Messages In This Digest (34 Messages)

1.: Some True Words

Posted by: "Sameer Masalawala" sam_200391@yahoo.com sam_200391

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:36 am (PDT)

Mahobbat to Bewafa hai,ek din thukrahegi,maut hi ek sachi mehbooba hai,ek din zaroor ayegi ......
............

.

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2.: Good Morning to All

Posted by: "I am the Best" verygood101@yahoo.com verygood101

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:37 am (PDT)

Good Morning...

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice: It is
not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved…

<http://sig.graphicsfactory.com/> Glitter Graphics
<http://sig.graphicsfactory.com/>

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3.: to all of u

Posted by: "karuna sree" karunasri1986@yahoo.co.in karunasri1986

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:39 am (PDT)

Unlimited freedom, unlimited storage. Get it now
<http://in.rd.yahoo.com/tagline_mail_2/*http://help.yahoo.com/l/i\
n/yahoo/mail/yahoomail/tools/tools-08.html/>

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4a.: Re: चाय और समो&#2360

Posted by: "CHETAN PATEL" chetancpatel1982@yahoo.com chetancpatel1982

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:42 am (PDT)

इंजीनियर वों हैं
जो अक्सर फसता है
साझात्कर के सवाल मे
बड़ी कम्पनी के जाल मे
बासँ और कलाइँट के बवाल मे,
इंजीनियर वो हैं,
जो पक गया है,
मीटिंग की झेलाई मे,
सबमिसन की गहराई मे,
टीमवर्क की चटाइँ मे
इंजीनियर वो हैं,
जो लगा रहता है,
सिडुयुल को फिसलाने मे
टार्गेट्स को खिसकाने मे
रोज़ नए नए बहाने बनाने मे
इंजीनियर वो हँ
जो लंच टाइम मे ब्रेंकफास्ट लेता है
डिनर टाइम मे लंच करता है , और
कोम्मुटेशन के वक्त सोया करता है
इंजीनियर वोह है
जो पागल है
चाय और समोसें के प्यार मे
सिगरेट के खुमार मे
बँढ्वाचिंग के विचार मे
इंजीनियर वो है
जो खोया है
रिमान्ड्र्सँ के जवाब मे
न मिलने वाले हिसाब मे
बेहतर भविष्य के ख्वाब मे
इंजीनियर वो है
जिसे इंतज़ार है
वीकएंड नाइट पर धूम मचने का
बॉस के छूटी पर जाने का
इन्क्रीमेंट की ख़बर आने का
इंजीनियर वो हँ i
जो सोचता है
काश पढ़ाई पर ध्यान दिया होता
काश टीचर से पंगा न लिया होता i think ur ambition is also ............
chetan patel

ahmedabab

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5.: (no subject)

Posted by: "Kumar Manu" manukumar22@yahoo.com manukumar22

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:44 am (PDT)

ishq ke jaam ko aise na piyo
ki adha piya adha chod diya,
yeh pyaar hai mere yaar
nahi koi VIM BAR
ki thoda sa lagaya aur ho gaya.

when i cry no 1 sees my tears,
when i m sad no 1 sees my pain,
when i m happy no 1 sees my smile,

but saalaa 1 ladki ke saath ghumo to sari duniya dekh leti hai.

teri galion mein na rakhein ge kadam aaj ke baad,
teri galion mein na rakhein ge kadamaaj ke baad,
......
.......

kyon ki kichad bohut ho jata hai BARISH ke baad !!

Na pooch teri judai ke lamhe humne kaise bitaaye...

Paani main surf mila ke straw se bulbule banaye!!

Yu dekha naa karo hume haste haste, Yu dekha naa karo hume haste
haste,

Mere dost bade kharaab hain keh denge 'Bhabhi Ji Namaste!'

woh aati hai toh raastey pe 100 100 ke note bichchaata
hoon........ ......
woh aati hai toh raastey pe 100 100 ke note bichchaata
hoon........ ......
.
chali jaati hai toh uthaa letaa hoo

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6.: more cute

Posted by: "suraj_nitjsr" suraj_nitjsr@yahoo.co.in suraj_nitjsr

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:44 am (PDT)

Kisi na kisi pe kisiko aetbaar ho jata hai,
ajnabi koi shaks yaar ho jata hai.
khubiyon se nahi hoti mohabbat bhi sadaa,
khamiyon se bhi kabhi pyar ho jata hai.

daulat hai mujhko zindagi se pyari,
daulat ke liye kar dun kurbaan yari,
daulat ke liye tod dun dosti tumhari,
ab tumse kya chupana dost tum hi to ho daulat humari.

hasarat hai to sirf usse paane ki,
aur koi khwasish nahi iss deewane ki,
shikwa muje usse nahi khuda se hai,
kya zarurat this mujhe usse milane ki

YE DIN YU HI GUZAR JAYENGE,
SHYAD HUM DOST BICHAD JAYENGE,
NARAZ NA HO AAP HAMARI SHARARATO SE,
YAHI TO WO PAL HAI JO TUMHE AKSAR YAAD AYENGE.....

