[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3476

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2 Messages

Digest #3476

1

Shayaris, Jokes, Quotes (25.09.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

2

A story in one of the schools in Chennai where admission is consider by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

1

Shayaris, Jokes, Quotes (25.09.15)

Fri Sep 25, 2015 6:31 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE
======
यहाँ हर किसी को दरारों में से झांकनेकी आदत हैं ,,
दरवाजे खोल दो तो कोई दर्द पूछनेभी नही आता .. ..
======
Never make a woman cry...
There is nothing more expensive than a female tear...
When a single drop of tear comes out, it first mixes with "Loreal" eye liner (Rs.650) & Dior mascara (Rs.2500)...Then when it rolls down the cheek, it mixes with D&G blusher (Rs.2500)...& finally when it touches the lips, it gets mixed with "Maybellene" lipstick (Rs.350)...This means that a single drop is ruining Rs.6000....

Please don't make them cry... It would be difficult to afford it....
Issued in public interest !!!😌
======
A recent psychological research body conducted a simple experiment on a group of married Indian men and women. All the participants were told to translate a few English phrases. One of them was: "I love you too"
Translated by majority of Women - "Main bhi tumko pyar karti hoon"
Translated by nearly half of the men - "Main tumko bhi pyar karta hoon "!!!😜😜😜😜😜😜😜😜
======
🕓 समय कई जख्म देता है, 
इसलिए घड़ी मे 🌺 फुल नही ,,,
काँटे 🌵 होते है।
======
 पायल हज़ारो रूपये में आती है पर पैरो में पहनी जाती है 

और 
बिंदी 2 रूपये में आती है मगर माथे पर सजाई जाती है 
इसलिए कीमत मायने नहीं रखती उसका मान मायने रखता है
======
"एक सुबह ऐसी भी हो,"
"जहाँ आँखे जिंदा रहने के लिये नहीं,"
" पर जिंदगी जीने के लिए खुलें ।
======
लड़की : मै शादी के बाद तुम्हारे दुःख बाँट लूंगी।

लड़का : लेकिन मुझे कोई दुख नहीं है।
लड़की : मै तो शादी के बाद की बात कर रही हूं।😝😝😝😝
======
माँ और घरवाली में सबसे बड़ा फर्क.>माँ "बोलना" सिखाती हैऔर>घरवाली "चुप" रहना
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झूठी शान के परिंदे ही ज्यादा फड़फड़ाते हैं ..…

बाज़ की उडान में कभी आवाज़ नहीं होती ....
======
Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband : नया वाला तो काम कर रहा है ना..??
======

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2

A story in one of the schools in Chennai where admission is consider

Fri Sep 25, 2015 6:34 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE
======
A story in one of the schools in Chennai where admission is considered impossible!!!
To get UKG admission for my friend's daughter I too went there. For that admission my friend had studied a lot than his daughter ...!
The child could not understand why they brought her there..
When we all were standing, the school principal started to converse with the child....yes...in English only! This is one of the most memorable interview I have ever witnessed in my life..Here goes..
"What's your name?"

"Sarithra";
"Good. Tell me something you know"
"I know many things. Tell me what you want...!"
Alas, there is no better point for not getting the admission!
Sarithra's mother was trying to make up the situation but the principal stopped her..
Turning to child, she said.. "Tell any rhyme or story which you know.."
Again,"Which one you want.. Rhyme or Story!?"
"Ok. Plz tell me a story.."
"Do uou want to hear what I studied or what I wrote..!?"
Taken to surprise, she asked "Oh! you write stories...???"
"Why should I not write..?"
Now even I was taken aback But she was impressed with the answer. She ( including us) would have not heard such a story in our life...
Ok, tell me story which you have written-?
Sarithra said "Ravanan kidnapped Sita & took her to Srilanka"
The opening scene failed to impress but still she encouraged the child to continue..
"Rama asked Hanumans help to rescue Sita. Hanuman too agreed to help Rama ..."
"Then?"
"Now, Hanuman called his friend Spider man." No one expected this twist in the story!!
"Why?"
"Because there are lot of mountains between India and Srilanka.. but if we have Spiderman we can go easily with his rope..."
"But Hanuman can fly isn't it.. ?"
"Yes. But he is having Sanjeevi Mountain on one hand so he cannot fly very fast.!"
All is quiet, after a while Sarithra asked "Should I continue or not?.".
"Ok plz continue!"
"Hanuman and Spiderman flew to Srilanka and rescued Sita. Sita said Thanks to both!"
"Why"
"When you are helped you should say Thanks!" So "Hanuman is now called Hulk..."
All were surprised.She realized our curiosity and said " Now Sita is there, so to take her safely back to Rama she called Hulk"
"What??? "Hanuman can carry Sita right?"
"Yes. But he has Sanjeevi Mountain in one hand and has to hold spider man on the other"
No one could control thier smiles. " So when they all started to India they met my friend Akshay! "
"How come Akshay there now?"
"Because its my story and I can bring any one there!"
The principal didn't get angry but waited for the next twist
Then all started to India and landed at Chennai Velechery bus stop! 
Now I asked,"Why they have landed In Velechery bus stop?
"Because they forgot the way..& Hulk got an idea and called Dora!"
I came to know about Dora only there...!
"Dora came and she took Sita to Velechery Venus Colony...that's all!" 
She finished the story with a smile.. 😀
The principal asks "Why venus Colony...?"
"Because sita is there & iam Sita!!!"
The principal was impressed and embraced the child. She has been admitted in UKG & was gifted with a Dora doll...😂😂😂
Kids can really amaze... but we clip their wings (creativity) expecting them to do things as we see it right & not from their viewpoint..
Let's give every child freedom to do their own thing & watch their dreams come true..
======

