Tuesday, March 24, 2015

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3470

8 Messages

Digest #3470
1
SOME WONDERFUL DEFINITIONS (23.05.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2
Quote, Shayaris, Jokes (23.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
3
A cruise ship met with an incident at sea (23.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
4
MUST READ!!!!  Diff. Between CA nd B.Com (23.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
5
सुख की खोज (23.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
6
WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!! (23.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
7
Jokes, Quote, Shayaris (23.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
8

Messages

Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:22 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
SOME WONDERFUL DEFINITIONS

CIGARETTE:A pinch of tobaccorolled in paperwith fire at one endand a fool at the other! 

MARRIAGE:It's an agreementwhereina man loses his bachelor degreeand a woman gains her master

LECTURE:An art of transmitting Informationfrom the notes of the lecturerto the notes of studentswithout passing through the mindsof either

CONFERENCE:The confusion of one manmultiplied by thenumber present

COMPROMISE:The art of dividinga cake in such a way thateverybody believeshe got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by whichmasculine will power isdefeated by feminine water-power!

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comesbefore marriage

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks,nobody listensand everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY:A feeling when you feelyou are going to feela feelingyou have never felt before

cl-assIC:
A bookwhich people praise,but never read

SMILE:A curvethat can seta lot of things straight!

OFFICE:A placewhere you can relaxafter your strenuoushome life

YAWN:The only timewhen some married menever get to opentheir mouth

ETC:A signto make others believethat you knowmore thanyou actually do

COMMITTEE:Individualswho can donothing individuallyand sit to decidethat nothing can be donetogether

EXPERIENCE:
The namemen giveto theirMistakes

ATOM BOMB:An inventionto bring an endto allinventions

PHILOSOPHER:A foolwho torments himselfduring life,to be spoken ofwhen dead

DIPLOMAT:A personwho tells youto go to hellin such a waythat you actually look forwardto the trip

OPPORTUNIST:A personwho starts taking bathif heaccidentally fallsinto a river

OPTIMIST:A personwho while fallingfrom EIFFEL TOWERsays in midway"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

PESSIMIST: A personwho says thatO is the last letterin ZERO,Instead of the first letterin OPPORTUNITY

MISER:A personwho lives poorso thathe can die RICH!

FATHER:A bankerprovided bynature

CRIMINAL:A guyno differentfrom the other,unless he gets caught

BOSS:
Someonewho is earlywhen you are lateand latewhen you are early

POLITICIAN:One whoshakes your handbefore electionsand your ConfidenceLater 

DOCTOR:A personwho killsyour illsby pills,and kills youby his bills..!!

Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:30 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com


CHAK DE
======
 हमारे महफिल में लोग बिन बुलाये आते हैl 
क्यूकी यहाँ स्वागत में ‪फूल‬ नहीं दिल‬ बिछाये जाते है..."😘😘
======
The boss got out of a BMW 7 series and a junior employee remarked " wow Boss, thats Great"
The boss said "If U also work hard, be Punctual, put in more hours of work in the Weekends, take fewer Holidays,achieve your targets.. 
I will be able to buy an even better car next year" 😝😝😁😁😜😝😜😛
======
मैं "पावर" ओर " पैसे " को नही......
 "स्वभाव" ओर "सम्बन्ध" ज्यादा जरुरी मानता हूं...!!!....😘🔝
======
 बच्चों के साथ बहुत समझदारी से बात करनी चाहिए।नहीं तो परिणाम घातक हो सकता हैउदाहरण -एक बच्चा नल से गिरते हुए पानी को देखकर बोला,पापा यह पानी कहां से आता है?पापा: बेटा, नदी से।बच्चा: पापा, मुझे नदी दिखाने ले चलो।उसके पापा उसे नदी दिखाने ले गए, लेकिन बच्चे ने उन्हेंनदी मे गिरा दिया। फिर बच्चा दौड़कर घर गया, औरममी से बोला, ममी, जल्दी से नल खोलो, पापा आ रहे होंगे। 😀😀
======
अजीब दुनिया का दस्तुर हे …
दोलत चाहे कितनी भी बेइमानी से घर आये ,
पर उसकी पहेरेदारी के लिये ईमानदार शक्स चाहिये ॥🙏🙏🙏
======
यह मंदिर भी क्या गज़ब की जगह है!
यहाँ गरीब बाहर भीख मांगते हैं, और अमीर अन्दर
=======
THIS IS CALLED TRUE LOVE : 
Tantrik : Beta tum par ek chudail ka saya hai 
Boy : Baba, main thappad maar dunga jo meri Biwi ke bare me kuch kaha toh…😡😝👌😄.😄😄😄😄😝😝😝😛
======
दोस्ती की नन्ही सी परिभाषा :--
मैं शब्द हूँ तुम अर्थ
तुम बिन मैं व्यर्थ।
======
दिमाग में विचारों का जितना कम ट्रैफिक होगा, 
जिंदगी का सफर उतना ही आसान होगा।'😊👍
======
 👉 सिखाते है हम बेटियों कोक्योंकि कल उन्हें जाना है पराये घर 
क्यों नहीं सिखाते बेटों को कैसे अपनाना है किसी परायी को अपने घर !!
======

Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:33 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
A cruise ship met with an incident at sea, on the ship was a pair of couple, after having made their way to the lifeboat, they realized that there was only space for one person left. 
At this moment, the man pushed the woman behind him and jumped onto the lifeboat himself.
The lady stood on the sinking ship and shouted one sentence to her husband.
The teacher stopped and asked, "What do you think she shouted?"
Most of the students excitedly answered, "I hate you! I was blind!"
Now, the teacher noticed a boy who was silent throughout, she got him to answer and he replied, "Teacher, I believe she would have shouted - Take care of our child!"
The teacher was surprised, asking "Have you heard this story before?"
The boy shook his head, "Nope, but that was what my mum told my dad before she died to disease".
The teacher lamented, "The answer is right".
The cruise sunk, the man went home and brought up their daughter single-handedly.
Many years later after the death of the man, their daughter found his diary while tidying his belongings.
It turns out that when parents went onto the cruise ship, the mother was already diagnosed with a terminal illness. At the critical moment, the father rushed to the only chance of survival. 
He wrote in his diary, "How I wished to sink to the bottom of the ocean with you, but for the sake of our daughter, I can only let you lie forever below the sea alone".
The story is finished, the class was silent. 
The teacher knows that the student has understood the moral of the story, that of the good and the evil in the world, there are many complications behind them which are hard to understand. 
Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.
Those who like to pay the bill, does so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.
Those who take the initiative at work, does so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.
Those who apologizes first after a fight, does so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.
Those who are willing to help you, does so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.....

Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:38 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
MUST READ!!!!
Diff. Between CA nd B.Com
B.Com:Question: How many balls are there in an over?
Answer: 6
Full Marks

If this were a CA exam question 
The answer would be WRONG and the examiner's comment in the suggested answers would be
"Most of the students answered the questions. However, students have not understood the questions correctly. Answer points to a lack of in-depth understanding and conceptual clarity on the subject. Correct answer is 1 ball which is delivered 6 times, if the umpire(as defined under bye law 19 of Rule 2) did not declare any no ball in all those deliveries. 
In case the umpire, as defined above, declares a No Ball as defined in the Byelaws 24 Rule 3 of the Laws of Cricket (Lords), then there will be an additional ball delivered, using the same ball, for every no ball declared by the umpire. 
Note that such additional balls will not be counted towards the number of balls".
Similarly for a wide ball under Byelaw 25 Rule 3 of the Laws of Cricket (Lords) an additional ball will be delivered for every wide ball declared by the umpire. 
Thus keeping in view the Rules 19, 24 25 of the Laws of Cricket(Lords) the answer is 1 ball. 
However, if the ball used for the said deliveries suffers or undergoes such transformation or such other changes which, the umpire, on an appeal being made by the bowler, deems unfit for use, the ball may be changed/replaced with another one. Only in such a case, will there be use of multiple balls in an over.
(The student may assume that the batsmen did not hit a sixer, thereby forcing the ball to go out of the park causing another ball to be used)''

Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:42 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com