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7a.: first_time_mail

Posted by: "anand bisht" bisht_anand@yahoo.com bisht_anand

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:46 am (PDT)

- Toophan mai kishti ko kinare bhi milte hai
jahan mai logo ko sahare bhi milte hai
duniya mai sabse pyari hai jindgi
kuchh aau jaise jindgi se pyare bhi milte hai

- Socha tha har mor par aapko jokes bhejenge
par kya karu, kambakhta sarak hi sidhi nikli

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8.: Non Stop Fun Which You Need Always.

Posted by: "fun_shop95" fun_shop95@yahoo.com fun_shop95

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:49 am (PDT)

Hi
i have much kind of fun for every buddy lets enjoy.there is
Wallpaper,Jokes,Sms,Poetry,Mp3,Songs,Music,Fashion,FUN,WOrld Styles,WOW
Fitness For MAN and Women be smart At home,Make money,Online
jobs,Cricket,Amazing NEws,Latest Fashion,Women Corner,Recipes of many
world,Islam,Pakistan huh.... and much more

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9.: Learn from them! Animal friends....Too Cute!

Posted by: "Ashish T" ashishtk@gmail.com ashtek_2001

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:49 am (PDT)

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10.: ek baar phir humy dhoka mila

Posted by: "sania seher" saniaseher@yahoo.com saniaseher

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:56 am (PDT)

joinus ek baar phir humy dhoka mila
usay ek or phir moqa mila

kese bhool gaya vo sard sham
vo hathoon pe likha hua mera naam
zindagi se humy ek tuhfa mila
mukhalif hawa ka jhoonka mila

pher li nazar fizaaon ne
amber ne bhi rang badal liya
ek shaakh se gira phool
vo bhi humay sookha mila

ek baar phir humy dhoka mila
usay ek or phir moqa mila
http://www.j4jokes.com/forum <http://www.j4jokes.com/forum>

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11.: Believe in Your Dream....

Posted by: "I am the Best" verygood101@yahoo.com verygood101

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:58 am (PDT)

Hello my dear friends

Believe in your Dreams

Call People by Name. The swee test music to anyone's ears is the
sound of his/her own name.

Be Alert to give Service..... What we do for others counts most
in life...

If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!

Learn to understand first and to be understood second.

Don't underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a
listening ear,
an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which
have the potential to turn
a life around....

Life ends when you stop Dreaming, Hope ends when you stop
Believing,
Love ends when you stop Caring, Friendship ends when you stop
Sharing...

Every moment, every situation, every issue and every concern has
a positive side.
Find it and bring it to life....

Be Genuinely Interested in People... If you try, you can like
everybody, and
Everybody will like you.....

When you find a Dream inside your heart
Don't ever let it go
For Dreams are the tiny seeds from
Which Beautiful Tomorrows Grow

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12.: AATI KYA KHANDALA

Posted by: "Basant Sain" basant_sain@yahoo.co.in basant_sain

Thu Apr 17, 2008 10:59 am (PDT)

AATI KYA KHANDALA

Hindi

A Kya Bolti Tu ?
A Kya Mai Bolu ?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala ?
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ?
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya

Urdu - Best

AAP KUCH BOLEIN?
HUM KYA BOLEIN??
MULAIZA FARMAYEIN
IRSHAD
TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA?
KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE??
ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR KYA!!

English :

Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll
freak, baby,what else?

Sanskrit : This is too good

Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyami..

---------------------------------
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13.: Kanta na hota............

Posted by: "Sameer Masalawala" sam_200391@yahoo.com sam_200391

Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:12 am (PDT)

Kanta na hota, toh
phool ki hefazath na hoti,
Andhera na hota,to
roshini ki zarurath na hoti,
Agar mil jati har khushi duniya me,
Toh dil ki mulaqath dard se na hoti

"Friendship is the bridge between earth and heaven"

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14.: do u know (joke must read)

Posted by: "Vinay Malhotra" vinay79malhotra@yahoo.com vinay79malhotra

Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:13 am (PDT)

School: A place where Papa pays
and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that
keeps you poor all your life so
that

you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up
to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in
which a man loses his bachelor
degree

and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of
Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by
which masculine willpower is
defeated by

feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring
information from the notes of
the
Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through
"the minds of

either"

Conference: The confusion of one
man multiplied by the number
present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a
cake in such a way that
everybody

believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where
success comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where
everybody talks, nobody listens
and

everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by
nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from
the rest....except that he got

caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when
you are late and late when you
are

early.

