5 Messages
Digest #3379
Messages
Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:31 pm (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled another valuable program, Romance 9.5.And then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1.
What can I do?
Reply:
Dear Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.
Also DO NOT disturb the original package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new virus Girlfried 2.5 automatically downloaded into your system. So be careful.In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:31 pm (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
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Bhagwaan ji bhi hairaan hai, ki itni ghanti tau mere Mandir mein bhi nahi bajti,
jitni k whatsapp ki ghanti Bajti hai!!
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बादलों से कह दो अब इतना भी ना बरसे....
गर मुझे उनकी याद आ गई, तो मुकाबला बराबरी का होगा.!!
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जाम पे जाम पीने का क्या फ़ायदा,
शाम को पी सुबह उतर जाएगी,
अरे दो बून्द दोस्ती के पी ले
ज़िन्दगी सारी नशे में गुज़र जाएगी...
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Education is not a Name of Any Degree or Certificate that can be shown to others as a Proof ...But ... Education is the name of Our Attitude, Actions, Language , Behaviour & Personality with Others in Real Life ... !!
And thus it is Rightly said that ...
To be Born with a Personality is a Gift from your Parents ... But ... To Die as a Personality is an Achievement of your Own and a Return Gift to your Parents ... !!
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GF: Hey baby, what plans for weekend ?
BF: Income Tax Returns
GF: Hey first part kab release hua tha?
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Wed Mar 12, 2014 11:35 pm (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
All men will attest to some real wisdom in this message
......In the world of romance, once single rule applies: MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY!
Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES You make the bed. (+1) You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows. (-10) You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-3) You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8) But return with Old Monk. (-5)
PROTECTIVE DUTIES You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0) You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something. (+5) You pummel it with an iron rod. (+10) It'
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side for the entire party. (+1) You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend. (-2) Named Tina (-10) Tina is a dancer. (-20) Tina is single. (-40)
HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner. (+2) You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3) Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2) And its all-you-can-
A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie. (+1) You take her to a movie she likes. (+5) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you like. (-2) It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans. (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-80)
THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what) You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, "Where?
COMMUNICATION
Send this on to all of the gentlemen you know to refresh them on the point system.(and to the ladies you know with a good sense of humor!) !!!
Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:18 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
Best Slogans
1. Sign on a famous beauty parlor in Mumbai:Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your grandmother.
2. Sign on a bulletin board:Success is relative, More the success, more the relatives.
3. Sign at a barber's saloon in Juhu, Mumbai:We need your heads to run our business.
4. A traffic slogan:Don't let your kids drive if they are not old enough or else they will never be old.
5. THE BEST ONE BY INDIAN ARMED FORCES:Its God's responsibility to forgive the terrorist organizations. It's our responsibility to arrange the meeting between them & God.
Thu Mar 13, 2014 12:37 am (PDT) . Posted by:
"Mahesh Popat" mahesh_popat@ymail.com
CHAK DE
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Never underestimate the power of 3 things
1. Women angry for a reason
2. Women angry without reason
3. Women about to get angry & looking for a reason.
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A wife's biggest ever lie to her husband:
"Tell me the truth... I will forgive you..."
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Family's Introduction!
A man from UP is introducing his family:
1. Ee hai hamaar biwi..... Google Raani... Ek sawal poocho toh 10 jawab deti hai...!!!
2. Ee hai hamaar bitwa.... Facebook Kumar... Ghar ki baat sare colony tak pahuchata hai...!!!
3. Ee hai hamaar bitiya .... Twitter Kumari... Poori colony isko folow karti hai...!!!
4. Aur hum, Orkut Kumar... Hamka koi puchhta hi nahi...!!!
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सवाल - भारतीय बल्लेबाज़ों को सबसे ज़्यादा डर किन गेंदबाज़ों से लगता है?
जवाब - अपने गेंदबाज़ों से !
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गौर फरमाईएगा...मेरी नयी कविता का नाम है.." दो बूंद "
सुनिए..........टपक... टपक..!!
शुक्रिया.. उम्मीद है पसंद आई होगी...!!
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Never make a women cry...
There is nothing more expensive than a female tear
When a single drop comes out, it first mixes with 'Loreal&#
Then when it rolls down the cheek, it mixes with 'D&G' blusher (Rs.2500)...
finally when it touches the lips, it gets mixed with 'Maybelline&#
This means that a single drop is ruining Rs.6000
Pls don't make them cry guys... It wld b difficult to afford it .....!
Issued in public interest !
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