CHAK DE
सुख की खोज----------------ऐ सुख तू कहाँ मिलता हैक्या तेरा कोई स्थायी पता है
क्यों बन बैठा है अन्जानाआखिर क्या है तेरा ठिकाना।
कहाँ कहाँ ढूंढा तुझकोपर तू न कहीं मिला मुझको
ढूंढा ऊँचे मकानों मेंबड़ी बड़ी दुकानों में
स्वादिस्ट पकवानों मेंचोटी के धनवानों में
वो भी तुझको ढूंढ रहे थेबल्कि मुझको ही पूछ रहे थे
क्या आपको कुछ पता हैये सुख आखिर कहाँ रहता है?
मेरे पास तो दुःख का पता थाजो सुबह शाम अक्सर मिलता था
परेशान होके रपट लिखवाईपर ये कोशिश भी काम न आई
उम्र अब ढलान पे हैहौसले थकान पे है
हाँ उसकी तस्वीर है मेरे पासअब भी बची हुई है आस
मैं भी हार नही मानूंगासुख के रहस्य को जानूंगा
बचपन में मिला करता थामेरे साथ रहा करता था
पर जबसे मैं बड़ा हो गयामेरा सुख मुझसे जुदा हो गया।
मैं फिर भी नही हुआ हताशजारी रखी उसकी तलाश
एक दिन जब आवाज ये आईक्या मुझको ढूंढ रहा है भाई
मैं तेरे अन्दर छुपा हुआ हूँतेरे ही घर में बसा हुआ हूँ
मेरा नही है कुछ भी मोलसिक्कों में मुझको न तोल
मैं बच्चों की मुस्कानों में हूँहारमोनियम की तानों में हूँ
पत्नी के साथ चाय पीने मेंपरिवार के संग जीने में
माँ बाप के आशीर्वाद मेंरसोई घर के महाप्रसाद में
बच्चों की सफलता में हूँमाँ की निश्छल ममता में हूँ
हर पल तेरे संग रहता हूँऔर अक्सर तुझसे कहता हूँ
मैं तो हूँ बस एक अहसासबंद कर दे मेरी तलाश
जो मिला उसी में कर संतोषआज को जी ले कल की न सोच
कल के लिए आज को न खोना
मेरे लिए कभी दुखी न होना।मेरे लिए कभी दुखी न होन

Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:47 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
WHY DO COUPLES FIGHT!! 😂💕😂
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.She asked, 'What's on TV?'I said, 'Dust.'And then the fight started....*************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'I bought her a weighing scale.And then the fight started....***************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.So, I took her to a petrol pumpAnd then the fight started....***************************
My wife is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.'I replied, 'Your eyesight's perfect.'And then the fight started....***************************
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation."Somewhere I've not been in a long time."So I took her to the kitchen.And then the fight started....***************************
Dedicated to all married couples.. But don't send to allI sent to my friend. He sent to his wife and then the fight started

Mon Mar 23, 2015 7:52 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com


CHAK DE
======
एक सेब गिरा और न्यूटन ने ग्रेविटी की खोज कर ली..
..यहाँ इंसान हररोज गिरता जा रहा है..
..और कोई मानवता नहीं खोज पा रहा है.. 😯😕😐😟🙇🙇🙇
======
हमारे कत्ल के लीऎ तो मीठी जुबांन ही काफी है.
अजिब शक्स थे वो जो खंजर तलाश रहे थे.
======
जिंदगी से आज तक मैंने कुछ उधार नही लिया,
कफन भी लूँगा तो ''जिंदगी'' देकर... 
======
 At medical store: "Arrey bhaiyya bade dino baad aaye?"
"*beep* toh kya roz roz bimaar padu ab? " 😡
======
तू याद रख, या ना रख... 
तू याद है, ये याद रख....!!
======
 नही थे पैसे एक दिन पीने के लिए तो यूं किया ,.,
डूबोई उनकी तस्वीर पानी में, और घूंट घूंट पी लिया,.,!!!
======
 रिश्ते का नाम जरूरी नहीं होता मेरे दोस्त,
कुछ बेनाम रिश्ते रुकी जिंदगी को साँस देते है...🌹
======
कौन कहता है कि दूरियां किलोमीटरों में नापी जाती हैं।
खुद से मिलने में भी उम्र गुज़र जाती है।
======
सारा जहां मिलता है...!! बस वो नहीं मिलता....!!.जिसमे जहां मिलता है...!!
======
एक आदमी हाथ में I phone 6 लेकर रास्ते से चल रहा था.. 
की पैर फिसल कर वो गिर पडा.. 
तभी कुछ खटाक से टूटने की आवाज़ आई जैसे कुछ तडक गया हो.. !!
दिल थाम कर आदमी बोला.. 
"भगवान् करे हड्डी हो.. " 😝😜😜😂😂
======

Mon Mar 23, 2015 8:02 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
10 One liners about India that are completely true
 
