Thursday, January 15, 2015

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3444

5 Messages

Digest #3444
1
The Rickshaw Business(Mumbai)- by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2
Shyaris, Quote (14.01.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
3
5 more minutes.. by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
4
Jokes, Shayaris (14.01.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
5
Shayaris, Jokes, Quote (14.01.15) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:28 am (PST) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
The Rickshaw Business(Mumbai)
It is the only profession where you can loot the common man upfront and common man cannot do any thing. Here are some of my observations.

1. They run on CNG gas and thier meter works as per Petrol price- WHY?

2. They want to increase the meter price immediately if there is an increase in the petrol price even by 50 paise, but today the petrol price has reduced by more than Rs.10, but there is no information on the reduction of Rickshaw Meter-WHY?

3. Even after we are ready to pay thier price, it is upto the rickshaw wala whether to accept the passengers drop destination-Why?

4. Rickshaw meters are tampered,even the new electronic meters- there is no random check if the meter works as per government standards.

5. If the rickshaw driver fills his CNG tank in the morning at 9 am which would cost him not more than Rs.150, he can use the same till evening 7 pm and he can make than Rs.800 to 1200 per day. 

What do I do when I travel in Rickshaw:

I start a conversation by praising the rickshaw and its great condition, even though it is not. Then I ask him Bhaiyaji, this new electronic meter is helpful or not, and listen to his crap. Most of them will be dissatisfied with the new meter. Then I tell them why are you guys unhappy, the customers are the ones who are suffering. You guys are using CNG and your meter is running on Petrol rate. Try this, the look on the drivers face will amaze you. 

Please note: Do not try this when traveling alone or at night.

We need a change on this system. Lets start a movement and share it with our new government. share it with your friends, ask the rickshaw fellows every time you travel in a rickshaw, why is your meter on petrol price.

From an Awake Mumbaikar

Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:28 am (PST) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com


CHAK DE
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वो किताबों में दर्ज था ही नही,...
जो पढ़ाया सबक जमाने ने...!!!
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There Are Seven Days In A Week,
And SOMEDAY Isn't One Of Them . . . .
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Kaun kitni uchaiyo pe hai agar dekhna ho, To,Unke pairo k chale dekh lo....
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इतनी ठोकरे देने के लिए शुक्रिया, ए-ज़िन्दगी..
चलने का न सही,,, सम्भलने का हुनर तो आ गया.
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"फिर वही दिल की गुज़ारिश,फिर वही उनका ग़ुरूर,
फिर वही उनकी शरारत , फिर वही मेरा कुसूर....!
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Agar neend aa jaaye toh so bhi liyaa karo….
raaton ko jagney se mohabbat lota nahin karti…
======
At a wedding reception the D.J. Announced.....
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living after marriage?"
The Bartender was almost crushed to death.😅😅
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शतरंज का खेल हम खेलते नहीं...

क्यूंकि 🌟
दुश्मनों को हम अपने सामने बैठाते नहीं,🌟
और दोस्तों के साथ चाल चलना हमे आता नहीं...🌟🌟🌟
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आज अजीब किस्सा देखा हमने खुदकुशी का,,
एक शख्स ने ज़िन्दगी से तंग आकर..मुहब्बत कर ली..!!
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ज़मीर" बेचने वालो से दोस्ती ना हुई....
वरना शाम तक "अमीर" हो जाते....
======

Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:28 am (PST) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
5 more minutes..
A woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground at West Coast park one fine Sunday Morning.

"That's my son over there" she said, pointing to a little boy in a red T-shirt who was gliding down the slide.

"He's a fine looking boy," the man said. "That's my son on the swing in the blue T-shirt." 

Then, looking at his watch, he called to his son.

"What do you say we go, Jack?" 

Jack pleaded, "Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes." 
The man nodded and Jack continued to swing to his heart's content.

Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his son. "Time to go now?"

Again Jack pleaded, "Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes."
The man smiled and said, "O.K."

"My! You certainly are a patient father," the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, "My older son John was killed by a drunk driver last year, while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with John and now I'd give anything for just five more minutes with him. I've vowed not to make the same mistake with Jack. He thinks he has five more minutes to swing. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch him play."

Life is not a race.
Life is all about making Priorities.
What are your priorities?

Give someone you love, FIVE more minutes of your time, no matter how busy you are and you will have no regret forever.
Once you have lost it, it shall be lost FOREVER.... 

Life can only be understood backwards; But it must be Lived forwards.

LIVE LIFE BEFORE YOU LEAVE LIFE...
FIVE More Minutes ⏳⌛

Wed Jan 14, 2015 5:28 am (PST) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE
======
Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff.
But then the teacher realised that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?'
''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story aboutmy Mom.She was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail outover enemy territory and all she had wasa flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. 
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story ?
"Stay away from Mommy when she's drunk......!!!!"😜😂😂😂😝😜😝😉☺😊😳😂😂

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छोटा बनके रहेगा तो मिलेगी हर बड़ी रहमत
बड़ा होने पर तो माँ भी गोद से उतार देती है...
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आइना सिर्फ जखम दिखा सकता हे,
जखम का दर्द बया नहीं कर सकता..!!
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लोग भुला देते हैंसदियों की मोहब्ब्त
हम तो खैर बस एक मोड़ पे मिले थे

