Messages In This Digest (4 Messages)

1.: SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-101-102-103-104-105-106-107-108-109-110 From: suhani

2.: Hum koi gila nahi karte From: Loveever

3.: What I Need From: Loveever

4.: Very Important Information From: Avi Dil Se...

View All Topics | Create New Topic

Messages

1.: SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-101-102-103-104-105-106-107-108-109-110

Posted by: "suhani" suhanisharma21f@gmail.com suhanisharma21f

Fri May 7, 2010 10:42 am (PDT)

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-101

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-101
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek premi jhijhakta hua apni premika ke baap ke
paas pahuncha aur bola- "Mai aapki ladki ka
haath maangne aaya hoon|"
Ladki ka pita- "Sirf haath nahi milega|
Maangni hai to poori ladki maango|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ramesh- "Mummy! Hamari padosan ka naam bhi ajeeb hai|"
Maa- "Kyo... Lata naam me kya kharabi hai?"
Ramesh- "Par mummy! Daddy to use darling kehkar
pukaarte hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Mareej- "Mai vaastav me hi apne heart operation ki
baat sochkar nervous hua ja raha hoon doctor|"
Surgeon- "Nervous hone ki aavashyakta nahi|
Aaj tak mere operationo me sirf ek hi mareej ki maut huyi hai|"
Mareej- "Aaj tak aap kitne mareejo ke operation
kar chuke hai?"
Surgeon- "Tum doosre ho|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Dosto ki mehfil se bahut jaldi uth jaane par
santa ko unke dosto ne taana diya- "Patni ka
aisa bhi kya dar, tum aadmi ho ya choohe?"
Santa- "Aadmi, choohe se to meri patni darti hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-102

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-102
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- "Jo cheej maangte ho, yah kutta laakar de
deta hai... Phir aap ise kyo bech rahe hai?"
Banta- "Kya karoon? Ek din hamare ghar me chor
aaye to yah haraamjaada lalten lekar unhe
raasta dikha raha tha|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni- "haaN, maine apne pati kI hatya ki hai|"
Nyaayadheesh- "Lekin kyo?"
Patni- "Ji, mai talaak ka kharcha bardaash karne
me asmarth thi|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni- "Kyo ji! Agar mai rasoiye ko hataakar kal se aapko
apne haath ka khaana khilau to mujhe kya milega?"
Pati- "Meri beema policy ki poori rakam|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pati- "Mere marne ke baad tum saamne waale guptaji
se shaadi kar lena|"
Patni- "Kya keh rahe hai aap? Guptaji to aapke
jaani dushman hai|"
Pati- "Haan, mai unse badla lena chahta hoon|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-103

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-103
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ek kanjoos seth jab marne ko hua to ek
rishtedaar ne kaha- "Ab to aap mar hi rahe hai|
Jaate-jaate samaaj ke liye kuch de jaaiye|"
Seth- "Aur kya doon? Ab jaan to de raha hoon|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Chota bacha- "Mere pita branch manager hai|"
Bhoodhi mahila- "Sachmuch? Vah kis shaakha ki
dekhbhaal karte hai?"
Chota bacha- "Ve pedo ki shaakhao ki dekhbhaal karte hai|
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Paagalkhaane me ek baar charcha chid gayi-
"Sabse bada paagal kaun hai?"
Kaafi ho-halle ke baad yah tay hua ki sabse bada
paagal doctor hai|
Ek paagal- "Kyo?"
Doosra paagal- "Are! acha bhalaa hokar bhi paagalo
ke beech reh raha hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- "Kya tumhara patni se hamesha matbhed rehta hai?"
Banta- "Haan, sirf ek baar nahi raha|"
Santa- "Vo kab?"
Banta- "Jab ghar me aag lagi thi to ham dono ek
hi darwaaje se baahar nikle the|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-104