Politician : One who shakes your
hand before elections and your

Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your
ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people
praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot
of things straight.

Office: A place where you can
relax after your strenuous home
life.

Yawn: The only time some
married men ever get to open
their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others
believe that you know more than
you

actually do.

Committee : Individuals who can
do nothing individually and sit to

decide that nothing can be done
together.

Experience: The name men give
to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end
all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments
himself during life, to be spoken
of when

dead .

---------------------------------
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15.: dil ki baat

Posted by: "suraj_nitjsr" suraj_nitjsr@yahoo.co.in suraj_nitjsr

Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:13 am (PDT)

khamosh palkon se behkar jab aansu aate hai,
aap kya jaane wo hame kitna yaad aate hai,
aaj bhi us modh pe khade hai
jaha usne kaha tha...Thehro ham abhi aate hai ..

SURAJ.

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16.: SUMMER KIDNEY PROTECTION

Posted by: "glassnost" mush2talk@yahoo.com mush2talk

Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:14 am (PDT)

GLASSNOST

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17.: RUKHSAT HOWA TO ???

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:22 am (PDT)

RUKHSAT HOWA TO ???

Rukhsat Howa To Baat Meri Maan Ker Gaya
Jo Uss Ke Paas Tha Mujhe Daan Ker Gaya

Bichra Kuch Iss Adda Sey Ke Rut Hi Badal Gay
Ek Shaks Sarey Shaher Ko Weraan Ker Gaya

Dilchasp Waqiya Hai Ke Kal Ek Aziz Dost.....
Apney Mufaat Par Mujhe Qurbaan Ker Gaya

Kitni Soudhar Gaye Hai Judaai Mey Zindagi
Haan Woh Jafa Jo Mujh Pay Ahsaan Ker Gaya

Main Baat Baat Par Kehta Tha Jisko Jaan
AnmoL Shaks Akhir Mujh Ko Bey Jaan Ker Gaya

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

TUMHARA ISHQ
Wafaon Kay Wadae Who Saray Bhola Gaya Chup Chap
Who Mere Dil Ki Dewarin Hila Gaya Chup Chap
Najany Koun Sa Woh Bad Naseeb Lamha Tha
Who Gum Ki Aag Main Mujh Ko Jala Gaya Chup Chap
Main Jis Ko Chota Hoon DOST Who Zakhm Deeta Hai
Who Phool Asee Chaman Main Khila Gaya Chup Chaap

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

HUM TUMHARAY HAIN TUMHARAY MSN

Hum tumharay hain tumharay MSN
janay man chatting ki qasam na juda hoonge hum
ye chating ,ye mailing
hum na bhoolain gay flirting
din ko hai sona raat ko karni hai chating
aata hai maza bohat karne mein flirting

jab se download kia hai tum ko MSN
har ek cheez ajnabi ho gai hai On The Net
apni neend ko yun main ne udaaya hai
Keaboard ko BED, mouse ko takiaa banaya hai
khail kood ko chora kion kia ye sitam
hum tumharay hain tumharay MSN

aata hai chating mein mujhay bohat maza
ab to aksar ho jati hai meri nimaz Qazaa
maan bulaay beta khaa lo khana
k aksar ho jata hai thanda nashta
ab tu hi btaa kia karain hum
hum tumharay hain tumharay MSN
na juda hunge chatting ki qasam

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Chehre pe khushi chah jathihai
ankhon mein suroor aajathi hai
Jab tum Mujhe apna kehte Ho
apne app pe guroor Aajathi hai.

Jab Tumse Mohabbat ki humne
Tab jake kahin yeh raaz khula
Marne ka Saliqa Aatein Hi
Jeene ka Shaur Aajathi Hai.....

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

hum na phoolon se pyaar karte hain,
na hum kaanto se pyaar karte hain,
Hum to unse pyaar karte hain,
jo humse pyaar karte hain!!
Dil ko manana agar hota aasaan,
na karte kisi ko yuhn pareshaan,
na hoti woh halat jo ho na bayan!!!
Hamesha naye andaaz mein yaad
aati hain tumhari kabhi lab pe,
haseen bankar kabhi galoon pe aasoon bankar!!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Har Phool ki ajab kahani hai,
Chup rehna bhi pyar ki nishani hai,
Kahi koi zakhm nahi phir bhi kyu dard ka ehsaas hai,
Lagta hai dil ka ek tukda aaj bhi uske paas hai

Taraste they jo milne ko humse kabhi,
Aaj woh kyun mere saaye se katrate hain.
Hum bhi wahi hain, dil bhi wahi hai,
Na jane kyu log badal jate hain

Khuda bachaye marz-e-ishq se,
Kehte hai ye aarzah accha nahin hota.
Hum aah bhi lete hai, tho ho jaate hai badnaam.
Wo qatl bhi karte hai to charcha nahin hota...

