5 Messages
Digest #3411
Messages
Sun Jul 6, 2014 5:59 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Richa Aggarwal" love_only11004
Nice mail
Sent from my Windows Phone
------------------------------
From: Mahesh Popat mahesh_popat@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes]
<Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: 24-05-2014 07:43 PM
To: Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Hindi Jokes] Jokes, Shayaris, Cool, Quotes (24 May 14)
CHAK DE
=======
Wife (on phone)
Suniye ji, window khul nahi rahi hai.
Husband- Aisa karo
thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do.
Wife- Kya usese kaam ho jayega.
Husband- Try to karo.
After 15 mins , husband calls wife.
Husband- Tumne try kiya??
Wife- Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi band ho gaya!!!
=======
What is "GENERATION GAP"?
**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!!)
=======
"Is kadar bebas nahin zindagi
Koshish jeene ki to karo yaaron
Beh jaayenge gham saare aansu ban kar
Koshish inhein peene ki to karo yaaron"
=======
Chhat tapkti hai uske...kacche ghar ki....!
Wo Kissan fir bhi... Barish ki dua karta hai...
=======
Ye bhi ek tamasha hai bazar-e-ulfat me galib....
Dil kisi ka hota hai aur bas kisi ka chalta hai...
=======
"Reh rehkar unki yaad aaye to kya kare,
Unki yaad dil se na jaye to kya kare,
socha tha khwab me mulakaat hogi unse,
isi khushi me neend na aaye to kya kare!"
=======
WoMen never listen properly:-
Wife: I lost my keys again !
Husband: It's in your Jeans.
Wife: Don't drag my family into this....
=======
Here is a list of things you need to teach your child(ren) at early age:
1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the
situation including
uncles.
2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old.
Learn to excuse them or yourself.
3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'
4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for
a way to find
out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse
themselves.
5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable
with and also be observant if your child
becomes too fond of a particular adult.
6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to
patiently
ask lots of questions from your child.
7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you
don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.
8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you
just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice
your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.
10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and
warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes you (remember, charity begins from home
and with you).
11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity
of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).
12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the
crowd.
13: Once your child complains about a
particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take
up the case and show them you can defend them.
Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.
"We Cares for your Child..."
=======
आज सिर उठा के वही चलता है
जिसके पास Smart Phone नहीं है...
=======
महसूस जब हो कि सारा शहर, आपसे ज़लने लगा है,
समझ लेना आपका नाम भी , चलने लगा है !!...
=======
Yaadon ko awaaz na dena..
Jeena mushkil kar deti hain
=======
Kabhi hum tutey toh kabhi khwaab tutey,
Na jane kitne tukado mein armaan tutey,
Har tukda aayina hai zindagi ka,
Har aayine ke saath laakhon jazbaat tutey....
=======
Ae dil tu dhadak par itna to soch zara,
teri pasand aur hai mere halaat aur hai.
=======
कौन कहता है जैसा "संग वैसा रंग"
इंसान लोमड़ी के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'शातिर' है...
इंसान शेर के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'क्रूर' है...!!!
=======
"एक एक कर इतनी कमियां निकाली लोगों ने मुझमें,
की अब बस "खुबियां" ही रह गयी हैं मुझमें........!
=======
A Serious Statement written outside a Women shoe shop
.
.
.
.
.
.
50% Discount
if you select in 2min
=======
Height of hygiene...???
An architect washing his hands with dettol
after making a drawing of a toilet..
=======
Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain,
kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary
trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Wife : (after few seconds silence).... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur
salad bhi tha...
=======
Sent from Samsung Mobile
Sent from my Windows Phone
------------------------------
From: Mahesh Popat mahesh_popat@ymail.com [Hindi_Jokes]
<Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: 24-05-2014 07:43 PM
To: Hindi_Jokes@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Hindi Jokes] Jokes, Shayaris, Cool, Quotes (24 May 14)
CHAK DE
=======
Wife (on phone)
Suniye ji, window khul nahi rahi hai.
Husband- Aisa karo
thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do.
