3 Messages
Digest #3408
Messages
Sat May 24, 2014 7:11 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
=======
Wife (on phone)Suniye ji, window khul nahi rahi hai.
Husband- Aisa karo
thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do.
Wife- Kya usese kaam ho jayega.
Husband- Try to karo.
After 15 mins , husband calls wife.
Husband- Tumne try kiya??
Wife- Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi band ho gaya!!!
=======
What is "GENERATION GAP"?
**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!
=======
"Is kadar bebas nahin zindagi
Koshish jeene ki to karo yaaron
Beh jaayenge gham saare aansu ban kar
Koshish inhein peene ki to karo yaaron"
=======
Chhat tapkti hai uske...kacche ghar ki....!
Wo Kissan fir bhi... Barish ki dua karta hai...
=======
Ye bhi ek tamasha hai bazar-e-ulfat me galib....
Dil kisi ka hota hai aur bas kisi ka chalta hai...
=======
"Reh rehkar unki yaad aaye to kya kare,
Unki yaad dil se na jaye to kya kare,
socha tha khwab me mulakaat hogi unse,
isi khushi me neend na aaye to kya kare!"
=======
WoMen never listen properly:-
Wife: I lost my keys again !
Husband: It's in your Jeans.
Wife: Don't drag my family into this....
=======
Here is a list of things you need to teach your child(ren) at early age:
1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation includinguncles.
2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.
3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'
4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to findout what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.
5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your childbecomes too fond of a particular adult.
6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patientlyask lots of questions from your child.
7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If youdon't, the society will teach them the wrong values.
8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.
10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and thatincludes you (remember, charity begins from homeand with you).
11: Blacklist some materials/associate
12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of thecrowd.
13: Once your child complains about aparticular person, don't keep quiet about it. Takeup the case and show them you can defend them.
Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.
"We Cares for your Child..."
=======
आज सिर उठा के वही चलता है
जिसके पास Smart Phone नहीं है...
=======
महसूस जब हो कि सारा शहर, आपसे ज़लने लगा है,
समझ लेना आपका नाम भी , चलने लगा है !!...
=======
Yaadon ko awaaz na dena..
Jeena mushkil kar deti hain
=======
Kabhi hum tutey toh kabhi khwaab tutey,
Na jane kitne tukado mein armaan tutey,
Har tukda aayina hai zindagi ka,
Har aayine ke saath laakhon jazbaat tutey.
=======
Ae dil tu dhadak par itna to soch zara,
teri pasand aur hai mere halaat aur hai.
=======
कौन कहता है जैसा "संग वैसा रंग"
इंसान लोमड़ी के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'शातिर' है...
इंसान शेर के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'क्रूर' है...!!!
=======
"एक एक कर इतनी कमियां निकाली लोगों ने मुझमें,
की अब बस "खुबियां" ही रह गयी हैं मुझमें........!
=======
A Serious Statement written outside a Women shoe shop
. . . . . .
50% Discount if you select in 2min
=======
Height of hygiene...??
An architect washing his hands with dettol
after making a drawing of a toilet..
=======
Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain,
kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Wife : (after few seconds silence).... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha...
=======
Sent from Samsung Mobile
Sat May 24, 2014 7:14 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"rahul kashyap"
Hi
On May 16, 2014 5:58 PM, "AHIR RAJ ahir.raj123@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes]" <
Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
>
>
> Nice Dear Friendssssssssssss.................................
> On Saturday, 22 March 2014 8:02 PM, Vinit Singh <vinit_oct@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
> excellent joke
>
>
> On Friday, March 21, 2014 3:24 AM, Mahesh Popat <mahesh_popat@ymail.com>
> wrote:
>
>
> CHAK DE
>
> ------------------
>
> सास ने अपने फौजी दामाद को ख़त लिखा
>
> "मेरी बेटी को तन्हा छोड़ कर तुम सरहद में मौज मस्ती कर रहे हो,
>
> शराफत से मेरी बेटी के पास आ जाओ.. कोई भी बहाना बनाकर छुट्टी ले लो"
> .
> फौजी दामाद ने सास को एक हैण्ड ग्रेनेड बम के साथ ख़त भेजा जिसमे लिखा था
>
> "प्यारी सासू माँ,
>
> अगर आप इसकी पिन खीच ले तो मुझे 3 दिन की छुट्टी मिल जाएगी.."
