Sunday, September 6, 2009

[Hindi_Jokes] Digest Number 2402

Messages In This Digest (13 Messages)

Blind Man in a Bar From: ~ Guchi ~
Story....Uooop) From: jooop Love
How to SPEAK WELL and Confidently From: ~* ~ Rajesh ~*~
kisi ko dil me From: Hanuman Tak
Dil Se Dil Tak From: shaiprajapati
Good Morning... Joyous Sunday... From: Aseem Kaistha
A.G. Sunte Ho? From: Chollo .
Roz kisi ka intezar From: tofiq_sonu
Saat Saal Ki Sazaaa From: dilip
Ye akele pan ki udaasian From: chayan jain
Kuch log hotay hai aansu ki tarah From: DIXIT KUMAR




Posted by: "TUNA"   tunaysem

Sat Sep 5, 2009 6:49 am (PDT)



Posted by: "TUNA"   tunaysem

Sat Sep 5, 2009 6:56 am (PDT)


Blind Man in a Bar

Posted by: "~ Guchi ~"   guchijain19

Sat Sep 5, 2009 6:59 am (PDT)


############ ######### #
Blind Man in Bar
############ ######### #
Click Here To Join Our Group

A blind man enters a blondes bar by mistake .

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender in a loud
Voice, " Hey bartender, you wanna hear a dumb blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls deathly quiet.
In a deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, " Before you
Tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair, given that you are blind,

That you should know five things:
One: The bartender is a blonde woman.
Two: The bouncer is a blonde woman.

Three: The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional boxer.
Four: The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler ..
Five: I'm a 6-foot, 200 pound blonde woman with a Ph.D., a black

Belt in karate, and a very bad attitude!
Now, think about it seriously, mister. Do you still want to tell that joke ?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and says:
" Nah. .. Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

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Posted by: "jooop Love"   jooop55

Sat Sep 5, 2009 7:33 am (PDT)