Wife- Kya usese kaam ho jayega.
Husband- Try to karo.
After 15 mins , husband calls wife.
Husband- Tumne try kiya??
Wife- Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi band ho gaya!!!
=======
What is "GENERATION GAP"?
**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!
=======
"Is kadar bebas nahin zindagi
Koshish jeene ki to karo yaaron
Beh jaayenge gham saare aansu ban kar
Koshish inhein peene ki to karo yaaron"
=======
Chhat tapkti hai uske...kacche ghar ki....!
Wo Kissan fir bhi... Barish ki dua karta hai...
=======
Ye bhi ek tamasha hai bazar-e-ulfat me galib....
Dil kisi ka hota hai aur bas kisi ka chalta hai...
=======
"Reh rehkar unki yaad aaye to kya kare,
Unki yaad dil se na jaye to kya kare,
socha tha khwab me mulakaat hogi unse,
isi khushi me neend na aaye to kya kare!"
=======
WoMen never listen properly:-
Wife: I lost my keys again !
Husband: It's in your Jeans.
Wife: Don't drag my family into this....
=======
Here is a list of things you need to teach your child(ren) at early age:
1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the
situation including
uncles.
2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old.
Learn to excuse them or yourself.
3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'
4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for
a way to find
out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse
themselves.
5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable
with and also be observant if your child
becomes too fond of a particular adult.
6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to
patiently
ask lots of questions from your child.
7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you
don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.
8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you
just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice
your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.
10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and
warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes you (remember, charity begins from home
and with you).
11: Blacklist some materials/associate
of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).
12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the
crowd.
13: Once your child complains about a
particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take
up the case and show them you can defend them.
Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.
"We Cares for your Child..."
=======
आज सिर उठा के वही चलता है
जिसके पास Smart Phone नहीं है...
=======
महसूस जब हो कि सारा शहर, आपसे ज़लने लगा है,
समझ लेना आपका नाम भी , चलने लगा है !!...
=======
Yaadon ko awaaz na dena..
Jeena mushkil kar deti hain
=======
Kabhi hum tutey toh kabhi khwaab tutey,
Na jane kitne tukado mein armaan tutey,
Har tukda aayina hai zindagi ka,
Har aayine ke saath laakhon jazbaat tutey....
=======
Ae dil tu dhadak par itna to soch zara,
teri pasand aur hai mere halaat aur hai.
=======
कौन कहता है जैसा "संग वैसा रंग"
इंसान लोमड़ी के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'शातिर' है...
इंसान शेर के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'क्रूर' है...!!!
=======
"एक एक कर इतनी कमियां निकाली लोगों ने मुझमें,
की अब बस "खुबियां" ही रह गयी हैं मुझमें........!
=======
A Serious Statement written outside a Women shoe shop
.
.
.
.
.
.
50% Discount
if you select in 2min
=======
Height of hygiene...??
An architect washing his hands with dettol
after making a drawing of a toilet..
=======
Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain,
kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary
trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Wife : (after few seconds silence).... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur
salad bhi tha...
=======
Sent from Samsung Mobile
Sun Jul 6, 2014 6:09 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
======
Scientists have found ice and water On moon
We just need to carry whisky and chips with us
Cant depend on Scientists for everything
======
"बादशाह की गली मेँ आकर बादशाह का पता नही पूंछते,
गुलामो के जुके हुए सर खुदबखुद
रास्ता बता देते है
======
Hazaro ki ginti to hame nahi aati,
par khwab kuch aisa dekhte hai,
ke ret ka har zarra agar hira ban jaye to
tohfe me aapko registan dene ki khwaish rakhte hai
======
मेरी आँखों के जादू से तुम अभी वाकिफ़ नही हो,
हम उसे भी जीना सिखा देते है, जिसे मरने का शौक हो......
======
अभी कदम ही रखा था
हमने मैखाने में
की आवाज़ आई...
चला जा वापस ,
तुझे शराब की नहीं
किसी के दीदार की ज़रूरत है...