>
> ---------------------
>
> A Month before Exams, we prefer the books of
> Foreign Authors
>
> .
>
> .
>
> A Week before Exams, we prefer the books of
> Local Authors
>
> .
>
> .
>
> A day before Exam,
> trying to read
> Our Own Notes
>
> .
>
> .
>
> On the day of Exam,
>
> .
>
> .
>
> We become
> Authors.
> .
> .
>
> "Yaar!
> Tu bass Heading bata baaqi Main khud likh lunga."
>
> --------------
>
> Xcelent Shayri:
>
> MAA k aanchal me sone ka sukh, agli generation nahi le payegi...
> .
> .
> Kyu ki
> .
> SHORTS pehenne wali
> MAA, aanchal kaha se layegi.
>
> ----------------
>
> Wife :-
> Kuch Saal Pehle Mera Figure
> PEPSI ki Bottal ki tarah tha !!!
>
> Husband :-
> Wo to Ab b hai !!!
>
> Wife :- sach ???
>
> Husband :-
> Pehle Bottle 300ML ki thi
> Ab
> 2-Litre ki hai ..
>
> ------------------
>
> Mohabbat aur Maut dono ki pasand bhi nirali hai,
>
> ek ko Dil chahiye aur dusre ko Dhadkan..
>
> ------------------
>
> वो दुआएँ काश मैंने दीवारों से मांगीं होतीं
>
> ए खुदा, सुना है की उनके तो कान होते हैं
>
> ---------------------
>
> Koi Aankho-Aankho Se Baat Kar Leta Hai..
>
> Koi Aankho-Aankho Mein Mulakaat Kar Leta Hai…
>
> Bada Mushqil Hota Hai Jawaab Dena,
>
> Jab Koi Khaamosh Rehkar bhi Sawaal Kar Leta Hai…
>
> -------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
On May 16, 2014 5:58 PM, "AHIR RAJ ahir.raj123@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes]" <
Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
>
>
> Nice Dear Friendssssssssssss.................................
> On Saturday, 22 March 2014 8:02 PM, Vinit Singh <vinit_oct@yahoo.com>
> wrote:
>
> excellent joke
>
>
> On Friday, March 21, 2014 3:24 AM, Mahesh Popat <mahesh_popat@ymail.com>
> wrote:
>
>
> CHAK DE
>
> ------------
>
> सास ने अपने फौजी दामाद को ख़त लिखा
>
> "मेरी बेटी को तन्हा छोड़ कर तुम सरहद में मौज मस्ती कर रहे हो,
>
> शराफत से मेरी बेटी के पास आ जाओ.. कोई भी बहाना बनाकर छुट्टी ले लो"
> .
> फौजी दामाद ने सास को एक हैण्ड ग्रेनेड बम के साथ ख़त भेजा जिसमे लिखा था
>
> "प्यारी सासू माँ,
>
> अगर आप इसकी पिन खीच ले तो मुझे 3 दिन की छुट्टी मिल जाएगी.."
>
> ------------
>
> A Month before Exams, we prefer the books of
> Foreign Authors
>
> .
>
> .
>
> A Week before Exams, we prefer the books of
> Local Authors
>
> .
>
> .
>
> A day before Exam,
> trying to read
> Our Own Notes
>
> .
>
> .
>
> On the day of Exam,
>
> .
>
> .
>
> We become
> Authors.
> .
> .
>
> "Yaar!
> Tu bass Heading bata baaqi Main khud likh lunga."
>
> ------------
>
> Xcelent Shayri:
>
> MAA k aanchal me sone ka sukh, agli generation nahi le payegi...
> .
> .
> Kyu ki
> .
> SHORTS pehenne wali
> MAA, aanchal kaha se layegi.
>
> ------------
>
> Wife :-
> Kuch Saal Pehle Mera Figure
> PEPSI ki Bottal ki tarah tha !!!
>
> Husband :-
> Wo to Ab b hai !!!
>
> Wife :- sach ???
>
> Husband :-
> Pehle Bottle 300ML ki thi
> Ab
> 2-Litre ki hai ..
>
> ------------
>
> Mohabbat aur Maut dono ki pasand bhi nirali hai,
>
> ek ko Dil chahiye aur dusre ko Dhadkan..