1. If u want to know how divided we r, just look at matrimonial page of our newspapers
 
2. India is running the software of tomorrowon the hardware of yesterday
 
3. Marriages(rest of the world): x+y
Marriages(in India):
 ∫xdx + ∫ydy
 
4. If the mobile gets spoiled blame the child, if child gets spoiled blame the mobile
 
5. If someone asks for dirty cloth to clean something u r in India
 
6. The only country where people fight to be termed 'backward'
 
7. In India, u don't cast ur vote, u vote ur caste
 
8. An incredible country where actors r playing cricket, cricketers r playing politics, politicians r watching porn and porn stars r becoming actors
 
9. Sarcasm is like electricity, half of India doesn't get it
 
10. And the ultimate one:
 
Where liking a Facebook post and sending messages on WhatsApp gets u arrested, while raping does not!!

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Monday, March 23, 2015

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3469

10 Messages

Digest #3469
1
Shayaris, Jokes (22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2
Comparing WC teams with Academics Performance (22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
3
Shayaris, Jokes (22.05.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
4
Harsha Bhogale is one of the best Commentator! (22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
5
I am sharing someone's wonderful experience (22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
6
Advice from a CA:  (22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
7
A beautiful STORY...(22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
8
Mishraji - (22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
9
I've learned ...(22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
10
Jokes, Shayaris, Quote (22.03.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:24 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com


CHAK DE
======
 Wife : Poora dinn cricket - cricket, Main ghar chhod kar ja rahi hun.
Husband :Aur ye Kadmo ka behtarin upyog..
======
बड़ी चालाक होती है जिंदगी हमारी,
रोज़ नया कल देकर, उम्र छीनती रहती है...!!
======
वो अपने ख़ामोशी की अदा से ही घायल कर गए
और 
हम अल्फाजों के गठरी लिए बैठे रह गए
======
ले आओ कहीं से मोह़ब्बत के 'हकीम' को...
मेरे ग्रुप में तो,सिर्फ ईश्क़ के मरीज है...😜😀😃
======
कब पूरा होगा ये इश्क़ का कर्ज ,
रोज आँसु का हफ्ता दे रहा हूँ मै ।
======
 लम्हे बेचकर, पैसे तो आ गये ..
अब बताओ...
किस दुकान पे ख़ुशी मिलेगी...!!😊
======
No father has ever explained the importance of Studies in such a awesome way to his son... 
"'With every wrong answer that you write in your exam paper ... your future honeymoon shifts from Switzerland to goa to saputara to Mehsana water park 😂😂😂
======
During a heart transplant.Doctor: OMGNurse: what happened.D: My mobile network is gone.N: So?D: I don't know what to do next.N: Why............D: I'm from IIN.Nurse behosh...😂😝😜
======
हम दोनों ही डरते थे इक दूसरे से बात करने के लिए,
मुझे मोहब्बत हो गयी थी इसलिए औरउसे मोहब्बत ना हो जाये इसलिए
======

Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:25 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
Comparing WC teams with Academics Performance
India == An unpredictable student who either tops or fails miserably and has a rich daddy. Even if he fails the mother covers up by saying 'Atleast he has better marks than his other classmate called Pakistan'
South Africa == A student who tops in units and semesters, but fails in the final exams
Pakistan == A student who has the potential of being a topper but spends most of his time fighting and even beating other schoolmates. Either blames the teacher, paper quality of the exam paper, or fellow classmate (India) for his non-performance
England == A rare case where the teacher is still a student who has never cleared a final exam
West Indies == A student who was a topper till 5th grade but currently fails in every exams. Has a tendency of not preparing for the final exams and also leaving midway from the examination hall
New Zealand == A student who always scores a distinction but never tops the class
Australia == A student who is always a topper and the biggest bully of the school
Sri Lanka == A student who suddenly became a potential topper after 5th grade-- 

Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:26 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
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KAMINE DOST :
A broken lover's emotional status on Facebook:
"Agar wo meri nahi huyi to kisi aur ki bhi nahi hone doonga...!"
Friend's Comment: "Agar wo teri ho gayi to sab ki hone dega kya..??!"😂😂😂😂
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सीना तानेएक दोस्त उपदेश ठोक रहा था…
लोहा लोहे को काटता हैहीरा हीरे को…
इसी बीच पीछे से आकरउसे कुत्ते ने काट लिया...😜 🐶 😝
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Husband was shocked 😳😱to read wife's 👧Old school report card 📑… 
The comment written ......Very obedient andSoft Spoken student 😂😂
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Difference between "Facebook"; and "Whatsapp"; conversation :
On "Whatsapp"; - Wife : Kab se wait kar rahi hoon. Ghar kab aa rahe ho?
Husband : Abhi kuchh pataa nahi. Dimaag mat chaato. Jab dekho pareshaan karti rehti ho.
On "FaceBook"; -Wife : Dear when will you be back? You are the best husband in the world. Miss you. Come back soon.(Status liked by 50 of her friends)
Husband : Thanks for being there always. So lucky to have a wonderful wife like you. Will be back soon honey. (Status liked by 75 friends, including sister-in-law & mother-in-law)😝😝😝
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 सँभलकर कर चलते रहे उम्र भर अनजानी राहों पर 
पैर लड़खड़ाए वहीं जहाँ राहें जानी पहचानी थी.
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A man takes photograph of his wife and
 calls himself a Wildlife photographer😋
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देखेंगे अब जिंदगी चित होगी या पट......
हम किस्मत का सिक्का उछाल बैठे हैं....!

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आदमी: भगवान जब मैं मरने को आऊंगा तब मुझे पांच मिनट देना।
भगवान: क्यों?
आदमी: मोबाइल फॉर्मेट करने के लिए, वरना मरने के बाद इज़्ज़त की वाट लग जायेगी ।😛😝😜
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Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:49 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
Harsha Bhogale is one of the best Commentator! 
Geoffrey Boycott once said Sachin may be a great batsman but he never got his name at the Lord's honours boards.Reply by Harsha – "So whose loss it is, Sachin's or honors of board?"
Explaining how Cheteshwar Pujara is a fine Test player but the T20 format doesn't suit himHarsha – "Pujara is classical musician in the era of Yo Yo Honey Singh"
After Dhoni sent a Mitchell Starc's slow delivery to the boundaryHarsha – "He had all the time in the world, he could have read a newspaper"
About Rahul Dravid's devastating form.Harsha – "Ask him to walk on water and he will ask, how many Kilometers?"
About Glenn Maxwell's batting…Harsha – " He just loves storm through, I guess if he had a car, he would probably start it in 4th gear"
When Michael Clarke got caught at slip but was still waiting for the umpire's decision.Harsha – "I think he is waiting for tomorrow's newspaper to declare him out"
Dhoni was cracking one shot after another until Sachin got on strike and he also caressed a delivery towards covers.Harsha – "We have surgeon at one end and a butcher at the other"
After Dhoni lost the toss yet again…Harsha – "Dhoni again called for heads to the coin which has two tails"
While co-commentating with Rahul Dravid in a Test match that India was losing to England.Harsha – "The only man who can save this match is the man sitting besides me"
After a diving Kieron Pollard could not take a catch…Harsha – "If Pollard can't reach it then it's not a catch"
About Ashwin's slow running between the wickets.Harsha – "Dhoni is extremely quick between wickets and Ashwin… let's just say he has other skills"
On 'how tough it must be to be Sachin…'Harsha – "One of the problem u face being Tendulkar is that ur always compared with Tendulkar"

Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:49 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
I am sharing someone's wonderful experience, he recently had in Singapore. 
I was invited to one Friday evening event by one of MNC Vendor organization who had organized the event to raise funds for the visually handicapped people in a center for blind people.
As usual, since it was a Friday evening, I first thought to skip the event considering it could be a bit boring and rather spend the evening relaxing by some other means.
But being alone and sometimes finding it difficult to kill time, I thought to accept the invitation and registered on line for booking.
Moreover it was free :) which was another motivation to go to the event.
I was looking at the event to pass some time, meet few people and nothing else.
When I went there, there were approx 40 people from various industries invited for that event. I found some Indians and naturally talked to them about how life is in Singapore etc etc. Initially we were shown a video about the visually handicapped center. What are their activities, how are they helping blind people in Singapore to lead a more fulfilling life, etc . It was a short 15 minute video and quite inspiring that how people from different walks of life spend time in helping these blind people without expecting anything in return.
They shared the satisfaction and fulfilment they get by helping them.
After the video, we all were gathered in a hall and were briefed about next event. The theme of the next event was "Dining in the Dark".
And this is the event which turned out to be inspiring and worth sharing.
What is meant was that we all 40+ people were going to have Dinner in a pitch Dark room !!!! The next 2 hours were completely planned, organized , directed and executed by three blind youths.
One was a girl ( Leader ) and other two boys were assistant to her forming a team of three blind volunteers.
The blind leader first gave us tips for dining (These were ACTUAL STANDARDS THE BLIND PEOPLE FOLLOW IN ORDER TO MAKE THEIR LIFE EASIER)
1. When you sit at your table the things will be placed as follows :at 3 o clock of your dish : You will find a spoon.at 9 o clock : Fork; 12 o clock : spoon. 2 o clock : Empty Glass Dish at the center with Paper napkin tucked at 6 o clock. 
2. There will be two large Jugs circulated to you. The Jug with plain walls will have water and the Jug with curved wall will have orange juice.
3. When you get your Jug based on your choice you have to pour it in your glass. You have to dip your forefinger in the glass so that when you fill it and the liquid touches your finger, you have to stop pouring.
She asked whether everyone has understood.
All said yes but everyone was confused and trying to remember what she said and confirming with each other. Next 1 1/2 hours we spent were full of fun and learning. In completely pitch dark room where we could not see ANYTHING we were enjoying various delicious food without seeing it.
We all 40 people were taken in groups in the dark hall.
Each one was directed by blind person till he/she sits on a chair (We were finding it awkward because actually we are supposed to guide blind people to their destination and help them).
We were Served full five course dinner by this team of three blind people-Welcome drinks, appetizers, starters , main course and desserts.
The amazing thing was that the team of three blind people were serving exactly vegetarian dishes to vegetarian people who were sitting randomly in the room!
While registering on line we were asked question to choose from "Vegetarian" or "Non vegetarian". I obviously chose Vegetarian, being one. We were so nicely hosted that we did not have to wait in between serves . As we were ending finishing one dish, we were served with next without any delays.
After approx 1 and half hours of Dining in the dark , the leader asked whether everyone has finished eating. After confirmation she switched on the lights of the dining room.
We left the Dining room with tears in our eyes.
We realized how lucky we are and how we have been gifted with beautiful eyes to see the beautiful world. We realized how difficult lives of blind people are ( and other handicapped) without being able to see.
We realized how uncomfortable we were for just two hours without being able to see anything and how they must be living their lives.
We realized how unfortunate we are , that we do not value such simple things in life we have and cry (sometime louder, sometime within ourselves) and run after what we don't have... for whole of our lives without having time to adore for the things we have.Be cheerful.
Adore whatever you have in life.
You may try for whatever you don't have but never feel sad about it.

Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:50 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
Advice from a CA: 
Dear All,
Wanted to highlight one very important aspect.
 In ordinary course we keep issuing and submitting our KYC documents (identity and residential proofs..such as PAN card, electricity bill etc.) to various people. 
For housing or car or other loans, bank accounts,or even for buying new sim card we submit these documents.
 At almost all these places they ask for self certification on these documents. We immediately sign those documents and hand over.
 Just imagine your self certified copies are freely available in the hands of such persons & those documents can be used by him for EVERYTHING! 
Its really serious and its been seen that in most of the terrorist activities, KYC documents are sourced from the SIM card sellers. 
Hence, please inculcate a habit of writting the purpose for which you are submitting the self certified KYC Documents so that those documents cannot be used again. 
Please share this as much as possible.

Sun Mar 22, 2015 5:58 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
A beautiful STORY...
A mechanic was removing the engine parts from a motorcycle when he saw a famous heart surgeon in his shop... He went to him & said.. "Look at this engine... I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired and put them back"...So why do I get such a small salary? and u get huge sums....! The doctor smiled at the mechanic and came close to his ear and said.... "Try the same when the engine is running."
👌👏 classic!
.Continuation.Engineer. Revenge.....The Mechanic smiled back came close to doctors ear and said I can pick any dead engine and make it alive . . . . . . . But can you ???
👌👏 Not only classic but Epic 😂😂👍

Sun Mar 22, 2015 6:40 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
Mishraji Interview Ke Liye Gaye.
Naukri Already Boss Ke Saale Ko Mil Chuki Thee.
Par Formality Ke Liye Interview Jaroori Tha.
Isliye Aise Sawaal Pucche Ja Rahe The Jinka Koi Matlab Nahi Tha.
Mishraji Ki Bari Aayi.
Interviewer : Aap Nadi Ke Beech Ek Boat Par Ho, Aur Apke Paas do Cigarettes Ke Alawa Kuch Bhi Nahi Hai.Apko ek cigarette Jallana Hai. ? Kaise Jalaoge ?
Mishraji Very Serious.Sir Iske teen-char Solutions Ho Sakte Hai...
Interviewer Shocked Lekin Kahaan... Batao!!!
Mishraji Ke Out Of The World Answers: Take one cigarette and throw it in the Water. So the boat will becomeLIGHTER…… using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette
Interviewer:- Kya Bakwas Hai...
Mishraji's another deadly solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
Interviewer:-Stupid
Mishraji:- Sir one more Solution….Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop…(TIP – TIP)
Interviewer:- Abey Gadhe Usse Kya hoga..