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-104
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Adhyapak- "Tinka ka bahuvachan kya hai?"
Reena- "Jhaadoo|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Seth bholaram ke pet ke upar se chooha nikal gaya
to vah uthkar chillane laga|
Patni- "Isme itna chillane ki kya baat hai?"
Sethji- "Aaj to chooha gujra hai, kal haathi,
ghode, bail, motor sabhi gujar sakte hai, is tarah
to mera pet aam raasta ban jaayega|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Seeta- "Aajkal mere pitaji ke aage sab sir jhukaate hai|"
Geeta- "Kaun se officer hai?"
Seeta- "Unhone hajjaam ka kaam shuru kar diya hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pita- "Beta, tumhe kitni baar samjhaya ki vah
sachmuch ka sher nahi tasveer hai| Phir kyo ghabraate ho?"
Beta- "Mai ghabrata nahi pitaji, par mujhe yah
chinta bani rehti hai ki vah bechara bhookha hoga|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-105

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-105
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Yaatri- "Are bhai, yaha paas me koi kabristaan hai?"
Coolie- "Ji nahi|"
Yaatri- "Koi shamshaanghaat?"
Coolie- "Vah bhi nahi hai|"
Yaatri- "Kamaal hai, to phir rail ki pratiksha karte
samay jo log mar jaate hai, unka kya kiya jaata hai?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premika- "Mera khyaal hai ki ab hame shaadi kar
leni chahiye|"
Premi- "Kya mai tumhe hasta hua acha nahi lagta?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premika ki maa- "Meri putri badi vishaal hradya hai|"
Premi- "Haan, aap thik kehti hai, mai apne alaava
uske pyaar ke do aur afsaane sun chuka hoon|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni ne padosiyo ke baare me pati se poocha-
"Kya unki jodi upyukt hai?"
Pati- "Bahut upyukt hai| Pati kharraate bharta
hai aur patni behri hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-106

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-106
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premi- "Tum mere hote huye kisi bhi chor ya gunde
se mat darna|"
Premika- "Tum itne diler ho?"
Premi- "Nahi, mai daud me champion hoon| Aisa koi
khatra hua to mai bhaagkar police ko soochit kar doonga|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premi- "Aaj meri kisi ne jeb kaat li|"
Premika- "To police me report karo|"
Premi- "Lekin galti kar di maine|"
Premika- "Kya?"
Premi- "Jeb kaatne ke turant baad maine darji se
jeb silva di|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- "Tumhari patni jab kisi vishay par charcha
karti hai to aant me kaun bolta hai?"
Banta- "Mai hi|"
Santa- "Tum kya kehte ho?"
Banta- "Tu jeeti, mai haara, ab bas kar|'
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni pati se jhallakar- "Mai poochti hoon, shaadi ke
baad tumne kaun-se sukh diye hai?"
Pati- "He bhagwan! Do bache de diye aur kya chahiye?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-107

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-107
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premi ke maathe par pattiya bandhi huyi thi|
Uske mitra ne poocha- "Are yaar! Yah kya hua?"
Premi- "Kuch nahi dost| Meena ne mere diye
hue phool mere maathe par de maare|"
Mitra- "Lekin phoolo se itni chot nahi lag sakti|"
Premi- "Kyo nahi lag sakti, phool phooldaan me jo the|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Restaurant me baithe huye ek premi ne apni premika
se poocha- "Kaho, kya mangvaaya jaye?"
Premika- "Mere liye coffee aur apne liye ambulance,
kyoki darwaaje par mere pitaji khade hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Daftar me aayi nayi typist ne doosre kone me
baithi ek khoobsoorat ladki se poocha-
"Tum hamesha nithalli kyo baithi rehti ho?"
Khoobsoorat ladki- "Boss ko yahi pasand hai|
Mera vibhaag shikaayato ka vibhaag hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premika- "Kisi ne kaha hai ki jise achi shakal milti
hai, use akal nahi milti|"
Premi- "Isliye to maine tumse pyaar kiya hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-108