>
> ------------
>
> वो दुआएँ काश मैंने दीवारों से मांगीं होतीं
>
> ए खुदा, सुना है की उनके तो कान होते हैं
>
> ------------
>
> Koi Aankho-Aankho Se Baat Kar Leta Hai..
>
> Koi Aankho-Aankho Mein Mulakaat Kar Leta Hai…
>
> Bada Mushqil Hota Hai Jawaab Dena,
>
> Jab Koi Khaamosh Rehkar bhi Sawaal Kar Leta Hai…
>
> ------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
Sat May 24, 2014 7:14 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"rahul kashyap"
Hi aur m karo
On May 16, 2014 5:54 PM, "Jagat jsheth6@yahoo.com [Hindi_Jokes]" <
Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
>
>
> Excellent -
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On May 4, 2014, at 4:17 AM, Mahesh Popat <mahesh_popat@ymail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> CHAK DE
>
> =======
>
> यादें पीछे ले जाती हैं,
>
> लेकिन ज़िन्दगी सिर्फ आगे जाती है!
>
> =======
>
> मुझे नींद की इजाज़त भी उसकी यादों से लेनी पड़ती है......!
>
> जो खुद तो सो जाता है, मुझे करवटों में छोड़ कर..................!!
>
> =======
>
> Girl ordered a pizza Waiter: Mam should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8
>
> Girl: 4 hee kar de, 8 khaaungi to Moti ho jaungi...
>
> =======
>
> "If you don't STAND for SOMETHING,
>
> how can anyone RESPECT what you DO?"
>
> =======
>
> Opportunities Are Equal For All, But The Difference Is That
>
> +positive Person Gives RESULTS and negative Person Gives REASONS.
>
> =======
>
> Judge: Do you want to Stay with your Mom?
>
> Child: No. She Beats me.
>
> Judge: Then do you want to Stay with your Dad?
>
> Child: No,He also Beats me.
>
> Judge: Than how about your Grandparents or Uncle?
>
> Child: No, they also Beat me.
>
> Judge: Ok. So tell with who you want to Stay ?
>
> Child: I want to Stay with "Mumbai Indians"
>
> They Dont Beat Anybody
>
> =======
>
> A Woman came to a doctor beaten black & blue said -
>
> Every time My Husband comes home drunk, He beats Me..
>
> Doctor - I've a good remedy for that, Whenever he comes home drunk,
>
> just take a glass of Mouthwash & start Gargling till he goes to sleep..
>
> Two weeks later she came back looking reborn & fresh & said - Wat a
> brilliant idea,
>
> whenever he comes home drunk, I just Gargle & He never beats Me..!
>
> Doctor - You see ! How Keeping Ur MOUTH SHUT, Helps...
>
> =======
>
> True Persons And Well Wishers In Our Life Are Like Stars,
>
> That Constantly Shine But we often Do Not See Them Until The Dark Hours
> Come.
>
> =======
>
> "नीलाम कुछ इस कदर हुए, बाज़ार-ए-वफ़ा में हम आज,,
>
> बोली लगाने वाले भी वो ही थे, जो कभी झोली फैला कर माँगा करते थे!!
>
> =======
>
> ...इतना कुछ होते हुए भी
> शब्दकोश में असंख्य शब्द होते हुए भी...
> ...मौन होना सब से बेहतर है।
>
> ...दुनिया में हजारों रंग होते हुए भी...
> काला और सफेद रंग सब से बेहतर है।
>
> ...खाने के लिए दुनिया भर की चीजें होते हुए भी...
> ...उपवास शरीर के लिए सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...पर्यटन के लिए रमणीक स्थल होते हुए भी...
> ...पेड़ के नीचे ध्यान लगाना सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...देखने के लिए इतना कुछ होते हुए भी...
> ...बंद आँखों से भीतर देखना सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...सलाह देने वाले लोगों के होते हुए भी...
> ...अपनी आत्मा की आवाज सुनना सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...जीवन में हजारों प्रलोभन होते हुए भी...
> ...सिद्धांतों पर जीना सबसे बेहतर है। 🎭
>
> =======
>
> (This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in
> Britain)
>
> A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
> Spielberg.
>
> As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for
> his autograph.
>
> Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,
> "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
>
> The astonished Chinese man replied,
> "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the
> Japanese".
>
> "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
>
> In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,
> "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
>
> Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
> me."