Wilma inducted into companionship service
name is Wilma. I am hot and a lesbian though I do enjoy men once in a
way. I live in India am an Indian. This is my first story for
humandigest, so I look forward for comments. Soon after graduating with
first class marks, I got a job as a junior executive in a multinational
firm. After two years with the firm at the place my Aunt lived, I was
transferred to another large town.
I got an independent flat and bought myself a car. Not having any
friends in the new town, I joined a health club not so much because I
was a health freak but it helped me to pass my time. To help me recover
some money I had to pay for use of the club, authorities permitted the
members to pay in kind by working for a certain amount of time
in either the front office or massage parlour or in, administration.
I opted for massage parlour. I had to work from about 7oclock in the
evening on Fridays to 10pm and then again from 9 in the morning to 1 in
the afternoon on Saturdays. I had to work in the women section of the
parlour. Pay was woefully short but the tips were good, as only the
richie rich could afford to come.
I had been working for about a month when, one Friday evening, a
plump fortish old woman came into the parlour. On seeing her, I
recognized her as she was a regular face in the society magazine- her
husband was purported to be among the richest industrialist in the
country. She had been sent to my station by the front office.
After a quick and brief introduction, I handed her a gown and a warm
towel besides asking to lock her valuables in a locker. Then she came
to the table and lay down, I am very tired out, now you pretty girl
make me feel and look as fresh as you or at least as fresh as a daisy.
She said. I got busy massaging her. I noticed that she had large and
slightly drooping breast.
Her arse cheeks were also loose., her penis eater had a few days
growth on it. While I was massaging her I could see that she was
getting sexually aroused. Once or twice, with the pretense of
scratching her pussy, she rubbed her cilt. She continued to have a flow
of conversation throughout the time I was massaging her.
When I was doing her breasts and her fuzz box, her voice was
trembling. I knew she getting all worked up but I was trying to be as
professional as possible, though I could have just loved to suck off
all her juices and have my juice licked. Couple of times I did feel her
hand had mistakenly brushed my arse cheeks and breast. My own tits were
fighting to break out.
I had, by then massaged about twenty women, some much younger and
better looking, before this, but this feeling did not come. I did not
know why this feeling was now coming. After about 45 minutes of massage
I finished. While she went to have a shower, I went to the toilet to
cool of my own glory hole.
When she finished, I was there to receive her to bid her the routine
Come Again, I hope you found everything satisfactory, Maam It was the
best massage I have had so far my girl, I must inform your boss about
it. With that she took out a wad of notes and gave it to me. Listen my
girl, why dont you and I have lunch together tomorrow, if you are not
busy? She asked.
She did not wait for a reply and continued See you at 2pm. With that
she told me the hotel she was living in and the room number. When I got
up next morning, I was wondering whether to go or not, but the tip she
had given me tilted the scale to go. I did a very close shave of my
pussy, in the event she decided to play with me. Any way, I was hoping
she would do just that.
I was horny as hell, not having had sex with anyone one for over a
month plus. I dressed carefully so as to not look too loud, yet at the
same time not look like a run-of-the-mill. After a considerable debate,
I decided to forgo wearing a panty (which, I do not wear normally
anyhow). The hotel was about half hour drive away.
At about five past 2, I reached her room and gently knocked. The
door opened so fast giving the impression that she was waiting at the
door. I am so glad you came. I thought you wouldnt she said, welcoming
me. With that she hugged me for I thought would be the customary
kiss-in-the air, but she surprised be by kissing me on my lips.
So there was perhaps some action to look forward to, but I had to be
careful, in the event, I was reading too much into what might be, her
natural way of greeting. She then ordered from room service, a beer for
me and the cocktail (Screw Driver) for herself. While the drinks were
being brought we made small chat more introductory about each other.
She was married at an early age to this very rich family and had two
children who were both abroad studying. Her husband was too busy
becoming a billionaire the third time over, so she was pretty much on
her own most of the time. She talked of her social life with a lot of
name-dropping, of course.
Her one constant underlying message remained how she was so very
lonely and frustrated. She did talk a lot of some of her very good
women friends with whom Ive had such good time and with whom I can
safely confine any thing and who help me to get over some of her
frustrations. These friends were also very lonely, and so on and so
We were now into my second can of beer and she had switched from a
Screw Driver to a Bloody Mary and was into her third Bloody Mary when
she ordered the lunch. During the conversation she was constantly
feeling my cheeks, pushing up my hair from my forehead and every now
and then hugging me. I continued to play cool but did not resist any of
her overtures.
I continued to play my game and she hers. The lunch was consumed and
table cleaned by the hotel staff, who got a massive tip. After lunch,
we again settled down for a chat. This time she sat much closer than
what she did before lunch. She got bolder now. Every now and then, she
while hugging me pulled me closer to her, lightly kissed me on my
cheeks or forehead;
let her hand brush my breast and rest on my thighs. I realized that
she was now sexually wanting me. My own body was playing havoc into me.
My tits were mutinying to be handled; the volcano between my legs had
started to spew lava. I was feeling wet between my legs. My
self-control was weakening.
It finally collapsed when the next time she hugged me and kissed me,
I reacted and gave her a kiss in return a full blooded, French kiss. My