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-108
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Fauji adaalat ke saamne kaptaan aur havaldaar ka
mukadma chal raha tha|
Judge- "Kyo havaldaar, tumne kaptaan saahab ko kya gaali di?"
Havaldaar- "Ji, ulloo, gadha, paaji kaha|"
Judge- "Tumne kyo kaha?"
Havaldaar -"Ji, kaptaan saahab ne mujhe poocha tha
ki tu mujhe kya samajhta hai, maine sab bata diya|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni- "Aapka yah suite phat gaya hai| Isse bartan
khareed loon?"
Pati- "Nahi rehne do| Income tax me katauti
karaane ke samay ise pehankar jaaunga|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pati- "Shaadi se pehle to mai hukm ka baadshah tha|"
Patni- "Aur ab?"
Pati- "Chidi ka gulaam|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni- "Kaash! Kam-se-kam tum mera dhyaan rakhte|"
Pati- "Bhai, koshish to poori karta hoon ki tumhara
dhyaan kam-se-kam rakhoon|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-109

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-109
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Pati ne patni ko uski saalgirah par heero ka haar
bhent me diya| Vah khush ho gayi, magar fauran hi
kuch sochkar pati se boli- "Aapne to is saalgirah par
mere liye car kharidne ka vaada kiya tha|"
Pati- "Kharid to deta, magar kya karoon, nakli
caaren milti kaha hai?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- "Ghar ka maalik kaise bane?
Naamak kitaab se koi laab pahuncha?"
Banta- "Nahi|"
Santa- "Kyo?"
Banta- "Meri patni vah kitaab mujhe padhne hi
nahi deti|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Patni ne apne pati ko bade garv se bataya- "Jab meri
car telephone ke khambe se takra gayi,
to police waale ne badi shishtta se mujhse
kaha ki yadi aap aagya de to mai shehar ke
saare telephone ke khambe hatva doon|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Mahima- "Ve kaun log hai, jo pustak vikreta ko
pasand nahi karte?"
Aini- "Mai nahi jaanti|"
Mahima- "Librarian|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-110

SUHANI KE SUHANE JOKES-110
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ghar ke kalah hone ke baad pati ne gusse
me pankhe se rassi ka phanda latkaaya aur
stool par cadhkar phanda daalne ko taiyaar ho gaye|
Patni- "Jo kuch karna hai, jaldi karo|"
Pati- "Tum mujhe shaanti se marne do|"
Patni- "Mujhe stool ki sakht jaroorat hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Premi- "Hamari mulakaat to abhi teen din ki hai
aur tumne mujhse vivaah karne ka faisla kar liya?"
Premika- "Lekin mai us bank me teen saal se hoon,
jisme tumhara account hai|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Ajay- "Reena, kal raat mai badi der tak tumhare
paas baitha raha tha| Mere jaane ke baad maa ne
pitaji se koi shikayat to nahi ki thi?"
Reena- "Ki thi, vah pitaji se keh rahi thi,
sabhi mard ek jaise hote hai| Yah baat aaj
bhi utni hi sach hai jitni hamare jamaane me thi|"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
Santa- "Paanch minute me apne shabd waapas lo,
varna acha na hoga|"
Banta- "Aur paanch minute me shabd waapas na loon to?"
Santa- "Acha tumhi batao, tumhe is kaam ke
liye kitna samay chahiye?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Hindi_Jokes
suhanisharma21f@gmail.com

Back to top
Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post
Messages in this topic (1)

2.: Hum koi gila nahi karte

Posted by: "Loveever" shaiprajapati@yahoo.co.in shaiprajapati

Fri May 7, 2010 11:00 am (PDT)

love

UPDATES
@ WWW.LOVEEVER. ORG

Yaad karo na
karo tum,

Hum koi gila
nahi karte.

Veerano
me bhi fool kabhi,

Khushboo
ke khila nahi karte.

Hame
bhool jao hame koi gum nahi,

Par
hum jesa yar kisi ko mila nahi karte.