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आँखों से इश्क के इशारे होते है
अखबार में
कोई मोहब्बत का इश्तिहार नहीं आताl
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पूछता है जब कोई कि मुहब्बत बची है अब कहाँ,……………मुस्कुरा देता हूँ मैं और याद आ जाती है माँ,
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Wife (after a fight) 😡 - tell me those 3 magical words. .
Husband - galti meri thi😆😆😜😜😂😂
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Prize winning message of the year-.A guy asked a girl in a library, "Doyou mind if I sit beside you?"The girl answered with a loud voice, "IDO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHTWITH YOUUU!!!!!"All of the students in the librarystarted staring at the guy. He wasvery embarrassed.After a couple of minutes, the girlwalked quietly to the guy's table andtold him, "I study psychology and Iknow what a man is thinking. Let meguess, you were embarrassed, huh?"The guy responded with a loud voice,"200 DOLLARS FOR ONE NIGHT?!?!?!THAT'S TOO MUCH!!!"…and all the people in the librarylooked at the girl in shock. The guyleaned over and whispered, "I studyManagement, and I know how to screw people

Don't Laugh alone .... Share with friendz!
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रिश्ते वाले: "जी लड़की ने क्या किया हुआ है??"..
.घरवाले: "जी इसने नाक में दम किया हुआ है, इसे ले जाएँ बस...."😜😂😂😂
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They Hate it When U Ask Their Age..
But They Will Kill U if U Forget their Birthday..
Guess Who ???😜😆
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Interesting slogan behind a rickshaw
I couldn't afford Volkswagen. Thus, auto. 😝
======

Wed Jan 14, 2015 6:05 am (PST) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com


CHAK DE
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 लोग पढ़ लेते है मेरे दिल की बात,
अब मुझ से तेरे गमो की हिफाज़त नहीं होती।
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बचपन मेँ क्लास की डेस्क पर कंपास से तेरा नाम लिखा था...
आज तक दिल मेँ उसकी खरोच बाकी है..
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..माँ-पापा पर एक बेहतरीन रचना !...
जिसकी कोख से जन्म होता : वह माँजिसके पेट पर खेलने में मजा आता : वह पिता !
जो धारण करती : वह माँजो सिंचन करता : वह पिता !

जो गोद में लेकर सहलाती : वह माँजो हाथों में धर कर ऊंचा उठाता : वह पिता!
जो उंगली पकड़कर चलना सिखाती: वह माँजो कंधों पर लेकर दौड़ना सिखाता : वह पिता!
जो डूब-डूब गगरी करती: वह माँजो हर-हर गंगे करता : वह पिता!
जो आँचल तले दबाती: वह माँजो पिंजड़े से बाहर निकालता : वह पिता!
जो व्याकुल होती : वह माँजो संयम सिखाता : वह पिता!
जो आशीर्वचन जैसी: वह माँजो नमस्कार तुल्य : वह पिता!
जिसके सिवा जीवन नहीं : वह माँजिसके सिवा भविष्य नहीं: वह पिता!!...
======‪अतर से कपड़ों को महकाना बड़ी बात नहीं,

मज़ा तो तब है जब किरदार से खुशबु आये..l
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आज सुबह के न्यूज़ पेपर में मुझे एक पेम्फलेट मिला जिसमे लिखा था - 
"क्या आप शराबी हैं? तुरंत हमें काल करें, हम आपकी मदद कर सकते हैं " 
मेरी बीबी पीछे पड़ गयी के तुरंत काल करके बात करो । 
मैंने काल किया । ........... 
वो एक शराब दुकान का आफर था - 
"दो बोतल के साथ एक बोतल फ्री" 
मेरे तो ख़ुशी के आंसू निकल गये ।
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मंगलसूत्र खींचने वाले को ३ साल की कैद‌, 
मंगलसूत्र पहनाने वाले को उम्रकैद
घोर अन्याय!!! 
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दहेज़ में बहु क्या लायी...ये सबने पूछा... 
लेकिन एक बेटी क्या क्या छोड़ आई...किसी ने सोचा ही नहीं...
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यदि कबीर जिन्दा होते तो आजकल के दोहे यह होते :-
🔹बचे कहाँ अब शेष हैं, दया, धरम, ईमान !
पत्थर के भगवान हैं, पत्थर दिल इंसान !!
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तेवर और जेवर......सम्भाल के रखने की चीज है,यूँ बात बात में हर किसी को दिखाए नहीं जाते !!
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ईस व्हाट्सअँप के चक्कर में दिमाग के नट बोल्ट ढीले हो गये हैं.. 

एक सेकंड में मिजाज़ शायराना हो जाता है और अगले ही सेकंड में देश भक्ति जाग ऊठती हैं. 
ऊसके फौरन बाद सनी लिओनी आकर मूड एक्टिवेट करती है... 
तभी अचानक कोई ग्यानी भगवान बुद्ध और विवेकानन्द की चार लाईने भेजकर मुड का सत्यानाश करता है.
ऊसके बाद कोई दुखी आत्मा बिवीयों पर जोक भेजकर अपनी मर्दानगी साबित करने की कोशिश करता है।
और जब थोड़ा सकुन मिलने का समय आने ही वाला होता है, तब एक डरावना फारवर्ड साई के नामसे आता है कि ईसे दस लोगों को भेजो तो लाटरी लगेगी वर्ना सत्यानाश होगा।
इसके बाद दिमाग का दहीबड़ा तब होता है जब कोई क्विज ले के आता है। 
मनुष्य का इतने तेजी से ह्रदय परिवर्तन तो सिर्फ व्हाट्सअँप पर ही हो सकता है।😀
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