Mishraji:- Sir Aapne Wo Gaana Nahin Suna"TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee." us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee"
Mishraji - Sir If that was not enough, i have one more solution…..Start praising one cigarette,The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"
Interviewer Impressed :- Saale ko maaro goli, naukri Mishra ji ko hee de do.
Mishra ji can sell anything...😂😂

Sun Mar 22, 2015 6:46 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
If you will take the time to read these. I promise you'll come away with an enlightened perspective. The subjects covered affect us all, on a daily basis:
They're written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words.......... Enjoy.........

I've learned ...That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned .... That when you're in love, it shows. 
I've learned .... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned .... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned .... That being kind is more important than being right. 
I've learned .... That you should never say no to a gift from a child. 
I've learned .... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. 
I've learned .... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with. 
I've learned .... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned .... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned .... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned .... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned .... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned .... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned .... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned .... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts. 
I've learned .... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned .... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned .... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned .... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile..
I've learned .... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them. 
I've learned ... That life is tough, but I'm tougher. 
I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned .... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned .... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned ..... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned ..... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned .... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it. 
I've learned .... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.READ AGAIN IF YOU FEEL IT MAKES SENSE 😊

Sun Mar 22, 2015 7:21 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com


CHAK DE
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कुछ लोग तो इतने गरीब होते है, कि 
उनके पास सिर्फ पैसे ही होते है..!!
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Two new words hv been proposed to be included in oxford dictionary
1. Gumshuda- (n)- state of being physically lost.
2. Shadishuda (n)- state of being physically, mentally and financially lost 😜
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You will go mad laughing ....
A Tata Nano breaks down on a roadside.
A man in a BMW 750Li stops to help Nano driver.
"I will tow u to d next service station, but if I drive too fast please flash ur head-lights"
They start up slowly but only a km or so down d line a sporty Porsche car speeds past at 150km/hr.
BMW driver's ego hurt, 
He totally forgets about little Nano towed behind & races after the Porsche.
Just as all 3 of them fly & tear through a speed trap,
the traffic cop radios his HeadQuarters:
"Calling all stations :: u won't just believe this what I just saw a BMW & a Porsche racing past at about 195km/hr, with a Tata-Nano right behind & madly flashing its lights to Overtake them..😅😅😆😆😁😁Good day!!

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आदमी को औरत की ताकत का अंदाजा उसी वक्त लगा लेना चाहिए, 
जब वो उसे लेने के लिए पूरी बारात लेकर जाता है 
और वो शेरनी उधर से अकेली चली आती है।😅😅😅
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वेसे तो मेरी कोई G.F नही है..
लेकिन जब शायरी लिखता हूँ

तो ऐसा लगता है जेसे 
5-6 छोड़कर चली गयी हो...😂😜
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आजकल सबसे ज़्यादा डर किससे लगता है ?
whatsapp में नये join होने वाले member से ....
सारे OLD message, video, audio repeat करता है और साथ में बोलता है 
जल्दी forward करो , मार्केट में नया है. 
अब उसको कौन समझाए कि नया तो भाई तू है.
 हम तो यहां पर PHD कर रहे हैं। 😜😂😝😉
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Call from bank to a Girl:_
Bank: hello madam you want credit card..
Girl: No thanks I have a boyfriend. 😂😜💸💰
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ले दे के अपने पास फ़क़त एक नज़र तो है...
क्यू देखे ज़िन्दगी को 'किसी' की नज़र से हम..!!
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मेरी हर आह को वाह मिली है यहाँ,,
कौन कहता है दर्द बिकता नहीं है..!!
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सिर्फ दिल का हक़दार बनाया था तुम्हें,,
हद हो गयी तुमने तो जान भी ले ली..!!❤❤
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भारत में लोग इतने टैलेंटेड होते है
के......गाड़ी हिला के बता देते हैगाड़ी में पेट्रोल कितना है
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