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[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3475

Hindi Jokes funny sms shayries pictures Group

1 Message

Digest #3475

1

Jokes, Shayaris, Quotes (23.09.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Message

1

Jokes, Shayaris, Quotes (23.09.15)

Wed Sep 23, 2015 7:58 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

CHAK DE

A newly married couple was walking through a garden.

Suddenly a dog ran towards them.

They both knew it will bite them.

The husband lifted his wife 💭 let the dog bite him than his sweetie.

The dog stopped before them barked for a while and ran backwards.

The husband put his wife down expecting a 💋 or 💏 from her.

Then his wife shouted " I have seen people throwing stones and sticks at dogs ; this is the first time I am seeing someone trying to throw his wife at a dog".

Husband... "😱😱😱😱"

Moral : 🆒 A Wife is Wife 🆒

No One ELSE Can MIS-UNDERSTAND a Husband Better than a Wife 😜😝😁🙊😎

======

संता: डाक्टर साहब मैं चश्मा लगाकर पढ़ तो सकूंगा न?

डाक्टर: हाँ हाँ बिल्कुल।

संता: थैन्क यू डाक्टर साहब आपने अनपढ़ आदमी की जिंदगी बना दी।😛😛😛

.....................................

"वो मेरी किस्मत मेरी तकदीर हो गयी,

हमने उनकी याद में इतने ख़त लिखे कि,
वह 'रद्दी' बेचकर ही अमीर हो गयी."

.....................................

कुछ चीजे कमजोर की हिफ़ाजत में भी महफूज़ हे,

जैसे मिटटी के गुल्लक में लोहे के सिक्के....

.....................................

"तुम्हारे संदेश के इंतजार मे हम इतना रोते है,

अब तो पड़ोसी भी अपना मूह हमारे आँसूओ से धोते है"

................................................

गरीबी ही होती है जिसके आँचल मेँ सब एक साथ सो जाते थे..

अमीरी आने पर तो सबको अलग मकान चाहिए..!

..............................................

लिखने वाले ने भी क्या ख़ूब लिखा है..

ज़िन्दगी जब मायूस होती है, तभी महसूस होती है..!

..............................................

जिम्मेदारियां मजबूर कर देती हैं
अपना शहर छोड़ने को,

वरना कौन अपनी गली मे
जीना नहीं चाहता.....

...........................................

हसरतें आज भी
खत लिखती हैं मुझे,

पर मैं अब
पुराने पते पर नहीं रहता ।।

............................................

रिश्ते हमेशा "हम" से ही बनते हैं.

"मैं"

किसी भी रिश्ते को नहीं बनाता..

........................................

दामाद 14 दिनों से ससुराल में था l
सास :- " दामाद जी कब वापस जा रहे हो "
दामाद :- क्योँ
सास :- बहुत दिन हो गये l
दामाद :- आपकी बेटी तो छ: छ: महीने मेरे यहाँ रहती है l
सास :- वो तो वहाँ ब्याही गयी है l
दामाद :- और मैं क्या यहाँ अपहरण करके लाया गया हूँ l😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

............................................

A mother shark is teaching her young how to eat humans.
"First, you go straight at them and then you circle them. You go straight at them again and circle them again. Finally, you go straight at them and then you eat them"
"But, mom, why can't I just eat them the first time around?"
"Well, I suppose you can, but why would you want to eat them with all the shit still inside?"😂😂😂:

.............................................

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