Tum
bhi pahchanogi ek din hume,

Magar
har bar achchhe yaar,

Sabhi
ko mila nahi karte.

Magar
itna jarrur yaad rakhna,

Jo
tumhe hamesha dil se chahte hai,

Vo
kabhi tumhe bhula nahi karte.

Vishwas
ki ek dori hai pyar,

Betab
dil ki majboori hai pyar.

Magar wafa hi
karenge hum to,

Bewafae ke
sath hum chala nahi karte.

UPDATES
@ WWW.LOVEEVER. ORG

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Loveever_Groups

Back to top
Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post
Messages in this topic (1)

3.: What I Need

Posted by: "Loveever" shaiprajapati@yahoo.co.in shaiprajapati

Fri May 7, 2010 11:06 am (PDT)

org

What I Need

Need a strength
to keep me true

And straight in
whatever I do.

I need a power to
keep me strong

When I am tempted
to do wrong.

I need a grace to
keep me pure

When passion
tries its deadly lure.

I need a love to
keep me sweet

When hardness and
mistrust I meet.

I need an arm to
be my stay

When dark with
trouble grows by day;

And nothing on
earth can these afford,

But all is found
in my Lord.

shaiprajapati@loveever.org

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Loveever_Groups

http://loveever.fashionandyou.com

Back to top
Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post
Messages in this topic (1)

4.: Very Important Information

Posted by: "Avi Dil Se..." avivaghasiya@yahoo.com avivaghasiya

Fri May 7, 2010 12:17 pm (PDT)

BRAIN DAMAGING HABITS

1. No Breakfast
People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2 . Overeating=2 0
It causes hardening of the brain arteries, leading to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our 20 body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6 . Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest.. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells..

7. Head covered while sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working your brain during illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in stimulating thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain

The main causes of liver damage are:

1. Sleeping too late and waking up too late are main cause.

2. Not urinating in the morning.

3 . Too much eating.

4. Skipping breakfast.

5. Consuming too much medication.

6. Consuming too much preservatives, additives, food coloring, and artificial sweetener.

7. Consuming unhealthy cooking oil.
As much as possible reduce cooking oil use when frying, which includes even the best cooking oils like olive oil. Do not consume fried foods when you are tired, except if the body is20very fit.

8. Consuming raw (overly done) foods also add to the burden of liver.
Veggies should be eaten raw or cooked 3-5 parts. Fried veggies should be finished in one sitting, do not store.

We should prevent this without necessarily spending more. We just have to adopt a good daily lifestyle and eating habits. Maintaining good eating habits and time condition are very important for our bodies to absorb and get rid of unnecessary chemicals according to 'schedule.'

The top five cancer-causing foods are:

1.. Hot Dogs

Because they are high in nitrates, the Cancer Prevention Coalition advises that children eat no more than 12 hot dogs a month. If you can't live without hot dogs, buy those made without sodium nitrate.

2. Processed meats and Bacon

Error! Filename not specified.

Also high in the same sodium nitrates found in hot dogs, bacon, and other processed meats raise the risk of heart disease. The saturated fat in bacon also contributes to cancer.

3. Doughnuts

Doughnuts are cancer-causing double trouble. First, they are made with white flour, sugar, and hydrogenated oils, then fried at high temperatures. Doughnuts, says Adams , may be the worst food you can possibly eat to raise your risk of cancer.

4. French fries

Like doughnuts, French fries are made with hydrogenated oils and then fried at high temperatures. They also contain cancer- causing acryl amides which occur during the frying process. They should be called cancer fries, not French fries, said Adams .

5. Chips, crackers, and cookies

All are usually made with white flour and sugar... Even the ones whose labels claim to be free of trans-fats generally contain small amounts of trans-fats.

PASS THIS TO ALL WHOM YOU CARE FOR. ............ .. ...

*
* Avi Dil Se...
* 09974948648

Back to top
Reply to sender | Reply to group | Reply via web post
Messages in this topic (1)