Tuesday, May 13, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3406

5 Messages

Digest #3406
1
Shayaris, Quotes, Poem, Jokes (03.05.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2a
Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14) by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2b
Re: Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14) by "Bijay Kumar" bijayjsr
2c
Re: Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14) by "Ashraf Perwez" ashraf_rahi78
3
Superb Quotes by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

Sun May 4, 2014 4:18 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

यादें पीछे ले जाती हैं,

लेकिन ज़िन्दगी सिर्फ आगे जाती है!

=======

मुझे नींद की इजाज़त भी उसकी यादों से लेनी पड़ती है......!
जो खुद तो सो जाता है, मुझे करवटों में छोड़ कर..................!!

=======

Girl ordered a pizza Waiter: Mam should I cut it into 4 pieces or into 8

Girl: 4 hee kar de, 8  khaaungi to Moti ho jaungi...

=======

"If you don't STAND for SOMETHING, 

how can anyone RESPECT what you DO?"

=======

Opportunities Are Equal For All, But The Difference Is That 

+positive Person Gives RESULTS  and negative Person Gives REASONS. 

=======

Judge: Do you want to Stay with your Mom?

Child: No. She Beats me.
Judge: Then do you want to Stay with your Dad?

Child: No,He also Beats me. 
Judge: Than how about your Grandparents or Uncle?

Child: No, they also Beat me.
Judge: Ok. So tell with who you want to Stay ?
Child: I want to Stay with "Mumbai Indians"
They Dont Beat Anybody

=======
A Woman came to a doctor beaten black & blue said - 

Every time My Husband comes home drunk, He beats Me..

Doctor - I've a good remedy for that, Whenever he comes home drunk, 

just take a glass of Mouthwash & start Gargling till he goes to sleep..

Two weeks later she came back looking reborn & fresh & said - Wat a brilliant idea, 

whenever he comes home drunk, I just Gargle & He never beats Me..!

Doctor - You see ! How Keeping Ur MOUTH SHUT, Helps...

=======

True Persons And Well Wishers In Our Life Are Like Stars,

That Constantly Shine But we often Do Not See Them Until The Dark Hours Come.

=======
 "नीलाम कुछ इस कदर हुए,  बाज़ार-ए-वफ़ा में हम आज,, 
बोली लगाने वाले भी वो ही थे,  जो कभी झोली फैला कर माँगा करते थे!!

=======

...इतना कुछ होते हुए भीशब्दकोश में असंख्य शब्द होते हुए भी...
...मौन होना सब से बेहतर है। 
...दुनिया में हजारों रंग होते हुए भी...काला और सफेद रंग सब से बेहतर है। 
...खाने के लिए दुनिया भर की चीजें होते हुए भी......उपवास शरीर के लिए सबसे बेहतर है। 
...पर्यटन के लिए रमणीक स्थल होते हुए भी......पेड़ के नीचे ध्यान लगाना सबसे बेहतर है। 
...देखने के लिए इतना कुछ होते हुए भी......बंद आँखों से भीतर देखना सबसे बेहतर है। 
...सलाह देने वाले लोगों के होते हुए भी......अपनी आत्मा की आवाज सुनना सबसे बेहतर है। 
...जीवन में हजारों प्रलोभन होते हुए भी......सिद्धांतों पर जीना सबसे बेहतर है। 🎭

=======

(This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain)
A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. 
As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph. 
Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, 
"You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."
The astonished Chinese man replied,
"It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbour, it was the Japanese"
"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg. 
In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, 
"You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship." 
Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me." 
The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

=======

**Sister to brother: What r u going to gift grandma on her b'day?

Brother: A football

Sister: But grandma does not play!

Brother: On my b'day she gave me bhagvad gita.  Uska kya?

=======

Fri May 9, 2014 1:19 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

Best one..
Duniya ka sabse Mushkil Kaam... ????
Apne Kaam se Kaam rakhna.....

=======

This is Super..

"Murgi aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho gyi..."
Upset Murga murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha
Murgi boli ''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona chahiye''

=======
Kash miljaye muje mukadar ki shahi or kalam..