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Aik Baat Kahoo???

Dard kaisa bhi ho ankh nam na karo
Raat kaali sahi koi gham na karo
Ek sitara bano jagmagatay raho
Zindagii mein sada muskurate raho
Bhaantni hai agar bhaant lo her khushi
Gham na zahir karo tum kisii per kabhi
Dil ki gehrayii mein ghum chupate raho
Zindagii mein sada muskurate raho
Ashk anmool hai kho na dena kahii
In ki her bhoond hai motiyoon se haseen
In ko her ankh se tum churate raho
Zindagii mein sada muskurate raho
Faasle kam karo dil milate raho
Zindagii mein sada muskurate raho

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Chand ko sitoron se or mujhe tum se mohabbet hai,
phoolon ko baharon se or mujhe tum se mohabbat hai..

Mefil main jo milna nighahen jhukalena,
koi samajh na pai ke mujhe tum se mohabbat hai..

Ab tere hijr main bus ek kaam hai asman takna,
tum sitaron pe likh dena mujhe tum se mohabbat..

Hai hamain ehsas hai tum ko bhi ham se pyaar hai lekin,
yeh mere roohbarooh kehna mujhe tum se mohabbat hai..

Ajab mohsin mila mujhe rah-e-nijaat ka,
manzil ko mere kadmo per laa k rakhdiya..

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

AIK BAAT KAHOO???

Bay Baat Bigartey Rehtey Ho,
Bay Chain Hamesha Rehtey Ho,
Yeh sab Nishani ISHQ Ki Hai,
Kiya ISHQ Kise Say Kerte Ho?
Kiyoon Ratoon Ko Jagtey Rehtey Ho?
Aur Tarey Bhi Tum Gintey Ho,
Yeh sab Nishani ISHQ Ke Hai,
Kiya ISHQ Kise say Kertey Ho?
Zikar Jo Mera Chalta Hai,
Chehrey ka Rang Badalta Hai,
Bay chain say Tum Ho Jatey Ho,
Kiya ISHQ "MUJH" Hi Say Kertey Ho.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$4

Aik baat kahoon Agar suntey ho ?
Tum Mujh ko achey lagtey ho

Kuch chanchal se , kuch chup chup se
kuch pagal pagal lagtey ho

hain chahney waaley aur buhut
par tum mein hai aik baat buhut.............
Tum apney apney lagtey ho

Aik baat kahoon Agar suntey ho ?
Tum Mujh ko achey lagtey ho

Yeh baat baat pe kho jaana
kuch kehtey kehtey ruk jaana

yeh kiss uljhan mein rehtey ho....?
Kiya baat hai hum se keh daalo

Aik baat kahoon Agar suntey ho ?
Tum Mujh ko achey lagtey ho

Kaash mein terey Kaan ka Jhumka Hota

Raat ko be-khabri mein jo machal jaata Mein
Tu tery kaan se chup chaap nikal jaata Mein

Subah ko girtey teri zulfon se jub Baasi phool
merey kho jaaney pe hota tera Dil kitna malool

Toou mujhey dhoondti kiss shauq se ghabraahat mein
apney mehkey huey bister ki hur aik sliwat mein

Kaan se, Toou mujhey hurgiz naa utaara karti
Toou kabhi meri judaai na gawaara karti

http://www.j4jokes.com/forum
ganeshkumble11@gmail.com

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18a.: if he really loves u

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:53 pm (PDT)

if he really loves u

1. Know how to make you smile when you are do! wn! .
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence .
4. Give you the remote control during the game .
5. Come up behind you and put his ! arms around you.
6. Play with your hair .
7. His hands always find yours .
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages .
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .
11. Never run out of love.
12. Be funny, but know how to be serious .
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious .
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally
like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each
others company, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense of humor .
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason .
26. Quit smoking , chewing , drinking! , or drugs - just because he
loves u that much to quit it.

http://www.j4jokes.com

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19.: Very Important : For those who work on Computer

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:53 pm (PDT)

Very Important : For those who work on Computer

Very Important : For those who work on Computer

http://www.j4jokes.com/forum
ganeshkumble11@gmail.com

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20.: Q: Why do boys go to temples?

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:53 pm (PDT)

Q: Why do boys go to temples?
?
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?
?
?
?
?

Becoz temple is the only place where they can find..

