या हुआ था बसयही अपनी सफाई में बताओ
भरी आँखों से हँसते हुए बलवानबोलने लगाउसका हर बोल सबके कलेजोंको छोलने लगा
साहब जी ! उस हमले की रातहमने सन्देश भेजे लगातार सात
हर बार की तरह कोई जवाब नही आयादो जवान मारे गए पर कोई हिसाब नही आया
चौंकी पे जमे जवान लगातारगोलीबारी में मारे जा रहे थेऔर हम दुश्मन से नहीं अपनेहेडक्वार्टर से हारे जा रहे थे
फिर दुश्मन के हाथ में कटार देखमेरा सिर चकरा गयागुरमेल का कटा हुआ सिर जबदुश्मन के हाथ में आ गया
फेंक दिया ट्रांसमीटर मैंने औरकुछ भी सूझ नहीं आई थीबिन आदेश के पहली मर्तबा सर !मैंने बन्दूक उठाई थी
गुरमेल का सिर लिए दुश्मनरेखा पार कर गयापीछे पीछे मै भी अपने पांवउसकी धरती पे धर गया
पर वापिस हार का मुँह देख केन आया हूँवो एक काट कर ले गए थेमै दो काटकर लाया हूँ
इस ब्यान का कोर्ट में न जानेकैसा असर गयापूरे ही कमरे में एक सन्नाटासा पसर गया
पूरे का पूरा माहौल बस एक हीसवाल में खो रहा थाकि कोर्ट मार्शल फौजी का थाया पूरे देश का हो रहा था ?
Doston, Ek Baar.. ise itna faila do ki saare nation ko kuch sharam aayeBhaiyo pyaar ki sher-shayari bohat failayi hai.. jara ise bhi faila do.

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Injection mould supplier

Dear Sir/Madam,

We learned of your company information from the website. We are based in ShenZhen,China, and are a manufacturer of plastic injection moulds & moulded parts.

Please feel free to contact me for further details or send us your drawings for a quote.

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Best Regards
Nula Han
King Mold / Business Dept.
Tel: +86-755-89472535