Har lamha lamha likhdu apne dosto ke nam...

=======

Universal Fact For Men-
Your wife misses you a lot

only when you are partying with your friends.
=======
सबसे छोटी कविता.......
जिन्दगी एक जंग है,

जबतक बीवी संग है... 

=======

Ex-girlfriend ki shaadi ka card mila. Thodi takleef to hui.
Phir socha jayenge zaroor;

Mohabbat apni jagah hai aur daawat apni jagah.

=======

Height of attempting unknown question in an exam...
Question: What is an Array..explain with example?.Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend when he is standing far from you.
Eg.:
"ARRAY Yedya , ikde ye

=======

Lady apne aap se baat karte hue...Ki...I really don't understand who has a vacation actually. ....

a wife with kids at her mom's place or

a husband without his wife n kids to be more with his friends...

=======

 इक्का चाहे कितनी भी बाज़ी मार जाएमगर बेगम तो हमेशा बादशाह कि ही होती है।

=======

Jab Khayal Aaya to Khayal Bhi unka Aaya,

Jab Aankhen Band Ki To Khwab bhi unka Aaya,

Socha Yaad Kar Loo Kisi Aur ko,

Magar Hoth Khule To Naam Bhi unka Aaya..!!

=======

Arrested for laughing...!!This is from an actual trial in theUK.A young woman who was severalmonths pregnant was sitting in abus.When she noticed a young mansmiling at her she began feelinghumiliated on account of hercondition.She changed her seat and heseemed more amused.She moved again and then on seeinghim laughing more.She filed a court case on him. In thecourt the man's defence was:-When the lady boarded the bus icouldn't help noticing she waspregnant.She sat under an advertisement,which read "Coming Soon- Theunknown boon"..I was even more amused when shethen sat under a shavingadvertisement,which read:- "William's stick did thetrick"..Then I could not control myself anylonger,when on the third move she satunder an advertisement, whichread:- "Dunlop Rubber would haveprevented this accident"..The case was dismissed.The judge fell off his chairlaughing !

=======

मौत को देखा तो नहीं, पर शायद वो बहुत खूबसूरत होगी,

कम्बख़त जो भी उस से मिलता है, जीना छोड़ देता है..
=======

ग़ज़ब की एकता देखी लोगों की ज़माने में .......

ज़िन्दों को गिराने में और मुर्दों को उठाने में ..

=======
ज़िन्दगी में ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात "आख़री" होगी,

ना ज़ाने कौनसी रात "आख़री" होगी ।
मिलते, जुलते, बातें करते रहो यार एक दूसरे से,

ना जाने कौनसी "मुलाक़ात" आख़री होगी ....।।।।

=======

ऐसी बेरुखी भी देखी है हम ने.....!!!.के लोग,

आप से तुम तक......तुम से जान तक,

फिर जान से.....अनजान तक हो जाते है.....!!!

=======

The most stupid questions ppl usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At movies : Hey! Wat are you doing here??Ans : Don't you know??? I sell tickets in black over here
2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing a pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet: Sorry did that hurt?Ans: No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again?
3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl?Ans: Why? Would it rather have been you??
4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : Sorry! Were you sleeping?Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleeping? You dumb witted moron!
5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : Hey! Have you had a haircut?Ans: Nah! Its autumn & am shedding !! :D

=======

Women wear Mangalsutra / Sindoor to show they're married.................Men carry Tupperware lunch boxes into office to show they are married......

=======

दिलों कि बात करता हैं ज़माना.
पर आज भी मोहोब्बत चेहरों से ही शुरू होती हैं  !!

=======

Ajeeb andhera hai a ishq teri mehfil mai... 

Kisi ne dil bhi jalaya to roshni na hui...

=======

Dil se Haso to Saza Dete hai Log,

Sache Jajabat bhi Thukra Dete hai Log,

Kya Dekhenge Do Insano ki Dosti,,

Jab Sath Bhethe 2 Parindo ko bhi Uda dete hai Log...

=======

Nahi Rehta Koi Shakhs Adhoora Kisi Cheez Ke Bina ...
Waqt Guzar Hi Jata Hai Kuch Paa kar Bhi Kuch Kho kar Bhi .