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?
?
Pooja
Bhakti
Prarthana
Bhawna
Shraddha
Aarti
Archana
Aradhana
Shanti
Jyoti
Tripti
Deepti
Durga
Saraswati
Lakshmi
Parvati
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21a.: Mother in law (Toooo Goood)

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:53 pm (PDT)

Mother in law (Toooo Goood)

Mother in law (Toooo Goood)

http://www.j4jokes.com/forum

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22a.: Why are we so ugly

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:53 pm (PDT)

Why are we so ugly

Why are we so ugly
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23.: Fruits

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

Fruits

Fruits

http://www.j4jokes.com/forum
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24a.: Great Thoughts

Posted by: "Anil Kumar" anilkumar_engr5@yahoo.co.in anilkumar_engr5

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

I'm sad.
Sad like butterflies pinned to cardboard boxes.
Sad like books with torn pages, ocean shores empty of bathers.
I am sad like unfinished stories ...

With Best Regards,
AniL

Did you know? You can CHAT without downloading messenger. Go to http://in.messenger.yahoo.com/webmessengerpromo.php/

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25.: THE COMPLETE PANDITJI ENCYCLOPEDIA

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

THE COMPLETE PANDITJI ENCYCLOPEDIA

Panditji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."

**********************
Panditji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Panditji and hangs up.

**********************
Our Panditji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected" : He
was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote :
Yes
**********************
Panditji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one.
He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* barefoot!"
**********************
A Pandit goes into a store and sees a shining object. He asks the clerk,
"What is that shiny object?" The clerk replies,
"That is a thermos flask."
The Pandit then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The Pandit says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. His Pandit boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The Pandit replies, "Two cups of coffee and a Coke."

**********************
A Pandit took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Punjab, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai"

********************
What will a Panditji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!

*********************
What will a Panditji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!

*******************
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab. Verma raised a point,
"Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Sharma replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy at this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a
single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied,
"OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE
TAKE OVER USA ?????"
**********************
Pandit went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.
"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to PANDITs," he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Pandits," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Pandits," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Pandit?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

**********************
Why did 18 Panditjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

**********************
How do you measure a Pandit's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

**********************
What do you do when a Pandit throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

**********************
What do you do when a Pandit throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

**********************
How do you make a Pandit laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

**********************
What is the Pandit doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

**********************
* Why do Pandits work seven days a week?
* So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
* **********************
* Why can't Pandits make ice cubes?
* They always forget the recipe.
* **********************
* How did the Pandit try to kill the bird?
* He threw it off a cliff.
* **********************
* What do you call 10 Pandits standing ear to ear?
* A wind tunnel.

* **********************
What do you see when you look into a Pandit's eyes?
The back of his head.

* **********************
What do you call a Pandit who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

* **********************
What do you call a Pandit who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.

* **********************
Why does Pandit always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

* **********************
Why does Pandit have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

* **********************
How can you tell when Pandit sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.

* **********************
Why can't Pandit dial 911?
They can not find the eleven on the phone

* **********************
How do you get Pandit on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

* **********************
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Pandit looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

* **********************
What do smart Pandit and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

* **********************
Why does it take longer to build a Pandit snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

* **********************
The doctor told Panditji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Panditji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?" asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

* **********************

Pandits Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

* **********************
A Panditji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him
"Kyon Panditji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Panditji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "

* **********************

> > * Panditji is trying to commit suicide on the
> > railway
> > tracks
> > * and
> > * he takesalong some wine and chicken with him.
> >
> > * Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab
kyon
> > leke
> > baithe
> > * ho?"
> > * Panditji replies "Saali train late aati hai
kahin
> > bhook se
> > * na
> > *
> > * marjaun"
> > *
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Once a Panditji was travelling on a train. He
felt
> > sleepy so
> > * he
> > * gave the guy sitting opposite him on
> > * the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the
> > station
> > arrived.
> > * This guy was a barber, and he felt that
> > for 20
> > * Rupees,
> > *
> > * the Panditji deserved more service. So, when the

> > Panditji
> > * fell
> > *
> > * asleep, the barber quietly shaved off his beard.

> > *
> > * When the station arrived, the Panditji was woken

> > up, and
> > * he
> > * went
> > * home. Reaching home, he went to wash his face,
> > and
> > * suddenly
> > * screamed when he saw the mirror.
> > * Said his wife " What's the matter?"
> > * Replied he "The cheat on the train has
> > taken my 20
> > * rupees and woken up someone else"
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Having lost his donkey a Panditji, got down to
his
> > knees
> > * and
> > *
> > * started thanking God. A passerby saw
> > him and
> > * asked,
> > *
> > * "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking
God
> > for ?"
> > *
> > *
> > *
> > * The Panditji replied "I am thanking Him for
seeing
> > to it
> > that I
> > * wasn't riding the donkey at that time,
> > * otherwise
> > * I
> > *
> > * would have been missing too."
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Panditji got the 4th child. He fills data in the

> > birth
> > * certificate
> > * "Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
> > * "How come you write "Chinese" when both parents
> > are
> > Sikh?"
> > * " Aah, I read a newspaper, it
> > says that
> > * every
> > * 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and a Panditji were
sent
> > to the
> > * outer
> > * space.
> > * The ground control issues commands "Rubi!"
"Woof!"
> > (it's
> > * the
> > *
> > * barking sound)
> > * "Press the red button." "Woof! Woof!" "Moti!"
> > * "Woof!" "Press the white button." "Woof! Woof!"
> > * "Panditji!" "Woof."
> > * "Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch
> > anything!"
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Panditji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street
> > which has a
> > * Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants
> > to buy
> > * the
> > * clock on the Tower. Panditji says "Yes". "Give
me
> > a
> > * thousand
> > * rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The
> > man took
> > * the
> > * thousand and disappeared. Having waited for
> > several
> > hours
> > *
> > *
> > * the Panditji figured he was taken for a ride. On

> > the next
> > day the
> > *
> > * Panditji is again walking along the same street
> > and the
> > * same
> > *
> > * man asks him to buy the clock. "Give
> > me a
> > * thousand
> > * rupees and I'll go get a ladder." The Panditji
> > gives
> > him
> > * the
> > *
> > * thousand and says "I am not a fool.This time,
you
> > wait
> > * and
> > * I'll
> > * go get a ladder."
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Verma and Sharma landed up in Bombay.

> > They
> > * managed
> > * to
> > * get into a double-decker bus. Verma
> > somehow
> > * managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate
> > Banta got
> > * pushed to the top.
> > *
> > * After a while when the rush was over,
> > Santa went
> > * upstairs to see friend Sharma. He met Banta

> > in a bad
> > * condition clutching the seats in front with both

> > hands,
> > * scared to death. He says, "Arre Sharma !
> > What the
> > * heck's
> > *
> > * goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying

> > my ride
> > * down
> > * there ?
> > * Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a
> > *driver.*"
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Verma with two red ears went to his
doctor.
> > The
> > * doctor
> > * asked him what had happened to his ears and he
> > answered,
> > * "
> > * I
> > *
> > * was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but
> > instead of
> > * picking up the phone I accidentally picked up
the
> > iron
> > * and
> > * stuck it to my ear."
> > * " Oh Dear! " the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
> > * "But ..what happened to your other ear?"
> > * "The scoundrel called back."
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Verma is called for an interview in some
> > firm. He lands
> > there
> > * on
> > * time. He is immediately hauled inside in front
of
> > the
> > interviewing
> > * officer.
> > * Officer looks at Verma then goes through
his
> > certificates and
> > * then
> > * starts asking him questions.
> > *
> > * Following is the transcript :
> > * O : Mr. Verma, after seeing your
> > qualifications &
> > credentials I
> > * would
> > * like to ask you only some simple questions.If
you
> > can answer
> > those
> > * then
> > * you are selected. First we will start with some
> > opposites
> > * S : Yes Sir.
> > * Officer started asking questions
> > * O : Above
> > * S : Below
> > * O : Front
> > * S : Back
> > * O : Left
> > * S : Right
> > * O : Male
> > * S : Female
> > * O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
> > * S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)
> > * O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
> > * S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our Pandit also
> > spells it)
> > * O : U.....G.....L ....... Y.....(Officer shouts)
> > * S : P ..... I ..... C ...... H ........ H ...... L

> > .....
> > Y......
> > * Our Pandit also shouts)
> > * Officer is now angry.
> > * O : Get out
> > * S : Come in.
> > * O : Quiet please.
> > * S : Talk please.
> > * O : You are rejected.
> > * S : I am selected
> > * ....... ....... and This is how Verma got
> > his job.
> > * **********************
> > * A Panditji goes to a hotel and eats heartily.
> > After
> > eating
> > * he
> > * goes to wash his hands but starts washing the
> > basin
> > * instead.
> > * The manager comes running and asks him, "Prahji,

> > aap kya
> > kar
> > * rahe
> > * ho?"
> > * To this the man replies, "Oye, tumne hi to idhar

> > board
> > lagaya
> > *
> > * hai, "Wash Basin".
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Verma got up in the middle of the night to

> > answer
> > the
> > * telephone.
> > * "Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
> > * "No, this is eleven eleven."
> > * "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
> > * "No, this is eleven eleven."
> > * "Well, wrong number. Sorry to have got you up on

> > the
> > middle of
> > *
> > * the night."
> > * "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to
> > answer the
> >
> > * telephone anyway."
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Once Verma broke his leg when he threw his

> > cigarette butt
> > *
> > * down the manhole and tried to step on it.
> > *
> > * **********************
> > * Verma tried to light his cigarette. He
> > struck the
> > first
> > *
> > * match on the seat of his pants, but it wouldn't
> > light.
> > * He tried another. It wouldn't light. The third
one
> > finally
> > * lit.
> > *
> > * He lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match
out
> > and
> > put it in
> > * his
> > *
> > * vest pocket.
> > * "What for did you put that match in your vest
> > pocket?"
> > * "That's a good match. I'll use it again."
> > *
> >
>**************************************************************

> > *
> > * A Pandit sees lot of guys running on the
highway.
> > Asks a
> >
> > * bystander as to why're the guys doing what
they're
> > doing.
> > * The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
Pandit:
> > What do
> > * they
> > *
> > * get from that?
> > * Bystander : The winner will get a prize
> > * Pandit : Then why are the others running?!
> > *
> > *
> >
>**************************************************************

> > * Then there's the one about the Panditji who
> > brought his
> >
> > * binoculars to a funeral where they were going to

> > bury a
> > * DISTANT relative of his...
> >
> > **********************
> > One Pandit came to Madras and wanted to
> > do shopping in Burma
> > bazaar. His Tamilian friend told the Pandit
> > that the prices
> > will
> > be
> >
> > costly and hence asked him to bargain for half the

> > price.
> >
> > Pandit went and asked the price of
> > stereo for which the vendor
> >
> > told 2000 Rs. Pandit asked for Rs.1000.
> > vendor told he can give
> > for
> >
> > Rs.1800 for which Pandit told no, no only Rs.900.
> >
> > Vendor told ok, I will give it for 1500
> > Rs. for which Pandit
> > bargained for Rs.750. It was going on like
> > this when finally
> > vendor
> >
> > out of irritation said he will give the Pandit the

> > stereo free
> > of
> > cost.
> >
> > "Our Pandit asked whether he will give
> > two."
> >
> > **********************
> > A Pandit buys a ticket and wins the
> > lottery. He goes to
> > Austin
> > to
> > claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.
> > Our Pandit says, "I want my $20
> > million."
> >
> > The man replied, "No, Sir. It doesn't
> > work that way. We give
> > you
> > a million today and then you'll get the rest
spread
> > out for the
> > next
> >
> > 19 years.
> > " Pandit said, "Oh, no. I want all my
> > money right now! I won
> > it
> >
> > and I want it."
> >
> > Again, the man explained that he would only get
> > a million that
> > day
> > and
> > the rest during the next 19 years.
> > Pandit, furious with the man, screams
> > out, "Look, I want my
> > money! if you're not going to give me my $20
million
> > right now, then I want my 1 dollar
> > back!"
> >
> > **********************
> > Pandit Sharma went to the emergency
> > room with the tip
> > of
> > his
> > index finger blown off.
> > "How did this happen?" the doctor
> > asked.
> > "Well I was trying to commit suicide,"
> > Sharma replied.
> > The doctor asked, "Trying to commit
> > suicide by shooting your
> > finger?"
> > "No, silly! First I put the gun on my
> > head and I thought my
> > face
> > would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and
I
> > thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my
> > teeth straightened.
> > So
> > then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is

> > going
> > to make a loud noise, so I put my finger
> > in my other ear
> > before
> > I
> > pulled the trigger.
> >
> > **********************
> > After making a trip of South India, Santa
> > Singh, his wife and his
> > son
> > were
> > returning to Punjab in Tamil Nadu Express.
> > Verma was
> > occupying
> > the
> > lower berth, his wife the middle berth and
> > his son the top most
> > berth
> > in
> >
> > the train.
> > When the train stopped at one of the
> > stations on the way back the
> > son
> > requested Verma to bring him a cup of
> > ice-cream to which Santa
> > readily agreed. When Santa and his son
> > returned they found that a
> > South
> >
> > Indian who couldn't understand Hindi had
> > occupied his son's berth.
> > Outraged, Verma called the TTE and
> > asked him to help. TTE
> > requested
> > that he could not understand Hindi/ Punjabi
> > so it would be better if
> > Verma explained the whole situation to him
in
> > English.
> > Verma explained, "That man sleeping on top
of
> > my wife is not
> > giving
> > berth to my child."
> >
> > **********************
> > A Pandit was walking along, when he looked
> > up to observe a bird
> > flying
> > overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load
> > when it was directly over
> > him.
> > The Pandit says, "It is good that cows don't fly.
> >
> > **********************
> > A Pandit is in a bar and his cellular phone
> > rings, so he picks it up
> > and
> >
> > says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"
> >
> > **********************
> > How many Pandits does it take to pull off a
> > kidnapping?
> > Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to
> > write the ransom note.
> >
> > **********************
> > Why are Pandit secret agents the best in the
> > world?
> > Because even under torture they can't
> > remember what they have been
> > assigned to.
> >
> > **********************
> > Did you hear about the Pandit who signed all
> > his checks so no one
> > else
> > could use them if he lost his checkbook?
> >
> > **********************
> > Did you hear about the Pandit who asked his
> > friends to give him all
> > of
> > their burnt out light bulbs?
> > He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a
> > Darkroom.
> >
> > **********************
> > Sharma was painting his living room one
> > hot day.
> > "Why", his friend Verma asked him, "are you
> > wearing two
> > jackets?".
> > "Because," said Sharma, "The directions on
the
> > can says 'put on
> > two
> >
> > coats'."
> >
> > **********************
> > A Pandit was given the job of painting the
> > white lines down the
> > middle
> > of
> > a highway. On his first day he painted six miles;
> > the next day three
> > miles; the following day less than a mile. Then
the
> > foreman asked
> > the
> > Pandit why he kept painting less each day, he
> > replied
> > "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep
> > getting farther away
> > from
> > the
> > paint can."
> >
> > **********************
> > Why does a Pandit keep empty beer bottles in
> > his fridge?
> > They're there for those who don't drink.
> >
> > **********************
> > Why do Pandits have see-through lunch box
> > lids?
> > So that when they're on the train they can tell if

> > they're going to
> > work
> >
> > or coming home.
> >
> > **********************
> > Pandit, a Japanese, and a British were lost
> > in the desert. They were
> > driving around in a Jeep when it broke down,
> > because they had
> > nothing
> > else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep

> > as they continued
> > their
> > journey. The Japanese took the radiator, the
> > British took the seat,
> > and
> > the Pandit took the door.
> >
> > After a while of walking the British asked
> > the Japanese "I'm
> > confused,
> > why
> > did you bring the radiator?" The Japanese
> > responded, "If I get
> > thirsty,
> > I
> > can drink the fluid."
> >
> > Next the Pandit asked the British "Why did
> > you bring the seat?" So
> > the
> > British said "If I get tired,I am not going
> > to sit on the sand. I
> > can
> > sit
> > on this comfortable seat."
> >
> > Finally the Japanese asked the Pandit why he
> > had chosen the door.
> > The
> > Pandit quickly responded to this question, "Well,
> > when it gets hot
> > all
> > I
> > have to do is roll down the window."
> >
> > **********************
> > Why couldn't the Pandit write the number
> > "eleven"?
> > He didn't know which "one" came first...
> >
> > **********************
> > Did you hear about the Pandit skydiver?
He missed the Earth!

>> Once Bill gates who supposed to be the most
>> Intelligent man get irritated by this compliment
>> he just wants to be cool
>> so requested doctor to reduce mind strength
>>by half by reducing machine
>>to do half ,machine takes half an hour
>>but doctor forgotten and after 1 hour they pull of machine
>>just IN TENSION
>>but when Bill wake up, he smiled &said
SASRIYAKAALâ€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦â€¦

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26.: NEVER LOVE A SOFTWARE GIRL......

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

Never marry a Testing girl since she always doubts U.

Never marry a DATABASE girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a C girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a C++ girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a JAVA girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a VB girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a UNIX girl ,she always dump u with a core.
Never marry a PASCAL girl ,she always scolds u as rascal.
Never marry a COBOL girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a NETWORK girl since she may be very good in shooting troubles.
Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY

MARRY A GIRL FROM A "HARD"WARE FAMILY, THEN...........................

SO TAKE MY ADVISE AND DONT MARRY
ALWAYS BE HAPPY
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27.: Sardar Pic Jokes!

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

SARDAR'S ATTACK

Sardar's Last Painting

How does a Sardar copy Word Document?

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28.: Ad of the day

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

AD of the Day

AD of the Day
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29.: INTERIORS FOR YOUR HOME.

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

INTERIORS FOR YOUR HOME.

INTERIORS FOR YOUR HOME.

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30.: Good pics

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

Good pics

Good pics
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31.: Photoshop Fun

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

Photoshop Fun

Photoshop Fun

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32.: I found u

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

I found u

I've searched around the world
from north to south, and east to west.

Day and night, in search of a friend
because I only wanted the best.

This friend must be kind and sincere,
happy and full of cheer.

Someone who knows how to have lots of fun,
and when times get rough, won't run.

Though I've searched the world looking for you,
my friendship wishes finally came true.

I FOUND YOU!

If this brightened your day
Don't let it stop here
Pass it on to your friends
keep spreading the cheer!

Send this page to your friends!

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33.: Paintings --- Children and Nature

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

Paintings --- Children and Nature

Paintings --- Children and Nature

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34.: Art with mud! (ZABERDAST)

Posted by: "ganeshkumble11" ganeshkumble11@gmail.com hindi_jokes_sms

Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:54 pm (PDT)

Art with mud! (ZABERDAST)

Art with mud! (ZABERDAST)

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

[Hindi_Jokes] Digest Number 1847

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Posted by: "Sameer Masalawala" sam_200391@yahoo.com sam_200391

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