======
Husband and wife had an heated argument on karva chauth day.
Husband came up with killer reply - Dimaag khane se bhi vrat tut jata hai!
======
असल में वही जीवन की चाल समझता है ,
जो सफ़र में धूल को गुलाल समझता है..
======
Hostel student to his frnd:-
"bhai dhoa ho gya Dhoka" .
======
Kisi ko "QURAN" mein "IMAAN" na mila
Kisi ko "GITA" mein "GYAAN" na mila
Kisi ko "GURUGRANTH&qu
Kya milega unko "AASMAAN" mein "KHUDA"
Jinko "INSAAN" mein "INSAAN" na mila.
======
किसी भी रुत में खरीद लीजिये,
दिल के जख्म ताज़ा ही मिलेंगे.
======
मौत से क्या डर, मिनटों का खेल है
आफत तो जिंदगी है, बरसों चला करती हैं ...
======
दोस्त और बीवी को कभी विश्वास दिलाने की जरुरत नहीं होती।
क्योंकि दोस्त कभी शक़ नहीं करेगा,
और बीवी कभी यकीन नहीं करेगी।....
======
सब समझते है, बात मतलब की,
किस ने समझा है, बात का मतलब...
======
Gupta ji ne nayi car li aur car ke peeche likhwaya, " saawan ko aane do"
Peeche se truck ne thok diya. Truck par likha tha, " aaya saawan jhoom ke"
======
तुम भी कमाल करते हो ऐ पागल दिल
उनको फुरसत नहीं और तुमको चैन नहीं !!!
======
कोई अपनों के लिए रोटी छोड़ देता है....
कोई रोटी के लिए अपनों को ही छोड़ देता है
======
Unke na hone se kuchbhi nahi badla yaro...
Bas kal jaha dil hota tha,Aaj vaha dard hota hai...
======
Ye Sochkar Rok Leta Hu Me,Kalam Ko Teri Tareef Likhte Likhte..
Ki Kahi In Lafzo Ko Sabse Behtareen,Hone Ka Gumaan Na Ho Jay
======
Sun Jul 6, 2014 6:20 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
We Indians Are Unique
1. Every Indian bachelor wants to marry a fair girl.
2. When the doorbell rings, a male or kid goes to open the door. But the female runs for her dupatta.
3. Picking up/dropping a relative (airport / railway stn) is an important family affair.
4. We thrive on street food and we don't get sick.
5. Every Indian mother has 2 careers - Working / Housewife + Match Making.
6. We have all had secret boyfriends / girlfriends. We don't care about them cheating on us but we dread getting caught by each others parents.
7. Indian girls have 3 type of brothers. Real brother, Cousin brother, Rakhee brother.
8. The bride must cry at her Vidai. She has no business looking happy.
9. We go on cleaning sprees only during Diwali or when we have guests coming over.
10. However old we are, our parents need to know every detail of our schedule. Daily. No excuses. No exemption.
11. When Indian parents buy tickets, every child becomes under 12. Getting a half ticket is a huge victory!
12. If we live in another city and don't call our Mom daily , she'll freak out and call all our friends to make sure we are alive.
13. We get embarrassed in front of our parents even when the word "sex" is written on a Form to specify gender.
14. No other nationality can beat Indians in bargaining. "Chalo bhaiya . Na tera na mera. Itne paise theek hain."
15. No matter if we are Convent educated. When we are actually angry, we switch to highly effective, dirty, swear words in our mother tongue.
16. We spend more time talking to guests at the door when they are leaving than while sitting in the living room.
17. Why to change the remote batteries when you can just slap the shit out of the remote and make it work?
18. Meeting a person with the same surname is like finding a long lost twin.
Sun Jul 6, 2014 6:20 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call asap, changed his clothes & went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy's father pacing in the hall waiting for the doctor.
On seeing him, the dad yelled:"Why did you take all this time to come? Don't you know that my son's life is in danger? Don't you have any sense of responsibility?"