=======

Fri May 9, 2014 4:28 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Bijay Kumar" bijayjsr



superb Arrested for laughing........

--------------------------------------------
On Fri, 9/5/14, Mahesh Popat mahesh_popat@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes] <Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:

Subject: [Hindi Jokes] Shyaris, Jokes, Qoute (09.05.14)
To: Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com
Cc: "mahesh New Id" <mahesh.popat@yahoo.com>, "Group chakdefriends" <chakdefriends@yahoogroups.com>, "Group gujju-lok" <gujju-lok@yahoogroups.com>, "Group loveever_groups" <loveever_groups@yahoogroups.com>, "Group Hindi Jokes" <hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Friday, 9 May, 2014, 8:17 AM














 










CHAK
DE
=======
Best
one..
Duniya ka
sabse Mushkil
Kaam... ????
Apne Kaam se
Kaam rakhna.....
=======
This is

Super..

"Murgi
aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho
gyi..."
Upset Murga
murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka
tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha
Murgi boli
''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona
chahiye''
=======
Kash miljaye
muje mukadar ki shahi or kalam..
Har lamha lamha likhdu apne dosto ke
nam...
=======
Universal Fact For
Men-
Your wife misses you a
lot
only when you are partying with your
friends.
=======
सबसे छोटी
कविता.......
जिन्दगी एक
जंग है,
जबतक बीवी संग
है... 
=======
Ex-girlfriend
ki shaadi ka card mila. Thodi takleef to
hui.
Phir socha jayenge
zaroor;
Mohabbat apni jagah hai aur daawat
apni jagah.
=======
Height of attempting unknown
question in an exam...
Question:
What is an Array..explain with
example?.Student: ARRAY is the word used to
call a friend when he is standing far from
you.
Eg.:
"ARRAY Yedya , ikde
ye
=======
Lady apne aap se baat karte
hue...Ki...I really don't understand who
has a vacation actually. ....
a wife with kids at her mom's
place or
a husband without his wife n kids to
be more with his friends...
=======
 इक्का
चाहे कितनी भी बाज़ी मार
जाएमगर बेगम तो हमेशा
बादशाह कि ही होती
है।
=======
Jab Khayal Aaya to Khayal Bhi unka
Aaya,
Jab Aankhen Band Ki To Khwab bhi
unka Aaya,
Socha Yaad Kar Loo Kisi Aur
ko,
Magar Hoth
Khule To Naam Bhi unka Aaya..!!
=======
Arrested for
laughing...!!This is from an actual trial in
theUK.A young woman who was
severalmonths pregnant was sitting in
abus.When she
noticed a young mansmiling at her she began
feelinghumiliated on account of
hercondition.She changed
her seat and heseemed more
amused.She moved again and then on
seeinghim laughing
more.She filed a court case on him. In
thecourt the man's defence
was:-When the lady boarded the bus
icouldn't
help noticing she waspregnant.She sat under an
advertisement,which read "Coming Soon-
Theunknown
boon"..I was even more amused when
shethen sat under a
shavingadvertisement,which read:- "William&#39;s
stick did thetrick"..Then I could not control myself
anylonger,when on the third move she
satunder an advertisement,
whichread:-
"Dunlop Rubber would haveprevented this
accident"..The case was
dismissed.The
judge fell off his chairlaughing
!
=======
मौत को देखा तो
नहीं, पर शायद वो बहुत
खूबसूरत होगी,
कम्बख़त जो भी
उस से
मिलता है, जीना छोड़
देता है..
=======
ग़ज़ब की एकता
देखी लोगों की ज़माने
में .......
ज़िन्दों को
गिराने में और मुर्दों
को उठाने में ..
=======
ज़िन्दगी में
ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात
"आख़री"
होगी,
ना ज़ाने
कौनसी रात "आख़री"
होगी ।
मिलते, जुलते,
बातें करते रहो यार एक
दूसरे से,
ना जाने कौनसी
"मुलाक़ात" आख़री
होगी ....।।।।
=======
ऐसी बेरुखी भी
देखी
है हम ने.....!!!.के लोग,
आप से तुम
तक......तुम से जान
तक,
फिर जान
से.....अनजान तक हो जाते
है.....!!!
=======
The most stupid questions ppl
usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At movies
: Hey! Wat are you doing here??Ans : Don't you know??? I sell
tickets in black over here
2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing a
pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet: Sorry did that
hurt?Ans: No, not at all. I'm on
local anaesthesia. Why dont you try
again?
3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed
ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl?Ans: Why? Would it rather have been
you??
4. When you get woken up at midnight
by a phone call : Sorry! Were you
sleeping?Ans: No! I was doing a research on
whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i
was sleeping? You dumb witted moron!
5. When you see a friend with an
evidently shorter hair : Hey! Have you had a
haircut?Ans: Nah! Its autumn & am
shedding !! :D
=======
Women wear
Mangalsutra / Sindoor to show they're

