An older lady gets pulled over for speeding .....
Older Woman:  Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer:  Ma'am, you were speeding.
 Older Woman:  Oh, I see.
Officer:  Can I see your license please?
Older Woman:  I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer:  Don't have one?
Older Woman:  Lost it ... 4 years ago for drunk driving.
 
Officer:  I see ... can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman:  I can't do that.
Officer:  Why not?
Older Woman:  I stole this car.
Officer:  Stole it?
Older Woman:  Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
 
Officer:  You what?
Older Woman:  His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The  Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls  for back up.  Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.  A senior  officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Senior Officer:  Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!  The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman:  Is there a problem sir?
 
Senior Officer:  One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman:  Murdered the owner?
Senior Officer:  Yes ... could you please open the trunk of your car.
 
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Senior Officer:  Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman:  Yes, here are the registration papers.  The officer is quite stunned.
Senior Officer:  One of my officers claims that you do not have a driver's license.
 
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license.  He looks quite puzzled.
Senior  Officer:  Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a  license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up  the owner.
Older Woman:  Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
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Monday, July 25, 2011
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