The doctor smiled & said:"I am sorry, I wasn't in the hospital & I came as fast as I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you'd calm down so that I can do my work"
"Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??" said the father angrily
The doctor smiled again & replied: "I will say what Job said in the Holy Book "From dust we came & to dust we return, blessed be the name of God". Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go & intercede for your son, we will do our best by God's grace"
"Giving advises when we're not concerned is so easy" Murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy,"Thank goodness!, your son is saved!" And without waiting for the father's reply he carried on his way running. "If you have any questions, ask the nurse!!"
"Why is he so arrogant? He couldn't wait some minutes so that I ask about my son's state" Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.
The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: "His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was at the burial when we called him for your son's surgery. And now that he saved your son's life, he left running to finish his son's burial."
Moral: Never judge anyone….. because you never know how their life is & what they're going through"
Sun Jul 6, 2014 6:20 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
======
Saaf saaf keh dene chahiye kisi se gila ho agar koi,,,
Faisle,,, Faaslo se kaafi behtar hote hain...!!!!
======
Pyar ki hadh toh dekho..
Mai karta raha uska intezaar
aur waqt ne aage badna he chod diya...
======
मुमकिन हो तो मेरे दिल में रह लो,
इससे बेहतरीन मेरे पास कोई घर नहीं
======
नर्म लफ़्ज़ों से भी लग जाती है चोटें अक्सर,
रिश्ते निभाना बड़ा नाज़ुक सा हुनर होता है...
======
कोई ताल्लुक न जोड़ो मगर सामने तो रहो.....
तुम अपने गुरूर में खुश,
और हम अपने सुरूर में खुश !!!!
======
"अपनी खुद की गलतियों पर हसना,आपकी उम्र बढा सकता हॆ- " -शेक्सपियर
" अपनी बीवी की गलतियों पर हसना,आपकी उम्र घटा भी सकता हॆ" -शेक्सपियर की बीवी
======
Height of taunt:I was sitting in the window n singing"
.Mom came n replied"
======
Technical PJ Will surely kill u -
Scientists were playing hide & seek in heaven.
Einstein was seeker.
Newton didn't hide & stood in a square of 1 meter.
Einstein: I found u Newton !! Thhappa !!!
Newton: U are Wrong.
I am not Newton.
As I am standing in 1 mtr square, I am Newton/per mt sq.
So I am Pascal.
Aatli Batli Futli...
======
जब चलना नहीं आता तो गिरने नहीं देते थे लोग....
जब से संभाला खुद को.. कदम कदम पर गिराने की सोचते है लोग...
======
Aaj ka Gyan
हम भारतीयों के पास हर समस्या का समाधान होता है ...
बस समस्या दूसरे की होनी चाहिए ...
======
तुमने क्या सोचा कि तुम्हारे सिवा कोई नही मुझे चाहने वाला,
छोङ कर तो देख, मौत तैयारखङी है मुझे अपने सीने से लगाने के लिए…!!!
======
हर बार थाम लेंगे गिरो चाहे जितनी भी बार तुम..
इल्तिजा बस इतनी ही है मेरी नज़रों से न गिरना तुम...!!
======
तुम आओ कभी दस्तक तो दो दर-ए-दिल पर;
प्यार पहले से कम हो तो सज़ा-ए-मौत दे देना..!!!
======
ला तेरे पेरों पर मरहम लगा दूं...
कुछ चोट तो तुझे भी आई होगी मेरे दिल को ठोकर मार कर...!!!
======
"मैं झुक गया तो वो सज़दा समझ बैठे,
मैं तो इन्सानियत निभा रहा था ...
वो खुद को ख़ुदा समझ बैठे...!!".
======
यहाँ मेरा कोई अपना नहीं है..
..चलो अच्छा है कुछ ख़तरा नहीं है !!
======
हर किसी के नाम पे नहीं रूकती,
धडकनों के भी अपने उसूल होते हैं.
======
कहानियाँ कुछ यूं भी अधूरी रह जाती है
कभी पन्ने कम पङ जाते हैं कभी स्याही सूख जाती है
======
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