>
> The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
>
> =======
>
> **Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?
>
> Brother: A football
>
> Sister: But grandma does not play!
>
> Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita. Uska kya?
>
> =======
>
>
>
On May 16, 2014 5:54 PM, "Jagat jsheth6@yahoo.com [Hindi_Jokes]" <
Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
>
>
> Excellent -
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On May 4, 2014, at 4:17 AM, Mahesh Popat <mahesh_popat@ymail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> CHAK DE
>
> =======
>
> यादें पीछे ले जाती हैं,
>
> लेकिन ज़िन्दगी सिर्फ आगे जाती है!
>
> =======
>
> मुझे नींद की इजाज़त भी उसकी यादों से लेनी पड़ती है......!
>
> जो खुद तो सो जाता है, मुझे करवटों में छोड़ कर............
>
> =======
>
> Girl ordered a pizza Waiter: Mam should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8
>
> Girl: 4 hee kar de, 8 khaaungi to Moti ho jaungi...
>
> =======
>
> "If you don't STAND for SOMETHING,
>
> how can anyone RESPECT what you DO?"
>
> =======
>
> Opportunities Are Equal For All, But The Difference Is That
>
> +positive Person Gives RESULTS and negative Person Gives REASONS.
>
> =======
>
> Judge: Do you want to Stay with your Mom?
>
> Child: No. She Beats me.
>
> Judge: Then do you want to Stay with your Dad?
>
> Child: No,He also Beats me.
>
> Judge: Than how about your Grandparents or Uncle?
>
> Child: No, they also Beat me.
>
> Judge: Ok. So tell with who you want to Stay ?
>
> Child: I want to Stay with "Mumbai Indians"
>
> They Dont Beat Anybody
>
> =======
>
> A Woman came to a doctor beaten black & blue said -
>
> Every time My Husband comes home drunk, He beats Me..
>
> Doctor - I've a good remedy for that, Whenever he comes home drunk,
>
> just take a glass of Mouthwash & start Gargling till he goes to sleep..
>
> Two weeks later she came back looking reborn & fresh & said - Wat a
> brilliant idea,
>
> whenever he comes home drunk, I just Gargle & He never beats Me..!
>
> Doctor - You see ! How Keeping Ur MOUTH SHUT, Helps...
>
> =======
>
> True Persons And Well Wishers In Our Life Are Like Stars,
>
> That Constantly Shine But we often Do Not See Them Until The Dark Hours
> Come.
>
> =======
>
> "नीलाम कुछ इस कदर हुए, बाज़ार-ए-वफ़ा में हम आज,,
>
> बोली लगाने वाले भी वो ही थे, जो कभी झोली फैला कर माँगा करते थे!!
>
> =======
>
> ...इतना कुछ होते हुए भी
> शब्दकोश में असंख्य शब्द होते हुए भी...
> ...मौन होना सब से बेहतर है।
>
> ...दुनिया में हजारों रंग होते हुए भी...
> काला और सफेद रंग सब से बेहतर है।
>
> ...खाने के लिए दुनिया भर की चीजें होते हुए भी...
> ...उपवास शरीर के लिए सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...पर्यटन के लिए रमणीक स्थल होते हुए भी...
> ...पेड़ के नीचे ध्यान लगाना सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...देखने के लिए इतना कुछ होते हुए भी...
> ...बंद आँखों से भीतर देखना सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...सलाह देने वाले लोगों के होते हुए भी...
> ...अपनी आत्मा की आवाज सुनना सबसे बेहतर है।
>
> ...जीवन में हजारों प्रलोभन होते हुए भी...
> ...सिद्धांतों पर जीना सबसे बेहतर है। 🎭
>
> =======
>
> (This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in
> Britain)
>
> A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven
> Spielberg.
>
> As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for
> his autograph.
>
> Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says,
> "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
>
> The astonished Chinese man replied,
> "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the
> Japanese"
>
> "Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.
>
> In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says,
> "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."
>
> Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not
> me."
>
> The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."
>
> =======
>
> **Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?
>
> Brother: A football
>
> Sister: But grandma does not play!
>
> Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita. Uska kya?
>
> =======
>
>
>
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hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com email here to post your sms,jokes and pictures.
www.facebook.com/ganeshkumble21 Join with us on face book
You are interested to moderate hindi jokes group?
Mail me at ganeshkumble2014@gmail.com