married.................Men carry Tupperware lunch boxes
into office to show they are
married......
=======
दिलों कि बात
करता हैं
ज़माना.
पर आज भी
मोहोब्बत चेहरों से ही
शुरू होती हैं
 !!
=======
Ajeeb andhera hai a ishq teri mehfil
mai... 
Kisi ne dil bhi jalaya to roshni na
hui...
=======
Dil se Haso to Saza Dete hai
Log,
Sache Jajabat bhi Thukra Dete hai
Log,
Kya Dekhenge Do Insano ki
Dosti,,
Jab Sath
Bhethe 2 Parindo ko bhi Uda dete hai Log...
=======
Nahi Rehta Koi Shakhs Adhoora Kisi
Cheez Ke Bina ...
Waqt Guzar Hi Jata Hai Kuch Paa kar
Bhi Kuch Kho kar Bhi .
=======























Fri May 9, 2014 4:28 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Ashraf Perwez" ashraf_rahi78

Nice!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks...

On Friday, 9 May 2014 1:47 PM, "Mahesh Popat mahesh_popat@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes]" <Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com> wrote:

 

CHAK DE

=======

Best one..

Duniya ka sabse 

Mushkil Kaam... ????

Apne 
Kaam se Kaam 
rakhna.....

=======

This is Super..

"Murgi aur Kauwa ki shadi fix ho gyi..."

Upset Murga murgi se bola- aakhir mujme kya kami thi... tumhari caste ka tha... us kauwa me aisa kya tha

Murgi boli ''Amma abba ki khwaish thi ki ladka airforce me hona chahiye''

=======

Kash miljaye muje mukadar ki shahi or kalam..

Har lamha lamha likhdu apne dosto ke nam...

=======

Universal Fact For Men-

Your wife misses you a lot

only when you are partying with your friends.

=======

सबसे छोटी कविता...
.
.
.
.

जिन्दगी एक जंग है,

जबतक बीवी संग है... 

=======

Ex-girlfriend ki shaadi ka card mila. Thodi takleef to hui.

Phir socha jayenge zaroor;

Mohabbat apni jagah hai aur daawat apni jagah.

=======

Height of attempting unknown question in an exam...

Question: What is an Array..explain with example?
.
Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend when he is standing far from you.

Eg.:

"ARRAY Yedya , ikde ye

=======

Lady apne aap se baat karte hue...
Ki...
I really don't understand who has a vacation actually. ....

a wife with kids at her mom's place or

a husband without his wife n kids to be more with his friends...

=======

 इक्का चाहे कितनी भी बाज़ी मार जाए
मगर 
बेगम तो हमेशा बादशाह कि ही होती है।

=======

Jab Khayal Aaya to Khayal Bhi unka Aaya,

Jab Aankhen Band Ki To Khwab bhi unka Aaya,

Socha Yaad Kar Loo Kisi Aur ko,

Magar Hoth Khule To Naam Bhi unka Aaya..!!