tongue parted her lips and found her tongue. She sucked my tongue and
then she thrust her tongue into my mouth. I sucked it. By now our hands
were exploring each others body.
She was pressing my boobs and cooing on how nice they felt. She had
large and soft breast. I opened my blouse and undid my Bra. What a
relief it was. My tits were so taut and standing so far ahead that I
was almost embarrassed seeing them. She started to knead them. I took
one in both my hands and thrusting it forward towards her mouth said,
Suck them.
She readily accepted it and started to lick the tit before engulfing
it into her mouth. It gave me so much relief and satisfaction. She then
pulled off my blouse and the bra. With both milk containers free of any
obstacles to pleasure she started to knead the breast which was not in
her mouth and with her other hand started to pull up my skirt to feel
my mound of Venus.
I helped her along by spreading my legs. I had also opened her
blouse and undid the offending bra. Her big floppy tit-holders popped
out. They were large, soft and cuddly. I started to play with them
while she paid reverence to my titties. The moment she left my pointers
I took her tits into my mouth.
She stood up and pushed me onto the backrest of the sofa while she
thrust her boobies into my mouth. I got both her tits into my mouth
to-gather. Bite them, my little bitch she kept saying while pulling my
head into her. I put my hand up her skirt while I sucked. I was
surprised to find that she did not have on panties like women wear but
silky Jockey shorts.
I put my hand thru the leg hole and reached her Island of Pleasure.
I realized on feeling her that unlike the previous day when she had a
little fuzz between her legs, she was smooth as a babys bum. I started
to rub it. She unhooked her skirt and took it off. She was now only in
her flowered little Jockeys, which were obviously mens were as it had
flaps. I pulled them down.
She pulled herself away from me, spread her legs and then with her
fingers spread her pussy exposing her cilt. My doll you want to eat
furry furnace and lick my thorn? Before I could answer, she surprised
me by sitting down on her haunches and lifting my barefoot. She started
to kiss my foot and alternatively lick my toes. I pulled my skirt off
over my head.
We were now both naked. Sex reeked the air. I couldnt reach up to
her from the position I was in, so I started to rub my mound. She
licked the sole of my feet and then rubbed her bulging Mount of Venus
with the sole of my feet. She then put my big toe into her piss-hole
and pumped it in and out. Droplets started to trickle down.
She took it out of her hole and sucked the toe. While she was doing
so she reached out to my cunt and put her finger in my fluid fill hole.
My Baby, I want to gobble your cunt. I said. First toe fuck me, you
naughty mother-fucker She kept putting my toes into her slit and
licking them while at the same time fingering me and licking her
I was afraid I would climax before I even got a chance to suck her.
I pulled my legs towards me, got up and pulled her up. We now stood
entangled into each other. I carefully aligned my breast with hers (she
was about four inches shorter than me) and pressed her body into mine.
It was pure ecstasy. I now had my hands on her bum cheeks.
She did the same only with a difference. She started to feel down my
arse cheek slit and put her finger into my arse-hole. I then pulled her
towards the bed. I want to go solo I told her and lay down on the bed
and asked her to place her fun hatch over my mouth. She stood over my
face and spread her cunt as wide as possible and slowly lowered herself
onto my mouth.
I had my first view of the well of pleasure. Her cupids cupboard was
over my mouth. It was overflowing with juices, tasting like honey. I
dug my tongue deep and started liking her. I could see her looking down
on me and adjusting her position, so not only get a better view, but
for me to be able to get to her most erotic place.
I then took her cilt into my mouth and started to suck it. I could
see her playing with her tits, so I moved my hand up and started to
knead her boobs and milk her tits. She looked over her shoulders and
seeing my legs wide apart started to finger my glory hole. She suddenly
got off me, Baby, I almost climaxed.
I want to climax with you Saying this she turned around and lay down
on me. She again started by sucking my toes. I parted her arse lips and
put my finger into her hole and started to push it in and out. She made
it easier for me my lifting her bottom and spreading her arse cheeks
exposing her dark arse hole.
I half lifted myself and licked her exposed hole and wet it well
with my spit. She finally left my toes and came to my honey producer.
We changed positions, with me now on top of her. I climbed over her and
spread her legs and raised them. Placing her legs under my arms I took
my a big mouthful. I started to lick, suck and kiss her cock receptacle
while fingering her arse hole.
She in the meanwhile was busy licking up all the juices. A lot of
Ohs, ahas, yess.yess, thats it was the only noise that punctuated the
sucking sounds. We had reached frenzy. Somewhere along, our position
changed. She was now on top of me when we simultaneously exploded. We
were still sucking and talking of multiple organism we must have
created a new world record.
After a while, absolutely drained out(literally) we went to sleep in
each others arms. I got up when I felt my toes being sucked. It had got
dark and I had to get back to rest for the next day was another grind
in office. It took me awhile dressing, as it is not such an easy job
dressing up sitting down because Madam was busy getting herself toe
Just as I was leaving she gave me an envelope. I gave her my
telephone number and asked her to contact me whenever she was in town.
With a longish farewell kiss and feeling each other, I left. At home I
opened the envelope to see the content and found money that was almost
my months salary. I phoned her up to say thank you but she had already
checked out.
We have met after that many times and more importantly, through her
met many more. It started me off on my new profession of providing
companionship service. How did you like my story. Comment are welcome.
Having joined this lucrative profession I have had a lot of experiences
to share with you all - that is if you like my true stories.


How to SPEAK WELL and Confidently

Posted by: "~* ~ Rajesh ~*~"   verygood101

Sat Sep 5, 2009 7:52 am (PDT)

How to Speak Well and Confidently

SpeakerAre you very shy when it comes to new surroundings, such as starting a new class or moving to a new area? Sometimes, it is necessary to overcome your shyness and speak confidently. By doing this, it can help you not only to share your ideas properly to others, but also to learn communicating with others. Here are a few steps to consider when speaking with confidence.


   1. Learn how to have conversations with people. Your ideas or opinions may not always be accepted by others, but this is nothing unusual. Open your mouth, express your beliefs! This will improve your courage.
   2. Don't be afraid and speak loudly. If you speak in a low voice, not only will others not be able to hear what you say, but you will also portray a submissive demeanor, which suggests the opposite of a confident one.
   3. Make eye contact when you speak. For one thing, it is polite for others. Also, eye contact will help others to listen to your thinking carefully.
   4. Praise yourself everyday! This will promote your own confidence, which is important when you speak. With more confidence, people will take your thinking more seriously.


    * Don't be nervous when you make mistakes. Human error is far from being a new concept — nobody is perfect! It is normal for everyone to make mistakes. Just calm down and keep speaking bravely.
    * Try and try again! This may be difficult for a shy person at first, but you need to force yourself to speak, and not seclude your thoughts. If you have some ideas, then try to speak out! Don't just keep them in your head.
    * If you have self confidence issues, try to think that you are the only one who has sound knowledge about the topic. Then go ahead and impart your knowledge to the audience in an effective way.
    * Remember that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. Don't portray an exaggerated amount of confidence, or you will come off as arrogant, believing that your ideas are better than the ideas of everyone else.

Love Cricket? Check out live scores, photos, video highlights and more. Click here

kisi ko dil me

Posted by: "Hanuman Tak"   hanumantak

Sat Sep 5, 2009 8:04 am (PDT)

khuda ke dar par jaya nahi jaataa;
kisi ek se kuchchhupaya nahi jata,
yaad aati hai bichad ne ke baad,
chahe vo  bhul jaye hamko,
kisi or ko dil me basaya nahi jata.
taras jaoge mahafil-a-wafa ke liye,
kisi se pyar na kar khuda ke liye,
jub lagegi ishk ki adalat ,
ek din chune jaoge saja ke liye.
na jaane kab koi tara aasman se toot jaaye,
na jaane kab koi aansu aankho se chhut jaaye,
kuch pal mere sath hans lo dost,
na jaane kab is jisham se yeh jaan rooth jaye.
               hanuman tak


Dil Se Dil Tak

Posted by: "shaiprajapati"   shaiprajapati

Sat Sep 5, 2009 9:56 pm (PDT)

pattern <>
<> Dil SE Dil Tak

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<> dil se dil ko
milalo tou kya baat hogi,
tamanna ishq main milalo tou molakhaat hogi,
khoushi kaa pal agar ek saat guzaaru tou baat khas hogi,
agar tum chaho tou khushiyunki baraat hogi.

dil le dastan, kise sonayenge hum,
dil betaab hai, kise batayenge hum,
dard ispaar bhi hai, uspaar bhi,
samna usse kase kar pange hum.


tum paas hote mere tou , chaman main bahaar aajati.
tum kaash hote mere tou , isjism main jaan aajati .


tum saamne hou mere ,magar mere paas nahin,
is dil main hai tasveer tumhari ,magar tumhe malum nahin.


tum se kahena hai yeh hi baat, ke mujhko hai sirf intezaar,
tum bhi maanlo yeh hi baat, ke tum bhi karti ho mera atbaar.


tum bin hai jina doushwar,yeh kyse se batain hum ke,
tum se karte hain hum kitna pyaar, tumse hai umid ek baar,
soonlo dil awaaz, ke tumse hai dil ki kharaar.
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Good Morning... Joyous Sunday...

Posted by: "Aseem Kaistha"   shaiprajapati

Sat Sep 5, 2009 10:13 pm (PDT)

This Mail is Posting us by : -

Aseem Kaistha <>

Sunday, September 6, 2009

A.G. Sunte Ho?

Posted by: "Chollo ."   nasrasayid

Sat Sep 5, 2009 10:19 pm (PDT)

Yeh Biwiyan apne pati
ko "A.G." kyon kehti hain?

Roz kisi ka intezar

Posted by: "tofiq_sonu"   safi_sonu

Sat Sep 5, 2009 10:29 pm (PDT)

Roz kisi ka intezar hota hai,

Saat Saal Ki Sazaaa

Posted by: "dilip"   shaiprajapati

Sat Sep 5, 2009 10:48 pm (PDT)

Teacher and Smart Student...

Ye akele pan ki udaasian

Posted by: "chayan jain"   chayanjain8

Sat Sep 5, 2009 10:54 pm (PDT)

Ye akele pan ki udaasian

Kuch log hotay hai aansu ki tarah

Posted by: "DIXIT KUMAR"   kumar_dixit00009

Sat Sep 5, 2009 11:07 pm (PDT)

Kabhi laga wo hamay sata rehay hai,
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