Sunday, April 13, 2014

[Hindi Jokes] Digest Number 3396

3 Messages

Digest #3396
1
Women you're gonna love this one! by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
2
Jokes, Shayaris & Quote by "Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com

Messages

Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:04 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

Dedicated to all my friends. Women you're gonna love this one!
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some chocolate with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop sweets years ago", the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No, I don't waste time shopping", the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?", the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I hvnt had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husbandand myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, salon and chocolates.

Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:48 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

==========

4 surgeons sat around discussing their favorite patients type 
1st surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".
2nd surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".
3rd surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded.
The 4th surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."
The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.
The 4th surgeon continues,    "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the butts  and brains  are interchangeable."happy voting

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1 train me Katrina without ticket travel kar rahi thi..

Usne saree pehni thi.. T.C. Ne usse 100 rs fine liye..

Aishwarya ne jeans pehni thi, usse 75 rs fine liye..

Karina ne skirt pehni thi, usse 50 rs fine liye..

Par Sunny Leone se kuchh nai liya..

Why.. ??

Q ki...........................................Uske pas ticket tha.
Soch badlo desh badlega..
Modi akela kya karega.....

==========

ये मुकरने का अंदाज़ मुझे भी सीखा दो
वादे नीभा-नीभा के थक गया हूँ मैं...

==========
Couple silently sitting next to each other & husband not talking....
Wife thinks. Why is he not talking to me? 

Is he thinking of another woman? 
Is he seeing someone?
Are wrinkles showing on my face? 

Is he trying to dump me?

Have I put on weight ?
Does my make up repel him these days?

Is he upset with my nagging? Why?
Husband thinks: Why the hell did Dhoni send Yuvaraj to bat... ?

==========

Definition of TIME!
Slow, when you wait!

Fast, when you r Late!

Deadly, when you r Sad!

Short, when you r happy!

Endless, when you r in Pain!

Long,when you feel bore!
Sometimes, time is determined by your feelings

and your psychological conditions not by clocks...
So,

Have A Nice Time Always!! :)

==========
ये सोच कर की शायद वो खिड़की से झाँक ले;

उसकी गली के बच्चे आपस में लड़ा दिए मैंने।

==========

2 wheeler travel mein Udti hai bahoot dust yaarAbki baar.................

..
....

Let's go by car
Har msg mein zaroori nahi Modi Sarkar 

===========
MAA tere pyar ka haq, mujhse ada kya hoga..
Tu gar hai naaraz, toh khush mujhse khuda kya hoga !!

===========

Once a father beats up his son and when son starts crying father says sorry.
Son says - Take a piece of paper. Crumble it. Fold it. Now open it. Say "sorry" to it. Are the scars on the paper gone?
Dad says- Take my scooter and try to start.
does it start? Nahin naa.Now give it 3-4 kicks.
Now does it start? Hua na.
Saale tu wahi scooter hai, koi paper nahi.

Aage se ye Facebook/WhatsApp wale gyaan apne baap ko mat dena.

===========

Diapers ke advertisement Mai chhote bachho ke izzat lootne walo ...

Janta maaf nahi karegi. 
============
Gulami to sirf tere ishq ki he.....

baaki yeh dil to pehle bhi nawab tha, aaj bhi nawab he

==========

Sun Apr 13, 2014 2:48 am (PDT) . Posted by:

"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com



CHAK DE

=========

A sample of the language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in Mumbai.........
1. There's a minor problem- Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya 

2. There's a big problem - Arre yaar, "Jhol" ho gaya 

3. There's a huge problem..(unsolvable)-Arre yaar,"Raada" ho  Gaya 

4. You'll be surprised .- Ekdam "Hill " jayega tu

5. I am going out of this place - Chal apun "Kaltii" marta hai.

6. Don't make a fool of others - Dekh , tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko 

7. Just get out of here,you oversmart fool!! - Chal e shane, "Hawa"aan de

8. I am not a stupid out here - Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se nahi aaya

9. There's some misunderstanding - Arre kuch "Galat Faimili" ho gayi 

10. Do u drink daily? - Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai?

11. See, You are afraid.. - Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi

12. Shall I bash u? - E Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ? 

13. Just take him into a secret place -Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja

14. What a beautiful lady !! - Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!!

15. Don't just bluff. - E Jyaada "RAAG" mat de.. 

16. Don't take much tension.. - Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya??

17. Your clothes are very awkward!! - Kya "ZAGMAG /DHINKCHAAK"pehna tune? 

18. I don't care about it much..!! - Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"

19. Please don't bore me... - Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu

20. All this must be done without anyone's notice Sab kaam "SUUMDI" me hona chahiye...kya?

All the mumbaikars would b having a smile on their face afer readiNg this .
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