=======

Arrested for laughing...!!
This is from an actual trial in the
UK.
A young woman who was several
months pregnant was sitting in a
bus.
When she noticed a young man
smiling at her she began feeling
humiliated on account of her
condition.
She changed her seat and he
seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on seeing
him laughing more.
She filed a court case on him. In the
court the man's defence was:-
When the lady boarded the bus i
couldn't help noticing she was
pregnant.
She sat under an advertisement,
which read "Coming Soon- The
unknown boon"..
I was even more amused when she
then sat under a shaving
advertisement,
which read:- "William&#39;s stick did the
trick"..
Then I could not control myself any
longer,
when on the third move she sat
under an advertisement, which
read:- "Dunlop Rubber would have
prevented this accident"..
The case was dismissed.
The judge fell off his chair
laughing !

=======

मौत को देखा तो नहीं, पर शायद वो बहुत खूबसूरत होगी,

कम्बख़त जो भी उस से मिलता है, जीना छोड़ देता है..

=======

ग़ज़ब की एकता देखी लोगों की ज़माने में .......

ज़िन्दों को गिराने में और मुर्दों को उठाने में ..

=======

ज़िन्दगी में ना ज़ाने कौनसी बात "आख़री" होगी,

ना ज़ाने कौनसी रात "आख़री" होगी ।

मिलते, जुलते, बातें करते रहो यार एक दूसरे से,

ना जाने कौनसी "मुलाक़ात" आख़री होगी ....।।।।

=======

ऐसी बेरुखी भी देखी है हम ने.....!!!
.
के लोग,

आप से तुम तक......तुम से जान तक,

फिर जान से.....अनजान तक हो जाते है.....!!!

=======

The most stupid questions ppl usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At movies : Hey! Wat are you doing here??
Ans : Don't you know??? I sell tickets in black over here

2. In bus: A heavy lady wearing a pointed high heeled shoes steps on your feet: Sorry did that hurt?
Ans: No, not at all. I'm on local anaesthesia. Why dont you try again?

3. At funeral: One of the teary eyed ppl ask:Why??? Why him of all ppl?
Ans: Why? Would it rather have been you??

4. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call : Sorry! Were you sleeping?
Ans: No! I was doing a research on whether zulu tribes in africa marry or not. You thought i was sleeping? You dumb witted moron!

5. When you see a friend with an evidently shorter hair : Hey! Have you had a haircut?
Ans: Nah! Its autumn & am shedding !! :D

=======

Women wear Mangalsutra / Sindoor to show they're married..
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Men carry Tupperware lunch boxes into office to show they are married......

=======

दिलों कि बात करता हैं ज़माना.

पर आज भी मोहोब्बत चेहरों से ही शुरू होती हैं  !!

=======

Ajeeb andhera hai a ishq teri mehfil mai... 

Kisi ne dil bhi jalaya to roshni na hui...

=======

Dil se Haso to Saza Dete hai Log,

Sache Jajabat bhi Thukra Dete hai Log,

Kya Dekhenge Do Insano ki Dosti,,

Jab Sath Bhethe 2 Parindo ko bhi Uda dete hai Log...

=======

Nahi Rehta Koi Shakhs Adhoora Kisi Cheez Ke Bina ...

Waqt Guzar Hi Jata Hai Kuch Paa kar Bhi Kuch Kho kar Bhi .

=======

Fri May 9, 2014 5:46 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=======

"Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there." -- John Wooden

=======

"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing." -- Walt Disney

=======

A problem is only a problem if you make the choice to see it as a problem

========

"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." -- Denis Waitley

=======

What is the secret of SUCCESS ???" RIGHT DECISIONS " ;What is the secret of RIGHT DECISIONS ???" EXPERIENCE "&What is the secret of EXPERIENCE ???
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
" WRONG DECISIONS " ...............
So , success is a circle of your efforts , whether right or
wrong do not matter , what matters is the courage to
continue .

=======

"Ask for what you want. Ask for help, ask for input, ask for advice and ideas -- but never be afraid to ask." -- Brian Tracy

========
To subscribe send email to hindi_jokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
To unsbscribe send email to hindi_jokes-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

hindi_jokes@yahoogroups.com email here to post your sms,jokes and pictures.

www.facebook.com/ganeshkumble21 Join with us on face book


You are interested to moderate hindi jokes group?
Mail me at ganeshkumble2014@gmail.com

No comments: